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OMG, not losing 10/20/30 pounds per month!!! WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME??!!! (drama rant)



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Ya'll need to calm down about this. Really. Calm down. This is obsessive thinking and it's pathological. And it reads like a teen drama queen, or a desperate addict.

Soooooo many posts here......."OMG, I have ONLY lost 8 pounds since surgery 3 days ago...the world is ending!"

Then, worse.... "Someone said they lost 25 pounds in ten days and that's just impossible, they're lying because I haven't lost that much and I'm not eating anything!!!"

*Sigh*.....man, it's irritating to read this back-biting BS.

Here's a reality...

People are different. They lose at different rates. Your starting weight is a HUGE freaking factor.

If you're like 450 pounds....yes, indeed, you MIGHT lose 25 pounds.

If you're 350 pounds, you might lose 18.

If you're 250, you might lose 10

If you're under 225, you might only lose 7

AND THIS IS ALL OK. REPEAT: ITS NOT A COMPETITION. ITS ALL GOOD.

Since I'm griping, I'm gonna gripe about one more thing.

This idea that eating 500 calories a day is a GOOD thing. It's insane. There are so many folks here who go from one state of extremism (overeating) to another state of extremism (starvation).

Here's a thought....maybe, instead, you should aim for realistic healthy eating and exercise habits? You know...something that will reset your metabolism to a good, healthy, fuel burning pace.

Maybe develop new eating habits that can last a lifetime instead of starving yourself thin for a microsecond before you finally eat like a maniac and gain it all back?

Come on, folks...you didn't gain all this weight in three months. It took years. You're not going to take it all off overnight...and if you do, you're gonna lose your chance to reset your metabolism to something healthy, and instead, you'll end up with a sloth-slow starvation metabolism that will bite you in the butt when you finally do eat.

It's not a race. It's a lifetime change. Even if you get super skinny, if you don't master the lifestyle changes, you're setting yourself up for disappointment.

Be realistic. Eat. Exercise. Boost your metabolism to a healthy fuel burning furnace.

Starvation is just another eating disorder.

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Some folks may be offended or have their feelings hurt by this rant. And I get that. We're vulnerable after this surgery, and in general as fat people who are struggling. And sometimes, we wring our hands and worry and just want people to listen. But I don't read this rant as unkind at all. There's a lot of truth here that people should try and reflect on.

Everyone loses weight differently. That's one thing.

But another, very specific one is about calories. I do feel like a sizable chunk of the people fretting over not having lost enough describe themselves as eating amazingly low amounts of calories, say... 500-600. It might seem like if you would lose weight at 750 calories (or whatever number your doctor assigns you) that you should lose even more if you eat less. But that's not how metabolism works. We're playing a trick on our systems with surgery. We're lowering the level of calories we can get by on without triggering a starvation response. But even though that number is lower, that response can still happen. You may need to eat more to lose more. I had a stall a few weeks back and got out of it by shifting from 750-900 calories a day to 900-1050.

Other folks can explain with great emotion how hard they are trying, but do not actually log their intake, and so their assessment of what a great job they are doing is nothing more than a guess. People who do not even check their bank account balance should not claim they are great at saving and budgeting.

The real message though is just to follow all of the instructions given by your physician and nutritionist as well as you possibly can. This is a wave you are trying to ride and the instructions they give you are for how to stay on it. It is not a good idea to try and outdo what they ask of you to see if you can get even better results.

Do what they tell you to do. Eat what they tell you to eat, not less. Exercise mildly like they advise. Do not take up marathon running or something like that. Take your Vitamins. Drink your Water. And log everything you eat/drink/take in into some kind of app, so that you can hold yourself accountable.

Anyway, I think you're all great and I'm glad you're here. Thanks for listening. We're all rooting for you.

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I don't mean to offend anyone. I just hate to see people work THIS HARD to shoot themselves in the foot.

My nutritionist and doctor both say...."1200 calories a day by week 6. Beware the starvation metabolism. You need to learn to eat the right things and exercise to lose permanently and change your lifestyle."

I tend to listen to them cause they've based their lives around studying this crap, going to continuing education seminars about the biology of metabolism post-surgery, bariatric endocrinology, etc. They're not just taking shots in the dark....they've watched a LOT of people go through this.

I dunno....my fear is seeing people who are trading one eating disorder for another...because maybe the underlying issues are not being addressed. I just want to say...slow down...breathe...do it healthy.

Not my place to judge really, and I apologize if my post sounds judgey.

Just would really like to see everyone succeed long term, be healthy and happy.

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I totally hear you guys, it does seem that a lot of people go through surgery and come out with some unrealistic expectations for both rate of weight loss and total expected wt loss. On the other side, I remember how irrationally emotional I was those first few weeks post op. Actually thinking I was failing already bc I wasn't losing enough weight (really I was), I had to help myself "get a grip" more than once on this journey. For that reason, I try to be understanding and reassuring when I see "Help Me!!" "Stalled!!" titles in the post op forum.

The calories thing drives me crazy too, it's really hard to know what is right! Personally I was at 900 cal at a week post op but was never actually given any specific calorie target to hit by my nutritionist.

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Great advice. I think it would be good for people before surgery to get their diets as clean and unsweetened as possible before they even start. Understand that fast doesn’t make you fat, but carbs (sugars and fake sugars too) do. Then let your body heal post surgery, learn how to slowly get the Protein Drinks in, and the Water, then slowly add rich Protein foods and healthy, filling fats in. Veggies for “dessert” after those first spoon or forkfuls of protein.

Keep your food chart and see how the weight goes down. I found by eating the protein (I prefer animal, and it comes with lots of natural fat) I steadily lose, but if I find a carb that goes down easy, I lose less. I think a craving for sweets will do us in, so I don’t eat anything sweet, not even fruit. The sweetest thing I eat is dark chocolate at 85% or more.

i only lose 3-7 lbs a month. And that must be fine, the months go by, and I am getting thinner. We need to be patient.

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I like plant based Protein for the most part, with some animal protein thrown in for balance. I do like chicken, fish, eggs, reduced fat swiss and Parmesan. But I eat plenty of tofu, chia, hemp seeds, mycoprotien, flax, etc, too

I do a lot of low glycemic index carbs (oatmeal, pumpernickle bread, whole grain wraps, stuff that doesn't cause sugar spikes) I don't have any problems with them inhibiting weight loss. Just need to watch calories. Too much refined sugar, however, seems to give me a stall. Artificial sweeteners don't seem to have much of any impact on my diet...have tried with and without.

I like Beans. Pea Protein Powder and brown rice protein powder to make a complete amino acid chain are my go to for protein supplements. The only whey I use are my caramel premiere protein shakes....that I use as Creamer in my coffee.

The longest living people on the planet eat diets high in plant Proteins and plant fats, complex carbs, with a balance of lean animal protein, and lots and lots of phytonutrients from fruits and veggies. These diets are coorelated with low cancer and heart disease risk, too. My goal is sort of a Mediterranean diet.

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    • LeighaTR

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    • Doughgurl

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      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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