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You’re too thin



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I keep having family members and others say some varieant of “you’re too thin”. Everything from don’t lose too much because you’ll get discouraged (??? Wtf does that mean) to it’s not healthy to be any thinner. It’s like they’re threatened by my sudden change or something and are inventing reasons why I need to stop. It’s not just other overweight people. Someone asked why I lost weight as if the health benefits weren’t enough....

Fat culture is so weird... I enjoy meeting new people who don’t know my history, it’s so refreshing to not even have weight be part of the conversation.

Edited by Losebig

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They don't like or fear you changing from Too Big to Pretty Fine. These are my assessments based on the fact, I have lived forever and am older than anyone else unless you count Moses or Methuselah on BP.
Some people could control you and shape your thinking by constantly depreciate and degrediating your poundage.
You are changing and they fear you won't have time for them anymore, they knew Too Big who is this Pretty Fine chick or dude?
You are rocking what they thought was stable to its foundation, what if it topples and they get crushed?
They like to point out you never did anything right before, why would you start now? This is how my paternal relatives have treated me as far back as I can remember. See not only am I for,my skin color, eye color a2nd even my hair color differs from theirs. There was even some muttering among older family members I must have been the result of my late mother having an affair. Imagine an ostrich with strawberry blonde hair being parachuted into a flock of crows who all looked the same. Yep, that's how it was!
I yearned to be accepted for me, sounds like at least in theory my mother's people loved me? Nope, I was told by a cousin on that side because I am mildly autistic, until Psychiatry/Psychology I was what be classified as a female Asperger, and we were considered not to exist until Temple Grandin, we weren't as loud and noticeable as our male brothers, we tried to downplay our feelings to try "fitting in" and being under the radar of life. Ok Mama's side thought I was weird, their name, I always felt I was pretty nice inside.
Glaring example- when Mama died rest of family had wake to mourn her. I didn't know about it so of course I wasn't invited.
Danny, cousin who told me they thought I was "weird" asked my mother's youngest brother Harlan where is Frustr8(, not my real name but I use it here.) Uncle says Now that Sarah Lou is dead we'll never have to look at her again! Said uncle is even a clergyman and co-officianted at Mama's funeral.
Now do you see why I cried myself to sleep every night because no one loved me and engourged myself on food every day because Mr Refrigerator and Me Panty Shelf accepted me and didn't make fun of Little Frustr8.
Oh I have grown past most of those years of sorrow but it took time and therapy to do it. That is why I didn't fear Dr Kramer my bariatric program's staff psychologist, what could he do that hadn't been donein the name of Love? Actually he reassured me my autistic ability to center on something that interested me to the exclusion of other topics, I could use this for absolute perfection at Bariatrics.
True story, my friend Jacob, Violets son , is also,on the spectrum. After meeting him. he turned to Violet and said Mommy,she likes me for me! Yes I maybe highly verbal but I am still a Spectrum Sister and much more understanding that the Neurotypical world outside is. Sorry, I really didn't mean to get on my soap box but I feel intently about this subject and speak up for those who can't verbalize!***😜***

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@Frustr8 I'm starting to think you're the only normal one in your gene pool. Kinda like Daryl Hannah in "Clan of the Cave Bear"

@Losebig Give them some time. Our instincts tell us that someone losing a lot of weight quickly is bad. Even if people know about your surgery, they still see your cheeks sunken in (I know that's what we wanted, but still) our skin hangs a bit loose for a while, maybe even some Hair loss. They are not prepared for that. They'll have to get used to the new you. In the meantime, they will constantly walk around with their foot in their mouth and their head up their collective butts.

Edited by Orchids&Dragons

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I definitely know what you're talking about, OP. Even before my surgery people were telling me not to lose too much weight. Like... what? No. I'll lose as much as I need to be healthy and confident.

Sent from my SM-G955U using BariatricPal mobile app

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Luckily I’m one of those people who is extremely strong willed and never really cared or worked about what others thought (even since I was a little kid), so it more baffles me than causes any real issue. Just weird how people are. I just think people don’t like change.

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They definitely don't! But... they'll get over it. I just hate when people think they have a say about my body.

Sent from my SM-G955U using BariatricPal mobile app

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