I am writing this with such a heavy heart and I just ask people to please be kind in the replies. I really want to turn this around and I hope like hell it is not too late.

I have been struggling so much with binging. I am just eating whatever I want, not following any kind of healthy eating and I think I must be consuming pretty much the same calories as I consumed before surgery. I am only seven weeks post op. Here is an example of what I would eat in a day.

I am unemployed and I stay up all night and only wake up at about 1pm.

1pm: White bread sandwich with cheese and butter. (I drink water at the same time)

3pm: Leftover lasagne - 4/5 tablespoons

4pm: Half a bag of beef jerky

5pm: Glass of orange juice

7pm: Nandos takeaway, only a couple bites of chicken, half a box of spicy rice, 6/7 chips with mayo, 3/4 olives

8pm: More spicy rice

10pm: Cheese toastie

11pm: Rest of the spicy rice and a few chips and a chug of milk straight from the bottle

1am: Rest of the bag of beef jerky

2am: Chocolate ice cream in a cone

I am honestly so disgusted with myself but I had to put this out here. My dad doesn't help because he will go make me a cheese toastie if I ask for it or go buy me chocolate when I want it. I have no idea how to stop eating so much. I am so depressed and I have nothing to do with my life but no one seems to understand. This was probably the wrong time in my life to get surgery since I don't have the discipline to use it correctly but I really thought it would help me turn my life around and save me. I have still been having weight loss of 3-5 lbs a week but last week it was only 1/2 lb and this week I am sure it will be a gain.

Is there any self-help book or some kind of advice to help me turn this around before it's too late? My parents paid so much for this surgery and I am ruining it, it feels like there's nothing I can do.

Please, anyone, can you help me.

You should see the dietitian for diet advice, and a therapist to help understand the reasons for your lack of compliance with a healthy post surgical diet.

Surgery doesn't work without the lifestyle changes. Lifestyle changes can be sabotaged by emotional issues.

You need to address your diet in a meaningful way. Your choices are setting you up for problems.

Darling if any of us had the discipline we would be in need of surgery, so calm down, nothing is wrong with you. Every person struggles differently with this change of lifestyle. And if there were quickfixes we wouldn’t be here.

Some tips that helped me

1) the surgery will not save you, it’s the tool that will help you save you. So remind yourself everyday of what you want out of this. Everyday, like every day .. eating time was a good reminder time for me ( i used to look at food and literally say, you will be here tomorrow and eat what I could and what was good for me, salads still don’t count as meals but I eat them hehe)

2) define the voices. There’s brain hunger and stomach hunger, brain hunger has no end. With every craving, bring ur attention to ur stomach and see how it feels. I still do this till today and it’s 5 years .. it really helps

3) try eating every 3- 4 hours ...eat what you want but in the quantity ur stomach can, shouldn’t be more than a few bites. Give the rest away to someone in need until u figure out how much to order or cook or eat leftovers over time

4) drink clear fluids 30 minutes afternoon your meal, and onwards. But don’t mix drinking with eating. Big no no

5) remind urself that you are losing weight and enjoy it. Enjoy every ounce u let go of.

6) as much as u need to be attentive to your food intake and take responsibility for yourself; u very much need family support, they need to get on board and understand that they have a role too. Support is key

7) eliminate negative self talk.

You need to address your diet in a meaningful way. Your choices are setting you up for problems.

it's not too late to start over and save the effects of your surgery. You can do this, but you need to focus and do some research on better dietary choices.

Work on good quality protein without so much salt. Make sure you're getting 60g or Protein a day.

If you eat carbs like bread and rice, make sure to choose lower glycemic index options like whole grain bread and brown rice. White bread and white rice will set you up for rebound hunger like crazy.

Look for lower fat cheeses. If you have any pasta, try the protein or whole grain pasta. It's less of a trap for rebound hunger.

Avoid juice, it's pure sugar. Eat a half a piece of fruit instead. The fiber is good for you and you'll feel full on fewer calories.

Talk to your dietitian about what your calorie limit should be, Keep a journal of everything you eat.

Edited April 9, 20188 yr by Creekimp13

I just want to echo the advice of getting some therapy. You are actively sabotaging yourself. You have gotten this great tool, and find yourself unable to use it. You need to find out why that is.

Be grateful the NHS covers therapy, many people in other countries wouldn't be able to afford to get this kind of help. Please make good use of your benefits.

