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Psychological roller coaster



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34 minutes ago, Coexister said:

So I met with my Psychiatrist yesterday and I left my appointment feeling very frustrated. All he talked about was how I was suddenly cured by having this surgery? Like it's the end all be all and for some reason that really go under my skin? As I needed to talk more about the changes and what to expect going forth and not "Oh, you should be so excited - your are now cured?? I had to remind him that this was not going to fix a couple of my other issues like my torn shoulder rotator cuff or my incisional hernia and that I have 2 more surgeries going forth and yet I just spent a lot of money and now have the stress of figuring out how I am going to cover these future surgeries and bills. I also have limitations due to these other two illnesses and won't be able to lift over 15 lbs until my hernia is repaired and healed. So this will limit me from doing strength training. I wanted to tell me what psychological changes I might be facing and have a game plan on how to handle these? Isn't that what they are supposed to instead of assuming everything is fixed and it's all going to be bright sun shiny day??

I found a phychologist who specializes in weight issues with a sub specialty in weight loss surgery. It has been SO helpful. She understands all the emotional things that happen after having surgery and all of the emotional/mental things that need to be dealt with to make surgery successful. I highly recommend seeing if someone like that exists around you. And, if not, if there is someone you can find that does skype appointments. Good luck!

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There is a great website that we therapists use to list ourselves and makes it easier for people to find us. It's called Psychology Today.

You can filter the therapies by location, insurance, problem (there isn't one for bariatric surgery, but weight issues and maybe obesity are options) and even preferred gender of therapist.

Working with a psychologist or therapist is a huge help, and a letter from them should make your docs, surgeons and/or psychiatrist take you seriously.

~SW: 278 CW: 165~
RNY 1/5/2005
"What got you here won't get you there."

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14 minutes ago, Amanda Dutton LPC said:

Psychology Today

Oh my gosh, Thank you Amanda for this as I had no idea on how to find a Pysch that deals with bariatrics/ weight loss and now with this website https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists , I see I have numerous options. Google was doing nothing for me so Thank you!

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Oh my gosh, Thank you Amanda for this as I had no idea on how to find a Pysch that deals with bariatrics/ weight loss and now with this website https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists , I see I have numerous options. Google was doing nothing for me so Thank you!
You are very welcome! I have the options set in my area, and also added bariatric surgery (we can add any specialties that aren't listed), but I don't know if many therapists think to do that.

~SW: 278 CW: 165~
RNY 1/5/2005
"What got you here won't get you there."

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When some things go wrong; take a moment to be thankful for the many things that are going right.

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Coexister, Sophia and everyone else feeling down and crappy, I know VSG doesn't solve all your problems, but it is at least helping to resolve some of the really important ones. If you have been dealing with obesity for a while, it's not going to cure everything overnight. It's not a magic pill or anything like that. If you had depression before surgery, you'll continue to have it afterwards. That's another issue to deal with. You're not alone!! We all have our crosses to bare.

I just celebrated my one month surgiversary yesterday and I am thrilled with my results. I feel and look much better today than I did a month ago--and much better than when I started this process last March (night and day). However, a life of obesity still leaves a toll. I am also facing more surgery down the road. At the end of May, I fell on some of my toddler's toys and had a grade three sprain of my left ankle. I can't say for certain, but I am sure the fact that I was around 90 pounds overweight probably made would would have been just a mild sprain into something more serious--but that's life. The fact is, I tore the damn thing to shreds--totally rupturing multiple ligaments and partially tearing my Achilles tendon . Of course, lucky me, the NSAID's that I was taking for the ankle gave me some lovely ulcers. I am going to need to have surgery to repair my ankle and will then have to go through a fun filled 6 months of physical therapy. My ortho wanted to do the surgery in September, but I put off because I wanted to do the VSG. I thought my recovery would be a lot easier and more successful if I wasn't 80-90 pounds overweight. Maybe I won't need a much time in PT??? I was also in a car accident a year ago and tore ligaments in my neck and shoulder. I still have pain and numbness from that injury along with some pretty horrendous headaches. I may need surgery on that at some point, but I am just going to live with it for now since the doctor can't guaranty that surgery would actually improve things much. I also have issues in my homelife--dealing with my wife's depression and other fun issues, like a high stress job (all of which helped to contribute to my obesity).

The bottom line is that no one who suffers with obesity to point that they are willing to have 80% of their stomach removed is walking into the operating room without a long list of issues and ailments. Whether it's physical issues or mental issues, we all ended up on the operating table because we have a variety of different problems we are working to resolve. We're all in that same boat with you, I am just choosing to look at the glass half full. Your problems whether they are physical or psychological are problems that can be fixed or improved with some more time. That's a good thing---but you need to be patient. In terms of paying the bills for all of this "goodness", well--join the club as well. I am sure half the people on this forum have plenty of bills that have to get paid---I just saw my credit card bill and nearly threw up. In the end, it's only money though. Health is way more important and I'll figure out how to pay the bills somehow. Staying up all night worrying about isn't going to make my checking account grow--so, it's just another thing to add to the pile of sh!t that I have limited control over.

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iOS testing post.

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And there will be nay-sayers, doubters, people trying their best to bring you down and there yYou will be, proving all of them wrong. Because now in life's journey you are a Winner and they don't matter anymore.

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I ended up switching psychiatrists after my surgery. The one I had been going to for almost 8 years said I was getting too weepy and I should go into intensive outpatient therapy and really freaked me out that I was losing my mind. My therapist told me my psych was full of it and I got a new one. So much happier now! Not all docs are created equal and some just suck lol

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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