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Know it all family members....



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Wonderful advice blizair. I'm going to follow it myself. It will be a hard road for me as well but I know I can do it. Thank you.

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I would ask her, “So, when and where did you get your medical degree?” You would be amazed at how quickly that shuts up most people.


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The snappy answer (because I've been on both sides I'm sorry to say)" Out of a Cracker Jack box before they stopped putting them in." But I agree some people jar your granny's preserves. Usually the ones who know the least about what you're going through have the most opinions and they are usually wrong. Keep the faith, you will do just fine.

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Would be tempting to ask your sister-in-law "If you know everything then how come you're overweight?"

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You don't need to explain yourself to her or anyone else, so stop. Living well is the best revenge.

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Don't feed into other people's negativity. Create your own serenity and know you have support right here.

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I have had some not so nice comments from people who've had WLS. Saying it didn't work for them so I shouldn't get it done. blah blah blah. I have only me to look to for the answer on what I need to do, I am my own keeper.

I will say this, no matter how much you know that some people are going to be a-holes, it still bugs you. Try to let it go as best you can!

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You will run into these types of family members and friends, they seem to be especially negative when something good happens. I try to not tell my business to them and change the subject - I even change it to be about them - make them the center of the convo - ' So I see you got your hair done, it's nice, or are those new pants.' Just be your fabulous self.

And next time you don't invite them to your new cute place and she complains just say you were keeping her anxiety level down by not inviting her to such an unsafe neighborhood.

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Most of my family and friends have been very positive about my decision, even while expressing concern. Most of their concern has come out of simply not knowing the details (which I do my best to explain) or general fear of surgery. Oh, and one friend who knows that I'm a foodie and love cooking expressed concern that she wouldn't get to partake of my culinary skills any more. :)

That said, I was really surprised by one aunt (a retired RN and wife of a doctor) who was rather negative about the idea. I explained the whys and wherefores of my decision, and listened politely as she told me it 'really only takes moving more and eating less', and then I told her I'd be sure to keep her informed about when I have my surgery and that I'd appreciate her support. We haven't discussed it since, and I don't imagine we will until after the surgery happens. In my case, I think part of it is a bit of a generational disconnect, and part of it is just that this particular aunt is and has always been a know-it-all with a stick up her butt. :D I know who I can talk to about it and who I can't. Some people are just negative-nellies because they get their jollies from it.

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When I finally told my family, my dad said “I think you should’ve done it years ago!” That wasn’t what I was expecting, at all. He is an anesthesiologist and works with a bariatric surgeon so I am getting a lot of “we see so many people gain their weight back.”

As far as in laws, I have not told them a thing bc my sister in law knows everything too. I am so hypersensitive about the weight and HATE talking about it and I overheard her telling a complete stranger, “my sister in law has been struggling with her weight...” and I wanted to dig a hole and hide.

I see a wonderful therapist who has such amazing advice for how to deal with the comments. If you see one or have access to one, they can totally help! I’m so sorry your sister in law is like that. I will say, and tho we all know this and it took years for me before it really sank in, but it is all her sh*t and you’re just the lucky one she projects it on.


Sleeved 8/7/17 HW: 256 SW: 248
CW: 188 on 3/7/18 5'7" GW: 150

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