IT Tech Exams, Been Trying to Pass These Sense 2014

today I took the second part of the A-plus exam 902. I passed the 901 after one try. CompTIA is the exam company that it's taken through. I've been studying for this test since 2014 took the 801 two times failed it got closer each time to a passing grade until they retired the 800 series and 900 came out. Read texts books for both 800 and 900 series tests. for a year and a half I've been interning for a computer company and helping them fix computers, I've lost count of how many I've built from the ground up or salvaged for new parts etc.

This is the first time taking the 902 exam and I was 20 points shy of passing...I'm crushed have been sobbing my eyeballs out and will be 'graduated' out of the Wilson program I am in with a certificate saying I have time served but no certification for a plus.

900 is retired this summer, at the moment I am saving up to retake the 902 hopefully before they retire the 900 and go to the 1000 series exams. I am so exhausted I've not been employed for a very long time paid steady employment. I have high functioning autism, I work my ass off volunteer when I can at my church on Mondays. I've cried out to God to show me which way to go, to continue to push through this or give up. I don't know when to quit, I keep going. I've spent personally 500 plus on exam prep stuff, and counting if I save up for the second test retake is 215.

Do I quit? Do I keep trying? What the hell? I can't cry anymore...I'm confused and just breaking down, the fact that I've recently adjusted to my anti-depressants when my body is doing wonky adjusting this has pushed me over the edge and I don't care that it has.