Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

do you tell your weight lost



Recommended Posts

Hi everyone. Today I encountered something I have seen a couple of times now. I am 6 weeks post operation and I am losing sloooowww. Which is fine. But sometimes people ask me about how much weight I have lost. Can be friends or family or total strangers. Today I was shopping for some smaller size jeans, and I was debating with my SO wheither I should buy 2 or 3 pairs of jeans. His answer was, let's take 2 and come back in a month, to get more. The sales woman looked puzzled and my husband told her I had an gastric operation. She then proceeded saying how good that was for me. And asked how much I have lost. I told her friendly, that I am not saying that, it is private. She really got a little angry telling me that it was only to support me and why was I angry. I told her I was not angry, I just consider that private. She got really upset about that. I ended up paying for my clothes in a bad atmosphere.
But even other people keep asking me. I do not consider that a rude question or something, it is just private and I don't want to tell people. Maybe because I was hoping for more weight loss, but honestly I think not, I think I just don't want to share that information with people who are not in the same situation.
What do you think? Do you tell random people your weight lost? Do you tell friends/family?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

No need to tell anyone anything that you are not comfortable with, that said if you open the door to such conversations expect questions. You didn't open the door this time, but your husband did, perhaps its time to remind him that at this stage you will choose who needs to know about your procedure and that you would appreciate it if he didn't disclose or discuss with anyone without your permission.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I do consider it a rude question. I haven't been asked this time at weight loss, but have been before. I just look at them deadpan and say "Why do you ask?" If they don't get the hint, then I tell them that that is a fairly personal question and change the subject. If they're mad because they got caught being rude, that's on them.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Xapphirea said:

Hi everyone. Today I encountered something I have seen a couple of times now. I am 6 weeks post operation and I am losing sloooowww. Which is fine. But sometimes people ask me about how much weight I have lost. Can be friends or family or total strangers. Today I was shopping for some smaller size jeans, and I was debating with my SO wheither I should buy 2 or 3 pairs of jeans. His answer was, let's take 2 and come back in a month, to get more. The sales woman looked puzzled and my husband told her I had an gastric operation. She then proceeded saying how good that was for me. And asked how much I have lost. I told her friendly, that I am not saying that, it is private. She really got a little angry telling me that it was only to support me and why was I angry. I told her I was not angry, I just consider that private. She got really upset about that. I ended up paying for my clothes in a bad atmosphere.
But even other people keep asking me. I do not consider that a rude question or something, it is just private and I don't want to tell people. Maybe because I was hoping for more weight loss, but honestly I think not, I think I just don't want to share that information with people who are not in the same situation.
What do you think? Do you tell random people your weight lost? Do you tell friends/family?

You don't owe anyone an answer to things that are private. Her anger is her issue. Share what you want with who you want.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, Xapphirea said:

Hi everyone. Today I encountered something I have seen a couple of times now. I am 6 weeks post operation and I am losing sloooowww. Which is fine. But sometimes people ask me about how much weight I have lost. Can be friends or family or total strangers. Today I was shopping for some smaller size jeans, and I was debating with my SO wheither I should buy 2 or 3 pairs of jeans. His answer was, let's take 2 and come back in a month, to get more. The sales woman looked puzzled and my husband told her I had an gastric operation. She then proceeded saying how good that was for me. And asked how much I have lost. I told her friendly, that I am not saying that, it is private. She really got a little angry telling me that it was only to support me and why was I angry. I told her I was not angry, I just consider that private. She got really upset about that. I ended up paying for my clothes in a bad atmosphere.
But even other people keep asking me. I do not consider that a rude question or something, it is just private and I don't want to tell people. Maybe because I was hoping for more weight loss, but honestly I think not, I think I just don't want to share that information with people who are not in the same situation.
What do you think? Do you tell random people your weight lost? Do you tell friends/family?

I like to turn it around on them and say "What are you saying, I was fat?" That usually trips them up pretty good. :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
What I would like to say:
If you will forgive me for not answering
I will forgive you for even asking such a question.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
It’s no ones business.
In my opinion the average person that has not been obese cannot fathom what it is to lose 175 pounds so there is no point in me telling them a number they cannot wrap their brain around.
I say “a lot”. Then I move on.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Definitely don't answer if you don't feel comfortable doing so. I would recommend, though, that if you don't want to share your weight loss, you might not want to share that you had bariatric surgery - people are curious and asking how much weight you've lost after weight loss surgery is going to be a natural follow-up question for most people.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It is a rude question for a stranger to ask, imo. The people closer to me know I had the surgery and they'll compliment me and ask how much I've lost but I don't want to say because it's not as much as I'd hoped so far. But since they are closer to me I don't really know how to say no, especially since I'm already in the habit of telling them. Only my one coworker really asks, the others just say "they can tell". I dunno... it is an awkward situation.

