Hi everyone. Today I encountered something I have seen a couple of times now. I am 6 weeks post operation and I am losing sloooowww. Which is fine. But sometimes people ask me about how much weight I have lost. Can be friends or family or total strangers. Today I was shopping for some smaller size jeans, and I was debating with my SO wheither I should buy 2 or 3 pairs of jeans. His answer was, let's take 2 and come back in a month, to get more. The sales woman looked puzzled and my husband told her I had an gastric operation. She then proceeded saying how good that was for me. And asked how much I have lost. I told her friendly, that I am not saying that, it is private. She really got a little angry telling me that it was only to support me and why was I angry. I told her I was not angry, I just consider that private. She got really upset about that. I ended up paying for my clothes in a bad atmosphere.
But even other people keep asking me. I do not consider that a rude question or something, it is just private and I don't want to tell people. Maybe because I was hoping for more weight loss, but honestly I think not, I think I just don't want to share that information with people who are not in the same situation.
What do you think? Do you tell random people your weight lost? Do you tell friends/family?

No need to tell anyone anything that you are not comfortable with, that said if you open the door to such conversations expect questions. You didn't open the door this time, but your husband did, perhaps its time to remind him that at this stage you will choose who needs to know about your procedure and that you would appreciate it if he didn't disclose or discuss with anyone without your permission.

I do consider it a rude question. I haven't been asked this time at weight loss, but have been before. I just look at them deadpan and say "Why do you ask?" If they don't get the hint, then I tell them that that is a fairly personal question and change the subject. If they're mad because they got caught being rude, that's on them.

1 hour ago, Xapphirea said:

Hi everyone. Today I encountered something I have seen a couple of times now. I am 6 weeks post operation and I am losing sloooowww. Which is fine. But sometimes people ask me about how much weight I have lost. Can be friends or family or total strangers. Today I was shopping for some smaller size jeans, and I was debating with my SO wheither I should buy 2 or 3 pairs of jeans. His answer was, let's take 2 and come back in a month, to get more. The sales woman looked puzzled and my husband told her I had an gastric operation. She then proceeded saying how good that was for me. And asked how much I have lost. I told her friendly, that I am not saying that, it is private. She really got a little angry telling me that it was only to support me and why was I angry. I told her I was not angry, I just consider that private. She got really upset about that. I ended up paying for my clothes in a bad atmosphere.
But even other people keep asking me. I do not consider that a rude question or something, it is just private and I don't want to tell people. Maybe because I was hoping for more weight loss, but honestly I think not, I think I just don't want to share that information with people who are not in the same situation.
What do you think? Do you tell random people your weight lost? Do you tell friends/family?

You don't owe anyone an answer to things that are private. Her anger is her issue. Share what you want with who you want.

3 hours ago, Xapphirea said:

Hi everyone. Today I encountered something I have seen a couple of times now. I am 6 weeks post operation and I am losing sloooowww. Which is fine. But sometimes people ask me about how much weight I have lost. Can be friends or family or total strangers. Today I was shopping for some smaller size jeans, and I was debating with my SO wheither I should buy 2 or 3 pairs of jeans. His answer was, let's take 2 and come back in a month, to get more. The sales woman looked puzzled and my husband told her I had an gastric operation. She then proceeded saying how good that was for me. And asked how much I have lost. I told her friendly, that I am not saying that, it is private. She really got a little angry telling me that it was only to support me and why was I angry. I told her I was not angry, I just consider that private. She got really upset about that. I ended up paying for my clothes in a bad atmosphere.
But even other people keep asking me. I do not consider that a rude question or something, it is just private and I don't want to tell people. Maybe because I was hoping for more weight loss, but honestly I think not, I think I just don't want to share that information with people who are not in the same situation.
What do you think? Do you tell random people your weight lost? Do you tell friends/family?

I like to turn it around on them and say "What are you saying, I was fat?" That usually trips them up pretty good.

What I would like to say:
If you will forgive me for not answering
I will forgive you for even asking such a question.

It’s no ones business.
In my opinion the average person that has not been obese cannot fathom what it is to lose 175 pounds so there is no point in me telling them a number they cannot wrap their brain around.
I say “a lot”. Then I move on.

Definitely don't answer if you don't feel comfortable doing so. I would recommend, though, that if you don't want to share your weight loss, you might not want to share that you had bariatric surgery - people are curious and asking how much weight you've lost after weight loss surgery is going to be a natural follow-up question for most people.

It is a rude question for a stranger to ask, imo. The people closer to me know I had the surgery and they'll compliment me and ask how much I've lost but I don't want to say because it's not as much as I'd hoped so far. But since they are closer to me I don't really know how to say no, especially since I'm already in the habit of telling them. Only my one coworker really asks, the others just say "they can tell". I dunno... it is an awkward situation.

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2 hours ago, mousecat88 said:

It is a rude question for a stranger to ask, imo. The people closer to me know I had the surgery and they'll compliment me and ask how much I've lost but I don't want to say because it's not as much as I'd hoped so far. But since they are closer to me I don't really know how to say no, especially since I'm already in the habit of telling them. Only my one coworker really asks, the others just say "they can tell". I dunno... it is an awkward situation.

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You could always say, 'my primary goal is health improvements and that is going great so far, thanks for asking'

I just say I don't talk numbers and people don't argue with that.

First of all, your husband opened the door by mentioning your surgery. I would put a kybosh on that and tell him to not discuss it with ANYONE without your express permission. I would be curious too but probably wouldn't ask a total stranger.

I don't know that the husband opened the door. Granted, perhaps the husband shouldn't have mentioned it (I'd be upset at his mentioning it to a stranger), but there are just some questions that are personal and mentioning something related to them doesn't make them fair game. For example, "I just bought a new house" doesn't make "how much did you pay" into an acceptable question. Similar for the following: "I got a new job" - "what is the salary", "I'm pregnant" - "How much have you gained"/"Was it planned". I just struggle to find a situation where asking someone "how much have you lost" or "how much do you weigh" is appropriate outside of a medical setting.

That's all I meant, that he really shouldn't have mentioned the surgery. But I know sometimes we spill stuff we don't mean to when taken off guard. IMO humans are busy-bodies and naturally curious, some just don't have filters for what's appropriate maybe? That said, I don't generally ask those questions of strangers myself, and have never reached out and rubbed the belly of a pregnant woman (even with permission or invitation!), why do people do that? lol

On 12/28/2018 at 7:37 PM, Ed_NW said:

I like to turn it around on them and say "What are you saying, I was fat?" That usually trips them up pretty good.

Turn it around on them and ask " what do you weigh?" end it with awkward silence. ?

No one asks. They just comment, "Oh my gosh! You look so great! You've lost so much weight."

I just smile and agree with them.

I'm not the poster child for WLS awareness. My response to something like that would have to be, "Noneya..." as in "none ya bidness".