Some second thoughts

[Mattymatt 491]

Before y'all groan and say, "Not another second thoughts posting!" hear me out a second. I am having second thoughts about going to surgery because my problem is not that I am unable to lose weight; it is that once I lose weight I have troubles in maintenance. I finally understand this but the problems are significant. I don't tell many people this but I am disabled - I have high functioning autism. While my "autieness" does not really show itself in social situations, I have trouble with some basic chores like cooking. I tend to over or undercook meals, have difficulty following recipes, and measuring ingredients properly. Skills like these are known as executive functioning and I have struggled with this all of my life. I have had success in losing weight on Meal Replacements because of the ease of making it happen. Instead of the frustrating (and ultimately wasted) experience of cooking, I could channel my energies towards getting the weight off. Instead of the profound frustration with meal preparation, I have it planned out for me and I can pretty much coast through to some degree. I was inspired to post this because I am on my second day of Optifast and loving every bit of its ease of use, so to speak. So part of me is wondering, when the root of the problem is executive functioning, why I should even undergo surgery to begin with? If I am able to follow a strict diet (which I can), wouldn't it make more sense for me to see Optifast through to goal weight and while working with a therapist and maybe finding some cooking classes? I think the executive functioning challenges might be much worse in maintenance with the severe changes in metabolism.

[Creekimp13 5,841]

Research two questions:

What percent of people who lose weight through diet and exercise alone...maintain that loss at 5 years?

What percent of people who lose weight with surgery...maintain that loss at 5 years?

At some point, it becomes necessary to surgically overcome a metabolic set-point.

I'm not saying it's impossible without surgery....but the odds are really brutal. Look into that data to make an informed decision.

Edited February 27, 2018 by Creekimp13

[FluffyChix 17,418]

Ok, I hear you and understand the problem. Thanks so much for entrusting us with your personal information.

So here's my 2 cents.

You know that most of us are big losers. We can lose like nobody's beeswax. But you also know that most or all of us have been seriously poor maintainers post weight loss. We have metabolic resistance like crazy and our bodies want us to get fat again. So we deal with a metabolic handycap in some respects.

So in my mind, there is no question that you (and I) need the surgical intervention. No more rationalization from me for me. I accepted it and did "the almost max" by getting RNY rather than sleeve.

So now let's deal with the executive functioning thing. I'm pretty sure that even at 6'4" you have been spending a crap ton of money on fast food delivery/drive thrus or pre-packaged amazeballs crap from the grocery right?

So ya have difficulty cooking. One way to address this would be to get your surgeon right now, to put you onboard with an occupational therapy program that teaches life skills (of which cooking would be a main one for you). There are all kinds of short cuts. And the good news is that cooking doesn't really require a recipe unless it's a baked goods thing--then it's as much chemistry as it is about cooking.

I'm a cook and have cooked since I was 6 years old--even professionally. I'm used to preparing and creating elaborate meals and recipes. But what do I do when I'm in "Beast Mode" for weight loss? I Occums Razor the hell out of sh*t. I keep it simple. Most suppers pre-surgery were 3-4oz of grilled or roasted lean meat, and a veg, and some kind of salad. Lunches were either a quick meat/cheese rollup with grape tomatoes, baby carrots or fruit, and easy peasy breakfasts of either Protein Drinks, my cottage cheese yogurt mess, or some kind of thrown together egg scramble.

Now days, they have pre-cooked roasted meats that are "relatively clean". There are all kinds of steamer bags of veg in frozen foods and prechopped ingredients both frozen and in the fridge section. Salads come in a box now! There are low fat and zero cal dressings that are not bad. Even avocados come peeled and sliced! eggs come boiled and peeled now. The whole super market is filled with convenience foods--some fit beautifully into our world.

So you don't technically HAVE to cook, in order to eat in a manner that will support your new tool.

But there's also a Plan B. Meal delivery services! Many can accomodate special dietary needs. You just order online and they are systematically delivered each week. I would hazard that these meal services would represent a savings over your former crap filled diet of old that got you to the 366lb ball. So if it were me, I'd spend my time as you prepare for surgery and do the 2-3 week liquid diet portion after surgery, planning on how you will procure your new "diet" food that is really more of a lifestyle than a diet. See what meal services exist in your area and what the costs are and if it will fit within your food budget. Remember, you will be eating such small amounts that each meal will represent 2-3 servings for your new anatomy--so there will be savings for you there! And guess what? No cooking involved other than nuking to rewarm!!! Score!

You can do this, Matt. I will help you as much as I can with meal plans, for free if that will help you?

I can help with shopping lists, meal plans, etc!