Sent from my SM-G930R4 using BariatricPal mobile app

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, mousecat88 said:

It is a rude question for a stranger to ask, imo. The people closer to me know I had the surgery and they'll compliment me and ask how much I've lost but I don't want to say because it's not as much as I'd hoped so far. But since they are closer to me I don't really know how to say no, especially since I'm already in the habit of telling them. Only my one coworker really asks, the others just say "they can tell". I dunno... it is an awkward situation.

Sent from my SM-G930R4 using BariatricPal mobile app

You could always say, 'my primary goal is health improvements and that is going great so far, thanks for asking'

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I just say I don't talk numbers and people don't argue with that.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

First of all, your husband opened the door by mentioning your surgery. I would put a kybosh on that and tell him to not discuss it with ANYONE without your express permission. I would be curious too but probably wouldn't ask a total stranger. :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't know that the husband opened the door. Granted, perhaps the husband shouldn't have mentioned it (I'd be upset at his mentioning it to a stranger), but there are just some questions that are personal and mentioning something related to them doesn't make them fair game. For example, "I just bought a new house" doesn't make "how much did you pay" into an acceptable question. Similar for the following: "I got a new job" - "what is the salary", "I'm pregnant" - "How much have you gained"/"Was it planned". I just struggle to find a situation where asking someone "how much have you lost" or "how much do you weigh" is appropriate outside of a medical setting.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That's all I meant, that he really shouldn't have mentioned the surgery. But I know sometimes we spill stuff we don't mean to when taken off guard. IMO humans are busy-bodies and naturally curious, some just don't have filters for what's appropriate maybe? That said, I don't generally ask those questions of strangers myself, and have never reached out and rubbed the belly of a pregnant woman (even with permission or invitation!), why do people do that? lol

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 12/28/2018 at 7:37 PM, Ed_NW said:

I like to turn it around on them and say "What are you saying, I was fat?" That usually trips them up pretty good. :D

Turn it around on them and ask " what do you weigh?" end it with awkward silence. 😈

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Featured Surgeons

    1. Masoud Rezvani

      Woodbridge, Virginia 22191

    2. Lisa Medvetz

      Downingtown, Pennsylvania 19335
      800-282-0066

  • Recent Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Jenwill630

      Woohooooooo!
      1 week from today and I get to be a loser!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • ms.sleeve

      Looking on the bright side: both a loss of 1lb/week and a loss of 4lbs/week are LOSSES.  So long as the trendline is going down, I'm happy.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • boringtessa

      Thought I'd give an update.  I'm over half way to my goal, which is awesome, and I've lost over 12 inches in my waist!  The weight isn't coming off as quickly as I had hoped, but I am also not exercising and still not getting even close to the amount of water I should be drinking, so slow weight loss is not all that surprising.  Sometimes I'm just "over it" and try to eat huge portions like I used to, but, thankfully, I feel the restriction of my smaller stomach and can't go crazy.  In general, I'm quite good, just trying to live my life.
      I now have a motivation to start exercising, though... I booked a plane ticket to Germany for the end of September, so this is a good chance to get strong, get hydrated, and reach my weight goal.
      · 1 reply
      1. Jenwill630

        WTG that is awesome!

    • Liz The New Me

      Wow looking through my own eyes I just don't see 50 lbs done.  I took the side my side picture from 4 months ago to today's and can only see some change.  I hope I can keep loosing.  I just read that the window or the honeymoon stage of weight lost is in the first 4 months after that it will slow down and you have to work even harder to keep it going.  Trying to keep positive even if it is one pound I lost in 2 weeks.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Anniejs

      So I had my surgery on Jan 7th. At this point I haven't eaten anything for 2 weeks am giving myself my injections. I can barely stomach the protein shakes that I am to have twice a day. I have noticed a small weight loss not as much as I thought I would have since I haven't eaten anything. I haven't started working out at the gym yet. I broke in a horrible case of hives from my incisions but have since been cleared up. I didn't really have any nausea from my surgery. I don't even feel like I had surgery. I am sure once I start eating  I will notice. To ask others. I have sleeve surgery so wondering if anyone else out there had this surgery how did you feel after. When did you start eating foods. I am nervous to start eating. I drink my 64oz plus water a day but that's about it that I am taking in other than the occasional sugar free Popsicle.  
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Trending Topics

  • Magazine Articles

    1. How to Tell Your Loved Ones about Weight Loss Surgery

      Posted in: Pre-Op Support
      Alex Brecher
    2. New Year’s Resolutions

      Posted in: Support
      Alex Brecher
    3. Go With Your Gut!

      Posted in: Mental Health
      Louisa Latela, LCSW, LCADC
    4. The Most Wonderful Time of the Year – Really!

      Posted in: Post-Op Support
      Alex Brecher
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs
    ×