Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

How to tell a loved one you plan to get WLS?



Recommended Posts

My suggestion would be to be prepared to answer questions and reassure them that this is the best option for you. You might be pleasantly surprised.

I did not keep this a secret from anyone. I told everyone of any importance in my life and almost everyone has been amazingly supportive. My husband was a bit skeptical at first but once i explained it to him and he read some literature on it he has been totally on board. The only person who has been negative was my father in law and I just ignored him (he is always so negative anyway).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, VSGnewguy said:

I had my wife pick one up and pointed out that I am carrying around more than 3 of those in extra weight

I know. Bags of juicing oranges in Australia are 3kg (6.7 pounds) and usually contain 15 medium oranges.

In July, I separated 33 bags to one side of the display for my 11 year old grandson ... "That's how much I have to lose, Mitchell ... nearly 500 oranges!"

Started at 174.6kg [nearly 385 pounds] ... future goal is 74.6kg [or 164.5 pounds]. That's 495 seven-ounce oranges to lose!

GOOD NEWS: I am currently 153 oranges lighter already ... in 136 days!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I haven't told anyone I felt wouldn't be supportive. I am now post op and my on-off boyfriend still does not know, my dad does not know and no one in my extended family knows. I told my closest friends(one friend had the gastric balloon and inspired my journey so that was nice.) Other than that only my brothers and my mom know. I have polycystic ovary syndrome and delayed gastric emptying so when my coworkers ask I plan to tell them I am on hormonal pills and I told them I had reproductive surgery(that really gets people to shut up!) I feel it is no one business until I am ready to tell them. What I do plan on telling my dad eventually is, "I made this decision completely by myself because I was unhappy and unhealthy. I mentioned it to you and you were against the idea so I chose not to tell you. I only wanted people who would completely support me to know, but I did always plan on telling you. I'm sorry if my keeping this from you hurts you but ultimately this is my body and my choice and I would love your support now. This was completely about me and I honestly was not interested in letting anyone talk me out of it"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My diabetologist kept suggestion the surgery and gave me the info for the clinic. I went home and told my partner about it. I also told him that I didn't know yet if I'd do it, but I'd make an appointment for a consultation at the clinic.

The night before I left we had a long talk about it, he had a bunch of questions that I could answer already because I hate not being thoroughly informed to know what I need to ask the doctors. He said to me that this is my body and I should do what feels right for me. He loves me for me and will support me either way. I think the thing that made me realize how serious it is was when he said: "I want to grow old with you, any way you need to get there is worth seriously thinking about."

He's been supportive all the way, he reminds me of getting used to new habits like eating slowly, chewing more, not drinking during eating, as a preparation for post-OP but also because it's healthier. He was the very first I told about because this change will be something we both have to be in for. I can't do it without him having my back. Well, I could but it would be a LOT harder.

My parents know and my friends know. I wrote a blog about it, so my readers know too. Grabbing support where ever you can get it, right?

So talk with your husband, if writing a letter is easier for you than vocally talking, do that. Sometimes it's easier to do that, to be able to sort out what is going on in your mind and to structure your arguments. In the end, it is YOUR body. His support would be fantastic. He does want you around for a long time after all, right?

You can do it, keep at it!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Theweightisover2024🙌💪

      Question for anyone, how did you get your mind right before surgery? Like as far as eating better foods and just doing better in general? I'm having a really hard time with this. Any help is appreciated 🙏❤️
      · 2 replies
      1. NickelChip

        I had about 6 months between deciding to do surgery and getting scheduled. I came across the book The Pound of Cure by Dr. Matthew Weiner, a bariatric surgeon in Arizona, and started to implement some of the changes he recommended (and lost 13 lbs in the process without ever feeling deprived). The book is very simple, and the focus is on whole, plant based foods, but within reason. It's not an all or nothing approach, or going vegan or something, but focuses on improvement and aiming for getting it right 80-90% of the time. His suggestions are divided into 12 sections that you can tackle over time, perhaps one per month for a year if a person is just trying to improve nutrition and build good habits. They range from things like cutting out artificial sweetener or eating more beans to eating a pound of vegetables per day. I found it really effective pre-surgery and it's an eating style I will be working to get back to as I am further out from surgery and have more capacity. Small changes you can sustain will do the most for building good habits for life.

      2. Theweightisover2024🙌💪

        That sounds awesome. I'll have to check that out thanks!

    • BeanitoDiego

      I've hit a stall 9 months out. I'm not worried, though. My fitness levels continue to improve and I have nearly accomplished my pre-surgery goal of learning to scuba dive! One dive left to complete to get my PADI card 🐠
      I was able to go for a 10K/6mile hike in the mountains two days ago just for the fun of it. In the before days, I might have attempted this, but it would have taken me 7 or 8 hours to complete and I would have been exhausted and in pain for the next two days. Taking my time with breaks for snacks and water, I was finished with my wee jaunt in only 4 hours 😎 and really got to enjoy photographing some insects, fungi, and turtles.
      Just for fun last week, I ran two 5Ks in two days, something I would have never done in the past! Next goal is a 10K before the end of this month.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Teriesa

      Hi everyone, I wrote back in May about having no strength. I still get totally exhausted just walking from room to room, it’s so bad I’m using a walker with wheels of all things. I had the gastric sleeve Jan. 24th. I’m doing exactly what the programs says, except protein shakes. I have different meats and protein bars daily, including vitamins daily. I do drink my fluids as well.  I go in for IV hydration 4 days a week and feel ok just til evening.  So far as of Jan 1st I’ve dropped 76 lbs. I just want to enjoy the weight lose. Any suggestions or has anyone else gone thru this??  Doctor says just increase calorie intake, still the same. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Stone Art By SKL

      Decorative Wall Cladding & Panels | Stone Art By SKL
      Elevate your space with Stone Art By SKL's decorative wall claddings & panels. Explore premium designs for timeless elegance.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Clueless_girl

      Losing my hair in clumps and still dealing with "stomach" issues from gallbladder removal surgery. On the positive side I'm doing better about meeting protein and water goals and taking my vitamins, so yay? 🤷‍♀️
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×