Extreme anxiety about surgery at nighttime

[Oct517 527]

My surgery is approaching fast (October 2nd). During the day, I am able to stay excited and positive about it but at night my mind starts to wander and I work myself up into an almost panic attack thinking about all the "what ifs?". I'm just looking for some words of encouragement/support or to connect with other people who feel the same.

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[AnnaVSG91 4]

My surgery is approaching fast (October 2nd). During the day, I am able to stay excited and positive about it but at night my mind starts to wander and I work myself up into an almost panic attack thinking about all the "what ifs?". I'm just looking for some words of encouragement/support or to connect with other people who feel the same.
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I felt this exact same way before my surgery . I would think of the worst things and even reconsider if i should go through with it or not. Im now 12 days post op and I'm so glad I went through with it. I worked myself up about it so much and honestly it wasnt as bad as I thought it was going to be at all. Its definitely not easy and has its challenges of course but just know that you are going to be fine. You can do this and once you do you will be so glad you made this decision . so hang in there !

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[looly 361]

This reminds me of going to Canada and seeing all the "A fed bear is a dead bear" signs. Well, I never saw a single bear, but the mosquitos nearly ate me alive! 😨 Where were all the 'Beware the mosquito" signs?

Similarly, the surgery seems like the painful part, but it's not really. The sign should read "Beware the wind and constipation!" And even that wears off after a bit. ☺

Keep your chin up. After a bit of a struggle, you'll give birth to a beautiful baby new you - totally worth it!

[Matt Z 4,140]

To highlight how absurd the "what if" game is, think about all the what if's you don't care about. What if you choke on your Breakfast? What if you trip and fall while brushing your teeth? What if a plane crashes into your house? What if your car explodes?

I mean, you can what if ANYTHING, even stuff that's just absurd. The what if's for going into surgery are just as absurd. You can't control any of it, you've got the most experienced people possible performing the surgery, in a hospital, so... if anything WAS to go wrong, you couldn't be in a better place for it to happen to you.

Anxiety and fear are normal. Don't worry about being worried.

[BurBur 113]

Oooooohhhh!!! I love this game! What if you get to 140 lbs! What if you feel better than you ever have in your life! What if you look in the mirror and love what you see!! What if you finally try something crazy like sky diving or scuba diving or cave diving???? What if you never ever have diabetes, or hypertension or high cholesterol. Or!!! If you have some of those....What if they go away? Crazy!

BIG BIG HUGS!

It's super hard to curb the anxiety prior to surgery and after surgery you'll have all new anxieties! Yay! My own surgeon told me I could stop choking myself while he made his final preparations before I went to sleep. Apparently my hands were around my neck I was so scared. In reality I was so terrified I could hardly breathe! You'll probably be scared too. Everyone will tell you not to be including yourself. But hey, it is scary, right? You're taking a risk, but it's such a wonderful risk to take with such wonderful potential for a better life ahead. I say it's okay to be scared and to worry. You're going to lose some shut eye from time to time. Do everything you can to understand what worries you, try to focus on what excites you, and then be okay about being worried.

[dsdesigna 143]

You are making a huge change in your life. If you weren’t a little scared that would be more concerning. This journey is so worth it but it is chaotic for some time. It’s perfectly natural to feel anxious but you are about to open a whole new world for yourself and it will be amazing.

Take a deep breath, try to still your mind, find ways to distract yourself, get out of the house, watch a good movie, visit with friends but don’t talk about the pending surgery, read a good book.

Be proud of yourself.

[AJP 132]

I had gastric bypass on 8/16. Carpel tunnel surgery on right hand on 8/30. Pain wise I'd do gastric bypass any day compared to my hand!! Still need to get surgery on left but with the pain of it not sure if I'm going to do it.

[CrankyMagpie 509]

Hey, @Oct517! My surgery is the day after yours, and I'm in the same boat. (I mean, sometimes during the day it also stresses me out, but there are distractions and things I have to do... at night it's just me, my worries, and my arthritis pain, and the stress is higher.)

