Fear of death?

[Love2Travel816 24]

Ugh.

I've been doing great with mentally preparing for this surgery and life afterwards until literally LAST NIGHT when I started to feel anxiety about it. What if something happens when I'm having the surgery? I don't want to leave my seven year old, etc, etc etc.

The logical side of me knows that death is so unlikely but I still worry about something happening.

Anyone else feeling this way?

[Matt Z 4,139]

Just now, Love2Travel816 said:

Ugh.

I've been doing great with mentally preparing for this surgery and life afterwards until literally LAST NIGHT when I started to feel anxiety about it. What if something happens when I'm having the surgery? I don't want to leave my seven year old, etc, etc etc.

The logical side of me knows that death is so unlikely but I still worry about something happening.

Anyone else feeling this way?

This is 100% natural and expected.
I went out of my way to draft up a document with everything my wife would need to know, plus "goodbyes" just in case.
But remember, if something does happen, there is no better place than the OR for that to happen. At this point the odds are super low, but, I fully understand that even low odds doesn't mean no odds.

I justified this way. If I do nothing, how long do I really have? How much of that time is going to be useless because I can't move or am sick or some other obesity related reason? What am I to do if I have a heart attack and die? The surgery, even as a risk, lowers the risk of all the other obesity related reasons you could die. So, for the same reasons you are afraid to get the surgery, should be the reasons you are getting the surgery... for your family.

[TakingABreak 2,733]

9 minutes ago, Matt Z said:

I went out of my way to draft up a document with everything my wife would need to know, plus "goodbyes" just in case.

I did this also! Partially because there was some fear in the back of my mind about having major surgery. But the other part, was because if something did happen, my poor poor husband would be lost. He doesn't know a single password to anything. He doesn't know anything about our finances or what the first thing to do would be.

[YeahOkay31 651]

38 minutes ago, Matt Z said:

This is 100% natural and expected.
I went out of my way to draft up a document with everything my wife would need to know, plus "goodbyes" just in case.

Ditto. I wrote letters to my children and instructions for my husband on how to pay the mortgage, taxes, cells, and whatnot. Wait till they make you sign the proxy stuff--basically giving someone the power to pull the plug.

It really is normal to feel this way. We all freak out---and guess what? We are all still here. You'll do fine.

[Orchids&Dragons 9,047]

23 minutes ago, AshAsh1 said:

I did this also! Partially because there was some fear in the back of my mind about having major surgery. But the other part, was because if something did happen, my poor poor husband would be lost. He doesn't know a single password to anything. He doesn't know anything about our finances or what the first thing to do would be.

Oh, my! You great planners out there. I just winged it. And, like you, Ash, my husband doesn't know any passwords, doesn't even know the pin for the ATM. He walks into the lobby to get $. He doesn't know where on the computer I keep the financial files, hasn't looked at our taxes since we started filing electronically. Even before that he signed them blindly. Never asked about the numbers at all. I have always known I was going to die in a car accident (I really am a dreadful driver), I've even been in at least 3 accidents when my car wasn't even moving! So, dying from any other reason just doesn't process in my brain. Might be stupid and short-sighted, but there you go!

[TakingABreak 2,733]

8 minutes ago, Orchids&Dragons said:

Oh, my! You great planners out there. I just winged it. And, like you, Ash, my husband doesn't know any passwords, doesn't even know the pin for the ATM. He walks into the lobby to get $. He doesn't know where on the computer I keep the financial files, hasn't looked at our taxes since we started filing electronically. Even before that he signed them blindly. Never asked about the numbers at all. I have always known I was going to die in a car accident (I really am a dreadful driver), I've even been in at least 3 accidents when my car wasn't even moving! So, dying from any other reason just doesn't process in my brain. Might be stupid and short-sighted, but there you go!

Oh how I love your posts! My mom is the exact same way, fear of dying by car. She is CONVINCED her demise will be in the way of a motor vehicle. This doesn't stop her from driving like an a**hat.

[Mattymatt 491]

I was a volunteer EMT and I have seen people in various states of death and decline. One of my patients looked up at me and said, "I think I am going to die now." He had a DNR order so we didn't use CPR or an AED. He had a big smile on his face as he died and I knew his suffering was over. It is this patient that helped me to lose my fear of death.

[Creekimp13 5,838]

It's more logical to fear dying of an obesity related cause...than a planned surgery with prescreenings.

If you want to be afraid....be afraid of the years of your life obesity related illness will rob from you if you do not address the issue and improve your health.

