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logically speaking, I know I have eating issues



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which is how I ended up where I am today. so if I know logically what I should and shouldn't eat, why do I still overeat? I think I have a legit fear of being hungry, like if I don't eat this now, it might not be here later or if I don't eat now while food is available, I will be hungry later on. I feel like if I don't "fix" these issues before my surgery then I'm going to fail. So much over thinking going on right now. My surgery is coming up in August and I want to start making sustainable routines now. I'm just not sure where to start

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43 minutes ago, saltyjules said:

which is how I ended up where I am today. so if I know logically what I should and shouldn't eat, why do I still overeat? I think I have a legit fear of being hungry, like if I don't eat this now, it might not be here later or if I don't eat now while food is available, I will be hungry later on. I feel like if I don't "fix" these issues before my surgery then I'm going to fail. So much over thinking going on right now. My surgery is coming up in August and I want to start making sustainable routines now. I'm just not sure where to start

try this mental game. when you feel hungry start the timer on your phone and dont eat for 1 hour. during that hour drink a bottle of Water. lots of "hunger" is dehydration.

When you do eat put a small amount of food in your mouth then put down the fork or spoon and do not pick up again until you have finished chewing and swallowed. place your hands in your lap during this process.

this will help post surgery and you can work on the habit now.

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1 hour ago, saltyjules said:

which is how I ended up where I am today. so if I know logically what I should and shouldn't eat, why do I still overeat? I think I have a legit fear of being hungry, like if I don't eat this now, it might not be here later or if I don't eat now while food is available, I will be hungry later on. I feel like if I don't "fix" these issues before my surgery then I'm going to fail. So much over thinking going on right now. My surgery is coming up in August and I want to start making sustainable routines now. I'm just not sure where to start

We understand your concern. Most of us have the same problem. Don't box yourself into a corner thinking that you've got to have everything figured out before surgery. This is an on-going process of learning and behavior modification. In some ways, our new "tool" is the teacher, i.e. dumping or foamies UGH! In addition, find local support groups. Mine has a speaker every month and lots of people with whom to discuss the ins and outs of life after surgery. Start going to those meetings now. Take advantage of every learning opportunity provided by your doctor's office. You never know when an "aha!" moment might hit!

Most of all, if your insurance covers it, try going to a counselor that specializes in eating disorders. It's even better if you can find one with bariatric experience. I plan on seeing a counselor to work through my food issues, because, like you said, that's how I got here.

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Practicing eating mindfully and making small changes to start was really helpful to me. I found the book by Michelle May, Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat for Binge Eating, to be very useful. There is a companion workbook for people having Bariatric surgery.


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Also books by Geneen Roth.

A lot of overeating is unmet needs, lack of confidence, anxiety, fear. We are self-soothing in order to gain some 'calmness' or 'numb our feelings' (to avoid facing an issue).

We are all a work in progress, all day every day - the only way to improve is to start.

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You're so smart! I wish all people who were having WLS would ponder such things before having surgery. Otherwise, we wouldn't have an almost 50% regain rate after surgery. I think you're already ahead of the game by understanding that taking most of our stomach doesn't mean our brains and emotions go along with it ;-). Sounds to me you are going to do just great, especially if you can find some support to help you deal with some of those feelings.

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thanks for all the replies. I'm definitely a compulsive eater and even being aware of it, it's hard to control! but I'm working on it, baby steps

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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