I don't think I'm ready ):

[Ed_NW 684]

I think you are too indecisive. I have a son your age and I won't push him even though he is super morbidly obese. I think everyone goes through what is described as buyer remorse for a little bit after their first WLS and if you are questioning your motives as much as you are now and in past posts, you should wait a few years. You will (most likely) sabotage your own progress after the surgery and I'm basing that on my experience as a father. I tell my son, "You will know when you're ready to loose weight and get healthy because you will have an overwhelming sense of conviction". The old saying "You can lead a horse to Water but you can't make em drink" comes to mind. Go out and try to get healthy on your own one more time and if that doesn't work, (which it didn't for most of us on here) come on back. This community will still be here. As a parent, I wish my kids could learn from my mistakes but that's just not reality. All I can do is try to lead by example and that's the reason I'm going down this path now. Good luck with your decision.

[chuckwalsh 122]

I was wondering about the goal weight too, but assumed it was just numbers quickly filled out. I'm 5'2 my goal weight is 135 and that's kinda on the heavier side for my height. My Dr at the last visit said he would be happy to see me at 140. Either one is still smaller than I've been since a teenager and I've had kids as well. I'm just mostly focusing on becoming healthier and learning better habits

I dont have a goal weight for myself. My goal is to be able to go to a theme park and ride all the roller coasters.. I haven't been able to do that since I was 18.. which.. doesnt feel like it was that long ago.. but it was.

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[nenes78 528]

I had considered sleeve 8 years ago. Took the program and decided to not to have the surgery.

I realized 2 truths between then and now:

• I should have had surgery then, seeing the benefit of it now, except;
• I'm glad I didn't because mentally and maturity wise I was not ready for some of the changes as you have stated in the first post

You need to really be committed to yourself. It's hard to change and let go. Don't do it until you come to terms with you and are ready.

Good luck!

[jultrim18 132]

I would definitely not get the surgery now if you are feeling this way. To be honest, I had no idea how restricting the surgery would be. I thought I was going to have no cravings or hunger. Therefore, I was so excited and ready. I am 25 years old. I got the surgery on 08/17/2018. Let me just tell you, I am still dealing with food depression. I have no way to comfort myself now. I used to do it with food and alcohol after a long week of work. Now I cannot do that. Therefore, this tells myself I was not mentally prepared for the surgery. It’s too late now. I am stuck with the exhaustion and depression and boring life. I am stuck with this fear of food and fear or of gaining weight back. Still have an unhealthy relationship with food, but now it’s not eating. Ugh just terrible. I was a binge eater, though. Good luck. It is your choice. I am happy I got it because I am losing weight and feeling more confident. I hated being super fat. I felt disgusting after the fact I ate. So yes I am happy I did this, but it sucks at the same time. I think surgery is harder than actually dieting because you have no choice on how much to eat and you can’t have your cheat day because it all just hurts the little sleeve. I am just ranting now Bc I’m tired. Best of luck!!!

[FutureRN19 18]

I absolutely agree with everything the others have said. I will say that I am 8 weeks post-op at age 22 and I'm doing amazing. But then again I was ready. I most definitely felt the need to mourn a few things like the ability to just pig out. Or gulp Water when thirsty. Or any number of weird food habits I had before. But it's a good thing to break them. I've discovered a multitude of positive things that I didn't expect. The actual serving amount of many foods doesn't look ridiculously small to me. I now have the energy and genuine drive to exercise so I take full advantage. I'm completely satisfied with my 5 cajun shrimp. I've discovered new favorite foods (boiled cajun shrimp is to die for) and gotten to play around with cooking for one and having leftovers.

And just because I had surgery doesn't mean I have to give up absolutely everything forever that is on my avoid list. Because both my surgeon and my dietician want me to be able to enjoy what I eat, just far less and modified. My point is this, I knew before I had the surgery that this was a life change for the better. And sometimes the things you need don't feel good. Like a shot in the ass, sometimes it's what you need. And although I could have spent another decade trying and failing to lose on my own. Because I'd been trying since I was 12 (quick weight loss, Curves, Weight Watchers, the list goes on) and done nothing but continue to gain. But again I felt that I was ready. And so far, it's been the best thing I've done in my life. My advice would be to talk to your surgical team and maybe make a therapy appointment if you don't already see someone. You may not be ready and that's okay. Ultimately this isn't something you can take back so I would make doubly sure that you are ready.

[CashmereAndBones 36]

21 hours ago, Missouri-Lee's Summit said:

As for your family and friends being happy and proud of you, that's all well and good, but, ultimately, these feelings should be reserved for you alone. Your happiness and sense of pride should be front and center. The disappointment of others should never be a reason to proceed. There are certain decisions in our lives that belong only to us... and this is one of those decisions.

