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How are you treated by your mate!!!

holly7744

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Creekimp13    5,841

Creekimp13
Posted

In our seminar we were told that bariatric surgery makes good relationships better and troubled relationships worse. (not saying your relationship is bad....just saying that it does seem to bring existing issues to the surface and demand that they be addressed)

There's a reason bariatric surgery is often coined "divorce surgery"....because it does seem to be the catalyst of the end of relationships in a lot of circumstances.

It could be his insecurity at the idea of you being more fit and attractive, it could be that he's attached to your old eating habits and doesn't want to change them, could be a lot of changes that come with doing something positive for yourself....assertiveness, confidence, outspokenness, interest in doing more, etc.

Regardless of what's going on....I would take it seriously and work on it. Have the hard discussions. Figure out if you need some counseling to help sort through it....it never hurts.

Best wishes!

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holly7744    8

holly7744
Posted

In our seminar we were told that bariatric surgery makes good relationships better and troubled relationships worse. (not saying your relationship is bad....just saying that it does seem to bring existing issues to the surface and demand that they be addressed)
There's a reason bariatric surgery is often coined "divorce surgery"....because it does seem to be the catalyst of the end of relationships in a lot of circumstances.
It could be his insecurity at the idea of you being more fit and attractive, it could be that he's attached to your old eating habits and doesn't want to change them, could be a lot of changes that come with doing something positive for yourself....assertiveness, confidence, outspokenness, interest in doing more, etc.
Regardless of what's going on....I would take it seriously and work on it. Have the hard discussions. Figure out if you need some counseling to help sort through it....it never hurts.
Best wishes!
Thank-you


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Sleeved36    356

Sleeved36
Posted

So sorry. Try to get him to express what he is feeling. He could just be scared of change or insecure. Or worried you will make him change too. Or worried you will stop cooking.

Could be all kinds of things. Good luck!

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RapidFirePickle    119

RapidFirePickle
Posted

We've been best friends for 31 years, a couple for 27 years, and married for 23. We've been through a lot in our relationship, but always come out stronger on the other side. He's been very supportive and loving. I am sorry that your partner is having a hard time dealing with this process, but you need a better situation. Maybe couples counseling would help?

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laurileet    86

laurileet
Posted

My husband was supportive before surgery. But what I didn't realize is how nervous he was about it all. Turns out, he was thinking of his Mother then entire time. Years ago she had gone in for a breast reduction, and had a stroke on the table. Her health went steadily downward from there until she pass several years later. He had that on the brain, but didn't share it with me beforehand. I found out from other family members AFTER my sleeve was done. Try to get your other 1/2 to share what they're feeling. You may be completely surprised why they are acting they way they are.

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Beardman    52

Beardman
Posted

Well, my wife and I had our vsgs a month apart so it's been great to have full support. I can imagine that had I not gone through the process it might have been more difficult.

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CalGuy64    66

CalGuy64
Posted

WLS can really change relationships. My ex-wife had WLS six years ago. Her surgery was very successful (522lbs to 165lbs). Once her weight stabilized she had several reconstructive plastic surgeries. Shortly thereafter she asked for a divorce (I was no longer her best option).

I had my surgery last year and have lost about 115lbs. The way women interact with me has totally changed. This includes my ex-wife who I still have to talk to since we parent our kids jointly.

All this has actually lowered my already problematic estimation of most people.

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Seahawks Fan    771

Seahawks Fan
Posted (edited)

On 6/17/2018 at 11:58 AM, holly7744 said:

I've been with the same guy for 20 years we have 4 kids. Never married. I'm 11 days to my sleeve. Ever since I started this journey he has treated me like crap. Any one else going through this.

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Yes! Me.

Edited by Seahawks Fan

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Seahawks Fan    771

Seahawks Fan
Posted

53 minutes ago, holly7744 said:

Are you in wa

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Yes I am.

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Seahawks Fan    771

Seahawks Fan
Posted

2 minutes ago, holly7744 said:

So am i.

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I’m in Spokane.

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Jdesmond73    138

Jdesmond73
Posted

I hope your guy comes around and am sorry to hear that he has not been supportive. I am blessed to have an amazingly supportive Wife. She encouraged me to have the surgery about a Year before I finally pulled the trigger and has been amazing throughout the whole process

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Go To Topic Listing Gastric Sleeve Surgery Forums

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        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

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    • Doughgurl

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      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
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      1. Selina333

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