Why are we so quick to call “bully?” By it’s very definition it’s very difficult to bully on an internet board—

“Bullying is the use of force, threat, or coercion to abuse, intimidate or aggressively dominate others.

The behavior is often repeated and habitual. One essential prerequisite is the perception, by the bully or by others, of an imbalance of social or physical power, which distinguishes bullying from conflict.

Behaviors used to assert such domination can include verbal harassment or threat, physical assault or coercion, and such acts may be directed repeatedly towards particular targets. Rationalizations of such behavior sometimes include differences of social class, race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, appearance, behavior, body language, personality, reputation, lineage, strength, size or ability.”

Is it because we are primed to see it because of our history?

That is all.

I don't think anyone is currently bullying. Rather it's just an open discussion. I think we all get really heated when it comes to discussion and we have to remember to be compassionate towards others. We're all struggling, more or less, from the same affliction of being (or having been) morbidly obese. A little bit of compassion goes a long way. I challenge folks to use compassion instead of bluntness to get a point across. I include myself as well.

Just seems so counter productive to even be in a head space to be a bully in this supportive environment

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once upon a time ago on BP I was, someone mistook my helpfulness as an intrusion. Long time ago, I've moved on, doesn't happen often , if it did Alex the head guy on Bariatric Pal wouldn't allow,it. He is our founder and I have up most respect for his staff and Him. This is by far the best network around, I've been on a few others but they were not,ran as nice or contained as nice a people.

6 minutes ago, Ivy Joel said:

Just seems so counter productive to even be in a head space to be a bully in this supportive environment

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Sometimes when one is not feeling so good about themselves, they pick on the weakness of someone else out of personal frustration. This is the way it has been throughout time. I know when I am feeling down and despondent I have to actually work to prevent the mean, angry, and sarcastic Matty from coming out. It's not a side of me that I like but sometimes I am human and it comes out but I will always apologize for this because, again, I don't want to be known as an a*****e.

Edited April 28, 20188 yr by Mattymatt

Why is what I said above funny? I am very serious. There is enough meanness out in the world.

I dont think i laughed? I pressed like

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1 minute ago, Ivy Joel said:

I dont think i laughed? I pressed like

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The emoticon came up as a laugh. Oh well, no worries. I was simply wondering if I had said something stupid.

Nope nothing stupid about being a nice person.

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I don't like to get political but Donald Trump actually inspires me to do just the opposite of what he does. Every time I hear him smear someone's name, I am even more motivated to do something kind for someone else. I understand the world can be a big, bad place but it doesn't mean that we need to become desensitized to it. I really object to the snowflake meme and telling people they should suck it up. No, maybe we could do a better job being good, decent, charitable human beings instead of stepping on each other to get ahead. Again, I take a heaping teaspoon of my own medicine.

I will only say this once, on this very positive and inclusive site, but Donald Trump is the epitome of hate and greed and just an all around BULLY.

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Is someone being bullied on this site? Everyones been so helpful and nice who comes to a support group tp bully?

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No someone is accusing someone of bullying for speaking bluntly.

To be clear I don’t believe bullying is happening. I believe people are using the word inappropriately.

5 hours ago, jess9395 said:

“Cyberbullying or cyberharassment is a form of bullying or harassment using electronic means.

Cyberbullying and Cyberharassment are also known as online bullying. It has become increasingly common, especially among teenagers.

Cyberbullying is when someone, typically teens, bully or harass others on social media sites. Cyberbullying allows bullies to easily and anonymously harass victims online. They do this by flaming, harassing, outing, exclusion, impersonation, and stalking.

Harmful bullying behavior can include posting rumors, threats, sexual remarks, a victims' personal information, or pejorative labels (i.e., hate speech).

Bullying or harassment can be identified by repeated behavior and an intent to harm.”

Still not what I’m seeing here

I have seen it happen here

I have seen it happen here

Targeted flaming/harassment/impersonation/exculsion?

Rumors/threats/impersonation/disclosing personal information?

Stalking?

If so report it. It will get the person banned. If not, it’s not cyber bullying. It’s perhaps being blunt or not tactful or even downright mean, but it’s not bullying.

Mean does not equal bullying. Bullying is about an imbalance of power and exploiting that.

12 hours ago, Tealael said:

I have seen it happen here

What I have seen - The person has great reputation for being a positive contributor to the site. This has not been a pattern of their posts. It comes down to intent and interpretation. I think that is why I am shocked to see them accused bullying.