Alot of the above advice is correct, including getting some help for the emotional issues. I think though part of the problem is also boredom. Can you find a way to get into a better routine where you are not staying up all night and sleeping most of day. Is there something you can do in your day to help occupy you. Go for a walk in the morning and the afternoon even if it is just for 15 minutes. Do you read, do any craft, jigsaw puzzles, adult coloring in books - its amazing how coloring in a picture occupies your mind. try to plan things for each day anything at all you can think of no matter how small will give your mind a different focus. Changing things is really hard and looking at everything you need to do can be overwhelming, but you can do this, one step at a time just change one thing in your day. The operation is your tool and it will change your life but it needs you to make the changes and you can you definitley can just give it a go

Take the first steps TODAY!!!!

load up your favorite music into your phone, put on your sneakers and get outside! Walk to the car, walk past the car, walk to a neighbors house, walk past a neighbors house and find the next goal...

This surgery isn’t a miracle but rather a tool, set small goals daily and achieve them once you start knocking them out, one day turns to 7 and 7 turns into 30 and 30 turns into 6 months and 6 months turns into a year!

The only one that can stop your actions is yourself, I think about eating crap daily but I choose not to give in fill your stomach with energy not comfort and remove yourself from the temptation. When your hungry do not watch TV the god damn food commercials only make it worse, drink your fluids, put on a movie go wash the car, go clean around the house do something productive just DONT GIVE IN!

I hope you find the help that you need in something new other than food, find a hobby/passion you can focus on and it will make you a better person. This is a daily battle don’t think of it as anything else set your goals and let’s do this as failure cannot be an option, you know what that feels like and it SUCKS so don’t be afraid of succeeding what do you have to lose if you try?

I agree that seeing a therapist would be a good step for you. It sounds like your eating out of boredom or habit instead of actually hunger and that's where the issue lies. A therapist can help you approach your relationship with food in a healthy light.

I eat frequently throughout the day (every 2-3 hours) because that's what works best for me but I think if I ate every hour I would just feel sick. So when you get the urge to eat, ask yourself why you want to eat. Are you bored, are your craving something, just because? Then find another outlet. Go for a walk, join a gym, take up a hobby, drink a glass of water.

Also make healthier choices when you do chose to eat, go for items high in protein and low in carbs. Things like a hard boiled egg can satisfy the hunger and it's better for your than a cheese sandwich.

You can turn this around but you have to want to do it. No excuses.

I wish you the best. I was you but before the surgery. I started seeing a “life coach” it’s so much different than a therapist and she helped me more in 6 months than 20 yrs of dieting and therapist etc. i am 6 wks post op and have adopted better habits but it was hard and still is. You can do this / there will be bad days and good days don’t beat yourself up about the bad ones and learn from the good ones. [emoji177]

I am writing this with such a heavy heart and I just ask people to please be kind in the replies. I really want to turn this around and I hope like hell it is not too late.
I have been struggling so much with binging. I am just eating whatever I want, not following any kind of healthy eating and I think I must be consuming pretty much the same calories as I consumed before surgery. I am only seven weeks post op. Here is an example of what I would eat in a day.
I am unemployed and I stay up all night and only wake up at about 1pm.
1pm: White bread sandwich with cheese and butter. (I drink Water at the same time)
3pm: Leftover lasagne - 4/5 tablespoons
4pm: Half a bag of beef Jerky
5pm: Glass of orange juice
7pm: Nandos takeaway, only a couple bites of chicken, half a box of spicy rice, 6/7 chips with mayo, 3/4 olives
8pm: More spicy rice
10pm: Cheese toastie
11pm: Rest of the spicy rice and a few chips and a chug of milk straight from the bottle
1am: Rest of the bag of beef jerky
2am: chocolate ice cream in a cone
I am honestly so disgusted with myself but I had to put this out here. My dad doesn't help because he will go make me a cheese toastie if I ask for it or go buy me chocolate when I want it. I have no idea how to stop eating so much. I am so depressed and I have nothing to do with my life but no one seems to understand. This was probably the wrong time in my life to get surgery since I don't have the discipline to use it correctly but I really thought it would help me turn my life around and save me. I have still been having weight loss of 3-5 lbs a week but last week it was only 1/2 lb and this week I am sure it will be a gain.
Is there any self-help book or some kind of advice to help me turn this around before it's too late? My parents paid so much for this surgery and I am ruining it, it feels like there's nothing I can do.

Please, anyone, can you help me.

You got this. You really do. The power is within you.

Start over right now. Forget about what you did yesterday.

Everytime you start to have negative self talk, stop yourself and think about something that you love about yourself. If you can't find anything that you love about yourself, find something to be grateful for. Shifting your inner voices to something positive is huge!!!

Start journaling instead of eating and ask yourself the deeper questions that need to be asked. I have found that this journey for me is incredibly introspective. I am learning so much about myself. This is a necessary step.

When you make a bad choice, instead of beating yourself up, trying loving yourself and just being curious. Curiosity not judgement.

