Anyone else feel like a maid?

[MsTipps 314]

So I have finally managed to catch up on all the laundry and housework that accumulated during/following my surgery. Every day I get the kids ready for school, pack their lunches, do their homework with them. I've cooked the rest of the week's dinners and frozen them in portions for everyone in the house except me cos I still can only have liquids. I have confirmed my start date for my new job, handed my notice into the old job. Arranged to view 6 houses to be closer to the new place. As I sit here, I'm just wondering what on earth my husband is doing. I feel like a maid! Is sharing chores too much to ask! I work full time and he's currently unemployed. How is this fair??? I never get so much as a thank you and I'm getting mightily peed off!!! It's only now I'm off sick I've realised how little he does. I guess Im usually just so busy I haven't had time to notice! Am I being unreasonable here?

[Creekimp13 5,841]

I think your hubby needs to up his game. That sounds incredibly unfair.

You are not being unreasonable.

Have a heart to heart with him. I hope things improve. Take care of yourself!

[tankheadmommy 94]

So I have finally managed to catch up on all the laundry and housework that accumulated during/following my surgery. Every day I get the kids ready for school, pack their lunches, do their homework with them. I've cooked the rest of the week's dinners and frozen them in portions for everyone in the house except me cos I still can only have liquids. I have confirmed my start date for my new job, handed my notice into the old job. Arranged to view 6 houses to be closer to the new place. As I sit here, I'm just wondering what on earth my husband is doing. I feel like a maid! Is sharing chores too much to ask! I work full time and he's currently unemployed. How is this fair??? I never get so much as a thank you and I'm getting mightily peed off!!! It's only now I'm off sick I've realised how little he does. I guess Im usually just so busy I haven't had time to notice! Am I being unreasonable here?

It is very easy to get into routine and not realize how much you are doing. I would sit down with him and let him know you need help. Have a list of things in mind that you would like him to do. Men do not think like we do and it is not always on purpose. Sometimes they really do not think about doing housework, kids stuff, etc. Let him know you're tired and need his help. I did that with my husband and it worked. I did not nag him, I just told him how I was feeling. He was receptive and still is to working around the house (even though I still may have to give a reminder every once in a while).

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[Redhatgal 11]

Maybe he really doesn’t know what to do for you. You sound like a high achiever and he has never needed to help you cause you do it all. I agree, sit down with him and draw a line I the sand. “This is what I need you to do.” You may have a urge to jump in and do it yourself, but stop yourself. There was a movie years ago that compaired training a husband to training a puppy (sorry guys). It was a funny comedy with a gain of truth!

[Creekimp13 5,841]

Or maybe he's a selfish lazy jerk and needs to have some consequences for not doing his part.

Just sayin.

Lotta fish in the sea.... and many of them don't need to be babied like toddlers to do the most fundamental things.

The men I know are strong, capable and do schit on their own initiative without being begged. They're awesome people, and they think exactly how I think. You play..you pay. You do your part.

I respect men who act like adults and women who don't placate and enable infantile behavior.

Edited January 24, 2018 by Creekimp13

[KimTriesRNY 1,853]

Seems strange that you can just watch someone run around and do all these chores right after surgery and not offer any assistance. I’d be pissed off too.

Definitely time for him to pitch and help. The sad thing is you shouldn’t have to ask, or have a “talk”.

Good luck

[MsTipps 314]

Sorry folks! I just needed a good vent! I had a chat to him last night so we'll see if there's any improvements. Thank you all for giving me a friendly ear and some advice. Much appreciated xx