I recall your inner debate about what you have qualms about giving up (caffeine, nicotine, drinking, and eating). If you're still hanging onto all of these "pleasures", I don't see how you can possibly be ready. You seem to still be at square one.

I think I'm going to start the 6 months over 😕 I'm not ready...

[CashmereAndBones 36]

I just want to thank everyone for their imput! It really helped me realize that this isn't something to take lightly and I don't think I prepared myself. I am going to speak to my doctors office and ask to restart the 6 month weigh-in's and take it from there. Thank you all I've read every single response and you're all such amazing people for giving me your time to write feedback 🙂

[CashmereAndBones 36]

12 hours ago, sillykitty said:

I agree with you, from this and previous posts, you're not ready.

You are focused on what you will give up, instead of what you will gain.

No one can make you want your health, weight loss, mobility, etc., more than you want a pastry. Hopefully you will get there one day.

It's not the food I'm worried about, it's everything else I'd have to sacrifice (caffeine, my Juul which contains 5% nicotine, eating and drinking at the same time, sparkling water; the small pleasures that make me happy other than food itself) and right now I think I'd rather try ONE more time but seriously put the effort in to losing weight while redoing the 6 month weigh-in's and seeking a psychologist that specializes in eating disorders.

[CashmereAndBones 36]

13 hours ago, johnsons13 said:

I was wondering about the goal weight too, but assumed it was just numbers quickly filled out. I'm 5'2 my goal weight is 135 and that's kinda on the heavier side for my height. My Dr at the last visit said he would be happy to see me at 140. Either one is still smaller than I've been since a teenager and I've had kids as well. I'm just mostly focusing on becoming healthier and learning better habits

Nope I used to be 125 when I was my skinniest, I do want to model as I'm 6'0 tall. I don't expect VSG to make me that tiny but if eventually I choose to go that route it'll help!

[Born in Missouri 1,266]

If it helps, I've noticed that you are more open to feedback now ---even when it's something you might not want to hear. That's a good sign. When you first posted months ago, you were very defensive... and, well, I wasn't exactly walking on eggshells with you either. Knowing your age (now), and that I'm old enough to be your mother, I feel a little bad for being so blunt with you... but, in truth, I probably would have been just as straight-talking with my own kids.

[JessLess 1,163]

I don’t know if this is true for everyone who’s “older” but I tossed around the idea for years. Finally at 48 I was SURE, in part because several of my friends had it and I got to ask them everything. But in my case there was no hesitation or regret. (I am in the honeymoon period though.)

[Jul_a 8]

16 hours ago, Missouri-Lee's Summit said:

curious

16 hours ago, Missouri-Lee's Summit said:

You're 6ft and your goal weight is 125lb? How did you arrive at that? Just curious. I'm still wondering if my goal weight is achievable. After four children, I'm not sure it's possible. I think I just like "how it looks" in print.

I'm 6'1 female and my lean mass alone is 130+, my goal is 155+/- 10

[JessLess 1,163]

@CashmereAndBones I think it's a real sign of maturity to decide to wait. I've had friends who have gone through with marriages just because the wedding was planned. It's a lot easier and cheaper to wait until you are sure for either decision, even if other people think you are doing it now. The other people don't matter. Even more than a marriage, WLS is something you do for YOU.

[MSG0310 11]

Like you I have been battling back and forth between getting VSG. I’m 26 and my primary care suggested it at 24. Honestly, when I think of all of the things I’m going to be missing out on, it does bother me for a little while. But then I realize that it is simply my food addiction talking to me. I have spent the past few months trying to really come to terms with my food addiction and mentally prepare myself for surgery. Food is currently a coping mechanism, a comfort, a means of control in a life where I do not feel in control in many other avenues. My advice to you would be to please, please, try to tackle the very debilitating issue of food addiction first before surgery. Therapy is a HUGE step in this. Additionally, Identifying thoughts and actions that are coming from your addiction rather than your better self is another step. Even if you are still currently going through the motions that your addiction dictates, just having that presence of mind to understand that you are buying this meal or drinking this soda etc because of your addiction is an important part of overcoming it. I am slowly trying to do this before I go in for surgery. If you are not mentally prepared, it will be a difficult ride. I can say though that your health is the most important thing in your life. More important than any of these doubts.

I will say that everyone I know who has had surgery in the past does not have a problem with consuming nicotine, caffeine, or any of that. I’m sure in the beginning it will be tough, as you cannot have these things. But hopefully spending that time learning about yourself and coming up with healthier coping mechanisms will allow you to treat yourself on occasion. You can do it!

[chuckwalsh 122]

Ya.. just to comment.. I used to gulp my beverages almost 100 Pct of the time.. I'm 5 days post op.. just made my first Protein Shake after four days of juice/water.. and I just dont gulp now.. and it doesnt feel weird at all.. crazy.

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