Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Has anyone else experienced this?



Recommended Posts

I'm new to the forum, so hello to all. What I'm experiencing in the lead up to the surgery is a distancing from my husband. He's on board for the surgery now, but he's being clingy and everything he does annoys me, and I can't handle it anymore. I'm finding I'm more and more unhappy in my marriage, and fantasizing about going this alone. Is this something normal or am I experiencing something I should talk to a therapist about?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm new to the forum, so hello to all. What I'm experiencing in the lead up to the surgery is a distancing from my husband. He's on board for the surgery now, but he's being clingy and everything he does annoys me, and I can't handle it anymore. I'm finding I'm more and more unhappy in my marriage, and fantasizing about going this alone. Is this something normal or am I experiencing something I should talk to a therapist about?

I understand this feeling. Hopefully it's just a rut and nothing more. Being married for so long. ...just creates ruts. You have to work to get past them. Speaking to a therapist may not be a bad idea.

Sent from my SM-G950U using BariatricPal mobile app

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

https://www.healthcentral.com/article/divorce-rate-after-bariatric-surgery-is-high-my-bariatric-life

https://www.reuters.com/article/us-health-obesity-surgery-relationships/weight-loss-surgery-tied-to-increases-in-divorces-marriages-idUSKCN1HA2G6

There's a reason bariatric surgery is often called "divorce surgery"

It can make a good marriage better...but it can amplify problems in a troubled marriage.

Can be a tough time for couples, for sure.

Edited by Creekimp13

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This is pretty normal. Relationships have ups and downs and many reach a logical end point. When everything that a partner does annoys you, that logical end point has probably already been reached. It doesn't sound like you choosing to have weight loss surgery is really a factor in your feelings here.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I recommend if you are having these questions that it wouldn't hurt to speak with someone.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

He may be feeli,g this also.As you get closer to surgery, feeling your inner strength to go through with this commitment, he may feel you are distancing yourself from him. You don't need or even want him anymore. Men aren't raised to talk things out, they are pushed to just suck,it up and go on with life. Maybe he feels with you so centered on weight loss and surgery that you have,nothing in common anymore. And you feel,if. he doesn't have your back, doesn't want,to,emotionally support you, you feel the need to find someone or something v that will. Those are my thoughts and insights from a couple 100 miles south in Ohio.😜 God Bless and Watch over You Both😜

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • ChunkCat

      Thank you everyone for your well wishes! I totally forgot I wrote an update here... I'm one week post op today. I gained 15 lbs in water weight overnight because they had to give me tons of fluids to bring my BP up after surgery! I stayed one night in the hospital. Everything has been fine except I seem to have picked up a bug while I was there and I've been running a low grade fever, coughing, and a sore throat. So I've been hydrating well and sleeping a ton. So far the Covid tests are negative.
      I haven't been able to advance my diet past purees. Everything I eat other than tofu makes me choke and feels like trying to swallow rocks. They warned me it would get worse before it gets better, so lets hope this is all normal. I have my follow up on Monday so we'll see. Living on shakes and soup again is not fun. I had enough of them the first time!! LOL 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Still purging all of the larger clothing. This morning, a shirt that I ADORED wearing ended up on top. Hard to let it go, but it was also hard to let go of those habits that also no longer serve my highest good. Onward and upward!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Onedayatatime365

      Looking to connect with others who are also on the journey of better health. Post-Op Gastric Sleeve (4/11/24).
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • jparadigm

      Happy Wednesday!
       
      I hope everyone is having a lovely week so far! 
      It's been a bit of a struggle this last week...I'm hungry ALL the time.
      · 1 reply
      1. BlondePatriotInCDA

        Have a great Wednesday too! Sorry you're hungry all the time, I'm pretty much the same..and I'm sick of eating the same food all the time.

    • ChunkCat

      Well, tomorrow I go in for an impromptu hiatal hernia repair after ending up in the ER over the weekend because I couldn't get food down and water was moving at a trickle... I've been having these symptoms on and off for a few weeks but Sunday was the worst by far and came with chest pain and trouble breathing. The ER PA thinks it is just esophagitis and that the surgeon and radiologist are wrong. But the bariatric surgeon swears it is a hernia, possibly a sliding one based on my symptoms. So he fit me into his schedule this week to repair it! I hope he's right and this sorts it out. He's going to do a scope afterwards to be sure there is nothing wrong with the esophagus. Here's hoping it all goes well!!
      · 4 replies
      1. AmberFL

        omgsh!! Hope all goes well!! Keeping you in my thoughts!

      2. gracesmommy2

        Hope you’re doing well!

      3. NickelChip

        I hope it goes well! Sending positive thoughts for a speedy recovery!

      4. AmberFL

        How are you doing? any update?!

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×