LOVE yourself! You are loveable!!!

Please keep us informed. You gave support here.

A big hug to you!! Kim

Do you have any way to go see a therapist or counselor? Maybe even a support group through your surgeon’s office?

I’m trying to make therapy a centerpiece of my process (I’m most likely having surgery in May). I know I’ve regained in the past because there is something that triggers the eating (either poorly or binging) more than just hunger. I know what to eat, like to cook healthy and enjoy working out, but I’ve sabotaged myself many times I’ve actually made progress over the 20+ past years. I, personally, have realized I treat food and eating the way others treat liquor or drugs. Bad day? I eat rather than going to a bar. Stressed, depressed, bored? Food will sooth and comfort me just like others may drink a bottle of wine or smoke weed. I come from a family with some alcoholics. I rarely, if ever, drink, but you should see me hunt down sugar, bread and processed food on certain days. I realized while some have no need for counseling, I can’t do this on my own and sought some professional help this time.

As karmanodrana recommended, journaling is a great first step. I’m trying to nail down what I’m feeling when I start thinking about buying or reaching for something that is not on my plan for the week to see if I can see patterns.

You can turn this around!

There have been some wonderful suggestions so far. I'd also like to suggest volunteering. Not only would it fill some of the boredom, but when you help others, you start to glow from the inside. It helps to strip the negativity away. Focus on the needs of others. If you're near a school, maybe you can help in the office or run copies for teachers, cut out letters for the bulletin board, etc. If you're near a library, see if they need help shelving books or reading to pre-schoolers. If there's a nursing home near you, I guarantee there are elderly or disabled shut-ins who would love someone to talk to, or paint their nails, or pray with them.

Good luck, we all wish you the best and truly believe that you can turn this around.

First of all, you deserve major credit for sharing the difficulty you’ve been having in so much detail. Telling on yourself can be the first and hardest step.
I would recommend telling on yourself to your surgeon or nurse, your father, and any other supports you have as well. They will want to help you.
Remind your dad that he is enabling you to self destruct. If it helps to consider your eating habits an addiction, bringing you food that is unhealthy for you is akin to giving money to a person who is addicted to drugs. It makes you feel better in the short term, but not for long.
I agree with others that volunteer work is a great way to help a person find meaning and feel more whole. Dog walking is a great option. Shelter dogs need love and need exercise, just like we do. Exercise + puppy snuggles = major endorphins!
I agree with others to set a schedule to eat. Every two hours or every four hours, whatever works for you and your program. I eat about every four hours and take 30 minutes to eat whatever I’m having. Sometimes, I set a meditation timer that plays a sound every 30-60 seconds to help me take it slow. If I want something else to eat when I’m done, it’s usually just because I want it, or I know it will taste good, not because I am hungry. I can always tell myself, “You can have that in four hours if you want” or three hours or however long it is until I can eat again. I’m telling myself not right now, not no.
I definitely agree that a therapist is a great idea. I see one. I don’t feel that I have any major depression going on or emotional disruptions, but I just went through a major life change (post op 3 weeks today). I like having someone to bounce things off of, talk to about surgery or anything I want. I started seeing her when I started getting serious about getting the sleeve. Sometimes we just chat and laugh. My therapist is a great support. And if I feel like I do go into a depression or emotional disturbance, she will be there for me.

You. Can. Do. This. You are only seven weeks in you haven’t ruined everything. Our surgical teams expect us to have challenges and are prepared to help us. Please be kind to yourself and try not to be ashamed. Be proud that you took the step to better your health with weight loss surgery. Be proud that you are able to ask for help when you need it. You can make this work.
Tomorrow is a new day. And the day after that will be too.
One of my favorite books is “12 Steps on Buddha’s Path” or something very similar to that. I don’t practice the 12 steps but the concepts in the book were very helpful to me. Basically any self help on Buddhism really led me to a calming place.
I’m early into this and I’m sure I will hit challenges that I’ll need more help with. And I hope I’ll be brave enough ask for help here and with my team, like you are doing. Focus on the end goal, but take it little by little. Try to make better choices every day! [emoji177]

28 minutes ago, raeraerae said:

Exercise + puppy snuggles = major endorphins!

Brilliant idea!

Also, if changing your sleep schedule is a priority, I can forward you some information on sleep hygiene. Our bodies (most people) aren’t wired to get up at 1pm and I think that might be contributing to how crummy you feel. It might help if you try to go to bed one hour earlier every week. Even if you end up at a place where you get up at 10am, I think that would make a difference. (My grandpa gets up at 10am and he’s 94. When I take him to the store, I can barely keep up, he moves so fast! Maybe there’s something to this 10am [emoji38])

Sleeveduk96, how are you doing?