I don't have enough Xanax to get me through every night between now and the surgery (not by a long shot), but I have enough for a few key nights, like the night before. I'm considering trying a lavender tea + journaling ritual before bed, to get me through the other nights. (Chamomile would maybe be even better, if you aren't allergic to it.) I won't be in any less pain, but I will have gotten the worries out on paper so that I don't have to keep pondering them.

Anyway, you're not alone. And we're going to be OK! ❤️

[Rosie T 72]

2 hours ago, BurBur said:

Oooooohhhh!!! I love this game! What if you get to 140 lbs! What if you feel better than you ever have in your life! What if you look in the mirror and love what you see!! What if you finally try something crazy like sky diving or scuba diving or cave diving???? What if you never ever have diabetes, or hypertension or high cholesterol. Or!!! If you have some of those....What if they go away? Crazy!

BIG BIG HUGS!

It's super hard to curb the anxiety prior to surgery and after surgery you'll have all new anxieties! Yay! My own surgeon told me I could stop choking myself while he made his final preparations before I went to sleep. Apparently my hands were around my neck I was so scared. In reality I was so terrified I could hardly breathe! You'll probably be scared too. Everyone will tell you not to be including yourself. But hey, it is scary, right? You're taking a risk, but it's such a wonderful risk to take with such wonderful potential for a better life ahead. I say it's okay to be scared and to worry. You're going to lose some shut eye from time to time. Do everything you can to understand what worries you, try to focus on what excites you, and then be okay about being worried.

Wow. This reply breathed life into me today. My surgery is tomorrow and I have been nearly panicked for about 24 hours now with a host of what ifs. Thanks for reminding me of the positive what ifs too.

[diabladepaz 42]

I totally relate to this. I don't have a surgery date yet but am scheduling it this week and will most likely get sleeved in November. During the day I peruse Instagram before and afters and find myself feeling excited and inspired. I look at items in my closet that don't fit now and feel hopeful about wearing them again. I fantasize about being more physically active next summer -- more hiking, kayaking, stand up paddle boarding. But then at night, I become so scared and anxious. I have had nightmares about things going wrong in surgery and in the dream I'm dying and apologizing to my husband for leaving him alone with a two year old who won't have a mother. The disconnect between what I feel during the day and my subconscious anxiety at night is surreal. I am trying to meditate and seek reassurance where I can. I wish I could just have the surgery already so that I could stop feeling afraid and move into action. I appreciate this forum and your experiences. Reading your stories reminds me I am not alone.

[glenna18 11]

This is 100% normal. I was the exact same way. I almost talked myself out of surgery. I mean, I lost 63 pounds pre-op. But I've lost 100+ pounds twice in the past. I can definitely lose weight but I need serious help keeping it off.

I was excited but really nervous. Now I'm excited and super happy I had it done. Like others, Just wish I'd had it done sooner!

[Letsgetgoing2018 448]

Feeling scared and anxious is totally normal. I almost talked myself out of the surgery I was so scared but the kind people on these boards talked some sense into me and calmed me down. I was sleeved July 10th and am doing great. Best decision ever. You will have moments where you are afraid but move forward and think positive. The best is yet to come!

[Oct517 527]

Thank you everyone! I'm feeling a lot better today thankfully.

[jultrim18 132]

I felt the exact same way. I actually thought I was waiting for my death; like I was choosing to kill myself by doing this surgery. I had my surgery on August 17th. I just forced myself because I knew I had to because I hated myself. Once in the hospital, I felt so safe and calm. I kept telling my doctors I was scared, and they helped me. You will be fine!! This surgery is performed all the time! You’ll do great!!!

[Oct517 527]

I just want to thank everyone again who commented on this post! Everytime I've started to get nervous lately, I just come back here and read these comments and it makes me feel better.

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