Why are we so quick to call “bully?” By it’s very definition it’s very difficult to bully on an internet board—

“Bullying is the use of force, threat, or coercion to abuse, intimidate or aggressively dominate others.

The behavior is often repeated and habitual. One essential prerequisite is the perception, by the bully or by others, of an imbalance of social or physical power, which distinguishes bullying from conflict.

Behaviors used to assert such domination can include verbal harassment or threat, physical assault or coercion, and such acts may be directed repeatedly towards particular targets. Rationalizations of such behavior sometimes include differences of social class, race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, appearance, behavior, body language, personality, reputation, lineage, strength, size or ability.”

Is it because we are primed to see it because of our history?

That is all.

Because it's another "me too" thing that is going around. You disagree with someone. You dare to voice an opinion or get animated or passionate about a topic or in stating your case that is in opposition to the opinion of the someone else, and everyone who's received a participation trophy for taking part in anything including life, decides to holler, "Bully!" "Bully!"

It's the word of the day.

In my youth, the word of the day was "groovy." And I grew up in a world of suck-it-up-buttercup, life doesn't revolve around you. LOL. So two different worlds.

Sigh.

(Great post by the way.)

Edited April 27, 20188 yr by FluffyChix

11 minutes ago, jess9395 said:

Why are we so quick to call “bully?” By it’s very definition it’s very difficult to bully on an internet board—

“Bullying is the use of force, threat, or coercion to abuse, intimidate or aggressively dominate others.

The behavior is often repeated and habitual. One essential prerequisite is the perception, by the bully or by others, of an imbalance of social or physical power, which distinguishes bullying from conflict.

Behaviors used to assert such domination can include verbal harassment or threat, physical assault or coercion, and such acts may be directed repeatedly towards particular targets. Rationalizations of such behavior sometimes include differences of social class, race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, appearance, behavior, body language, personality, reputation, lineage, strength, size or ability.”

Is it because we are primed to see it because of our history?

That is all.

What did I miss? lol catch me up...

13 minutes ago, jenn1 said:

What did I miss? lol catch me up...

Me, too (but not #metoo)

Cyber bullying is another animal completely...

1 hour ago, jess9395 said:

Why are we so quick to call “bully?” By it’s very definition it’s very difficult to bully on an internet board—

“Bullying is the use of force, threat, or coercion to abuse, intimidate or aggressively dominate others.

The behavior is often repeated and habitual. One essential prerequisite is the perception, by the bully or by others, of an imbalance of social or physical power, which distinguishes bullying from conflict.

Behaviors used to assert such domination can include verbal harassment or threat, physical assault or coercion, and such acts may be directed repeatedly towards particular targets. Rationalizations of such behavior sometimes include differences of social class, race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, appearance, behavior, body language, personality, reputation, lineage, strength, size or ability.”

Is it because we are primed to see it because of our history?

That is all.

Is it because we are primed to see "bullying" because of our history? There is a difference between opposing opinion, trolling and cybercrime. People label bully to many situations.

I can see bullying by your definition happening online -

• Domestic violence victims being stalked online by their perpetrators.
• Courtroom witnesses being intimidated by people on there social mediaccounts. Reading threatening post to coerce them to not testify.
• Children being groomed/preyed on by sexual predators. (https://www.bark.us/blog/grooming-signs-sexual-predators/)

I tend to agree that a lot of labels are flying around too loosely defined and used to sensationalize nearly everything to such an extent that real events involving crimminal activity get ignored or lumped in with a total non-event.

2 hours ago, FluffyChix said:

Because it's another "me too" thing that is going around. You disagree with someone. You dare to voice an opinion or get animated or passionate about a topic or in stating your case that is in opposition to the opinion of the someone else, and everyone who's received a participation trophy for taking part in anything including life, decides to holler, "Bully!" "Bully!"

It's the word of the day.

In my youth, the word of the day was "groovy." And I grew up in a world of suck-it-up-buttercup, life doesn't revolve around you. LOL. So two different worlds.

Sigh.

(Great post by the way.)

I guess I grew up in the world of suck it up but I honestly hated that world. It turned me into a bitter and morose person. I think the world would be a better place if more of us practiced a little compassion and tried to walk a mile in the other person's shoes. I understand that we're all human and make mistakes but I think a little compassion goes a long way.

I think we just need to accept the fact that these forums have many different personality types, who have many different opinions, and are following the advice of many different doctors, who have vastly different life experiences, who have widely different diplomacy skills, with major differences in culture, age, education and support.

If there was only one way to lose weight successfully, even within the surgical realm, we'd all have done it and we'd all have the same result. But we don't. We all have asked a lot of questions; some are brilliant, some are brain burps. Generally, if someone is taking the time to post a reply to a thread, I believe they are trying to be helpful.

All we can do is try to help each other out, share victories and be supportive during struggles. Hugs to all.

p.s. for you good grammarians out there - I realize that was one hum-dinger of a run-on sentence!

Edited April 27, 20188 yr by Orchids&Dragons

Cyber bullying is another animal completely...

“Cyberbullying or cyberharassment is a form of bullying or harassment using electronic means.

Cyberbullying and Cyberharassment are also known as online bullying. It has become increasingly common, especially among teenagers.

Cyberbullying is when someone, typically teens, bully or harass others on social media sites. Cyberbullying allows bullies to easily and anonymously harass victims online. They do this by flaming, harassing, outing, exclusion, impersonation, and stalking.

Harmful bullying behavior can include posting rumors, threats, sexual remarks, a victims' personal information, or pejorative labels (i.e., hate speech).

Bullying or harassment can be identified by repeated behavior and an intent to harm.”

Still not what I’m seeing here

Is it because we are primed to see "bullying" because of our history? There is a difference between opposing opinion, trolling and cybercrime. People label bully to many situations.
I can see bullying by your definition happening online -

• Domestic violence victims being stalked online by their perpetrators.
• Courtroom witnesses being intimidated by people on there social mediaccounts. Reading threatening post to coerce them to not testify.
• Children being groomed/preyed on by sexual predators. (https://www.bark.us/blog/grooming-signs-sexual-predators/)

But bullying is always about difference in power. By definition. That doesn’t exist here on this board.

And it’s almost always about a repeated pattern so when people call in about a single post that’s crying wolf to me.

What did I miss? lol catch me up...

Just happens all the time on here. Wasn’t a big ol blowup this time, but it’s just silly. People over react.

I get the suck it up generation and I’m not there either but there’s an in between.

I tend to agree that a lot of labels are flying around too loosely defined and used to sensationalize nearly everything to such an extent that real events involving crimminal activity get ignored or lumped in with a total non-event.

Yes!!!! And to me that’s not fair to the REAL victims!

47 minutes ago, jess9395 said:

But bullying is always about difference in power. By definition. That doesn’t exist here on this board.

And it’s almost always about a repeated pattern so when people call in about a single post that’s crying wolf to me.

It's all in the intent and interpretation....Right? The site moderators have to figure that out..lol

Wow, I missed drama on the board..lol Someone has reported a post as bullying...??? Sounds like we are back to the days of lipstick lady...or am I wrong?

And on Bariatric Pal,whether you are pre or post- surg. Hopefully never because of sleeve vs. bypass, because there are always room for everybody on here.

Is someone being bullied on this site? Everyones been so helpful and nice who comes to a support group tp bully?

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