This surgery is done under controlled conditions with lots of information on the table. Obesity related heart attacks, strokes and embolisms come out of no where.

You're fearing the wrong scenario. Just sayin.

[Frustr8 7,886]

I fear not death as continuing life so heavy, joints broke down and sad. The joints won't repair but maybe they will be less painful and swollen. And once this caccoon🐛 of fat cracks and crumbles away,the butterfly me will fly forth. Maybe butterflies don't live forever but,i will glitter and shine as long as i can.🎭

[Greensleevie 451]

1 hour ago, Creekimp13 said:

It's more logical to fear dying of an obesity related cause...than a planned surgery with prescreenings.

If you want to be afraid....be afraid of the years of your life obesity related illness will rob from you if you do not address the issue and improve your health.

This surgery is done under controlled conditions with lots of information on the table. Obesity related heart attacks, strokes and embolisms come out of no where.

You're fearing the wrong scenario. Just sayin.

Yes, it's puzzling to me that people fear dying from the surgery more than the terrible, life threatening diseases caused by being morbidly obese.

My dad died at 56. My mom was 67. My blood pressure without meds was as high as 170/98. I was certainly more terrified of dropping dead of a stroke or a heart attack than I was having the surgery.

Edited June 14, 2018 by Greensleevie

[catwoman7 10,948]

this isn't the same surgery that it was 20 or 30 years ago. Back then it was risky. No more - techniques and mortality rate have vastly improved. It's really become almost a routine surgery. People have died having their tonsils out. But how often does that happen, really? Almost never. Same with weight loss surgery. I'm sure you will pull through just fine!

[Creekimp13 5,838]

There are two big risks with this surgery.

The first is surgeon error with hemorrhage, particularly involving an accidental spleen injury. Pick a good surgeon. it's important. Pick a bigger hospital that handles trauma in case you need the expertise of a major blood loss event.

The other risk is blood clots after surgery causing pulmonary embolisms.

YOU HAVE TO WALK.

Get up every single hour and walk a little. Just back and forth to the bathroom in your room if it's all you can manage...but GET UP. This prevents the vast majority of clots and embolisms. If you're feeling good...walk the ward. Every hall you roam metabolizes the anesthetic out, gets rid of trapped gas and helps you feel better sooner.

Your three jobs after surgery:

1. Walk a little every hour you are awake.

2. Blow in your spirometer frequently as directed so you don't get pneumonia.

3. Sip, sip, sip as directed your clear fluids. (one ounce every 15 minutes before you leave the hospital)

Take these three jobs seriously. Write them down, keep a chart, and be vigilant.

And when you get home? Keep it up. Don't sleep half the day away. Keep your naps under an hour so you're getting your fluids in every hour. If you want to sleep more, that's ok, but wake up and drink a little every half hour or so. Go for a walk to the bathroom. Ideally, you want to keep sipping and moving as much as possible that first week. Too much bed rest increases risk of deadly pulmonary embolism.

[Frustr8 7,886]

Instead of worrying about leaving your 7 year n old think I of how,much healthier a parent you are going to be. You are showing your 7year old when you have a problem you don't foldbup, you tackle,it, you get it fixed and you move on. Instead of limply dying you are choosing, you embrace it and make it your own. Proud of you for doing this, you are a good committed parent now and for the future! You ARE,from the Shoe Me State, show me how it's down!😛

[Love2Travel816 24]

32 minutes ago, Frustr8 said:

Instead of worrying about leaving your 7 year n old think I of how,much healthier a parent you are going to be. You are showing your 7year old when you have a problem you don't foldbup, you tackle,it, you get it fixed and you move on. Instead of limply dying you are choosing, you embrace it and make it your own. Proud of you for doing this, you are a good committed parent now and for the future! You ARE,from the Shoe Me State, show me how it's down!😛

Oh my gosh. You. Thanks!

[Love2Travel816 24]

19 hours ago, Creekimp13 said:

It's more logical to fear dying of an obesity related cause...than a planned surgery with prescreenings.

If you want to be afraid....be afraid of the years of your life obesity related illness will rob from you if you do not address the issue and improve your health.

This surgery is done under controlled conditions with lots of information on the table. Obesity related heart attacks, strokes and embolisms come out of no where.

You're fearing the wrong scenario. Just sayin.

Absolutely. You're 100% correct.

I know and totally understand how ridiculous it is for me to have these fears when the benefits SO GREATLY outweigh the minimal risk but it's still something that's there, ever so slightly reminding me that I am taking a risk. Still, as I said, totally worth it.