[kakatlady612 1,053]

Walking the Walk in this confusing world. Fluffy has some good ideas, she usually does. We can use our strengths my brother, that ability to center in and surmount. God Bless the microwave, it's so good one of us probably invented it.

Sent from my VS880PP using BariatricPal mobile app

[Sosewsue61 3,185]

Maintaining is the issue for us all - I needed the surgery for Portion Control and metabolism reset.

Matt, therapy is the way to go. And get the dietician to help you meal plan - that is what she is getting paid to do.

And Fluffy is right - you just need some guidance on shopping and badic prep. Or hire a personal shopper to go get your groceries if it's too hard to make decisions or shop by a list. There are pre-roasted chickens in every grocery store, just add steamer veg and it's done. You can get hard boiled eggs in the store and sliced cheese. You can do this.

Good luck and thanks for sharing.

[blizair09 3,250]

I lost over 100 pounds three other times in my life. My problem was never losing weight; it was getting to a more "comfortable" weight (220-250 pounds), getting happier, going back to my terrible habits, and gaining it all back plus more.

That manic/depressive cycle (plus getting to 400 pounds which had never happened before) is what led me to VSG. Even after losing 100 pounds during the six month pre-op diet program, I knew I had to do this.

For me, permanently altering my body was incentive enough to permanently change my relationship with food. I won't go back after I put my body through all of that trauma. That state of mind is worth having the surgery to me.

Think about it. It isn't a decision to be taken lightly. But my advice is, don't look for excuses. That's easy to do pre-op.

[DeeCTexas 13]

Thank you @Mattymatt for sharing. This post was so helpful to me, as were all of the responses. I am slated to have surgery Thursday, and I didn't know if I could keep it off. I don't want to fail at this. I feel like I've been on a diet my whole life and keeping it off has always been an issue. Another issue I have is that I am allergic to many artificial sweeteners. Which makes some diet food literally painful to eat - especially drink. And I just don't think it is realistic that I will only drink Water for the rest of my life. I am trying to take this step for myself, but I am terrified. I really do appreciate all of you that post regularly. I read through all the time and I've found a lot of support here. I'm hoping I can do this.

[kakatlady612 1,053]

Dee have you tried Nestle Splash Water? It comes in several flavors but no sweeteners.. I like Acai grape best.

P.S. You can and you will be a success, all of your bari-brothers and sisters have your back, we're always here for YOU!

Sent from my VS880PP using BariatricPal mobile app

[DeeCTexas 13]

Just now, kakatlady612 said:

Dee have you tried Nestle Splash Water? It comes in several flavors but no sweeteners.. I like Acai grape best.

Sent from my VS880PP using BariatricPal mobile app

I haven't but I will try anything! Even if it gives me hives! I'm just trying to find some alternate solutions. Post-op will be hard enough with the Protein Shakes but I will get those down because i have to. My allergy only produces mild hives and discomfort.

[kakatlady612 1,053]

Yeah but discomfort is no fun either, you stay easy and breezy, ya hear?

Sent from my VS880PP using BariatricPal mobile app

[Mattymatt 491]

I'd like to thank everyone for their responses. It really helped put things in perspective for me and chase those second thoughts away. @Creekimp13, you're correct, the research does not lie. It really points out that when surgery is used as a tool, the chances for long term success are an order of magnitude better. @FluffyChix That is a fantastic idea! I am going to look into an occupational therapy program. @blizair09 I am a champion of the yo-yo diet. I lost over a 100 pounds two times only to regain. Your words struck a note with me. Surgery it is going to be! When looking at it soberly, this is the best option for the rest of my life.

[blizair09 3,250]

@Mattymatt

The surgery can be the catalyst that literally changes your life. I can't even begin to capture how incredible my life is now. I had a lot going for me before, but those physical issues were always a burden and a concern. Now they aren't.

I'm literally having my 20s in my 40s. It is an amazing life.

This can be you, too if you work hard and want it bad enough!

[Mattymatt 491]

@blizair09 I am in my 40s too. I turn 41 on March 3rd. Gosh it would be great to be able to recapture a part of my life that I've essentially missed out. Your avatar pegs you for someone quite a bit younger than 40s.

[blizair09 3,250]

@Mattymatt

Thanks, man. Happy almost birthday. (My brother's birthday is March 2 and my best friend's is March 4.) I'm 42. When I was heavy, I looked about my age. Now, I can pretty easily pass for 35 or 36.

I'll be honest -- almost all of my dates and hookups these days are 22-28. I'm not even looking to date younger guys, it just seems to always work out that way. (I think it is the beard, lol.)

You'll be amazed at how quickly things change as your body changes and you gain more confidence. It is one of the most fun parts of the journey.

Thanks for the kind words!