I will be banded 3 weeks from today, 11/8. I have always prepared healthy meals, but my 18 y/o daughter has gained a lot of weight in the past year from eating junk that she gets at school, stopping at McD's and DQ for ice cream and eating snacks that are really a meal. It started happening when her dad and I separated. She has asked me for help and I have shown her how to weigh, measure, keep a food diary, etc. It's getting her to continue that is difficult. She's angry with me because, in her words, now she'll be the only fat one in the house. Has anyone had the experience that others in the family are more motivated to lose weight after someone in the household has been banded? She has refused counseling to talk about her anger, which I know plays a huge part in her weight gain. I am so afraid that she'll end up as large and unhappy as I have been.

My DH's metabolism is slowing down and his rock hard abs are full fledged squishy now. I have been trying to hint to him, that he needs to eat healthier now too.. AND the fact that it's so obvious to me when I'm eating my little meals now. Sometimes he cares, especially in the beginning.. but I dunno.

We use to drink coke all day long, now he only has 1 bottle at work so it's not around to tempt me.

I won't eat fast food anymore unless in a real crunch (It's so hard to find something I can eat, AND that doesn't go over my allowed calories), so he eats fast food a lot less as well. I'm glad about that. If I'm adding years to my life, I don't want him to kill himself with all the fat either!

But really, unless they want to eat better, just because you are it won't affect them. They can eat your healthy meal, then have a lot of snacks, a milkshake, etc. My DH seems to eat the left over of my healthy food whatever I'm having at the time.. along with his grease ball.

I know you've said she has a lot of issues with food, so i won't even pretend to know how to be a parent in this situation.

But, Her situation is the same as yours, if you needed the band to lose weight and get healthier, maybe she does too. Although her head should be clear and she should maybe solve those issues before starting on that journey, have you thought about that?

Hmmm, I'd have to say no, not really.

We always ate "healthy" as a family. I provide good meals for them, I dont let my kids eat crap Cereal, we never ever ever have cordial or softdrinks or even orange juice in the house, they've grown up drinking skim milk and Water, we dont eat McDonalds or takeaways like pizza apart from VERY rare occasions, and they get plenty of fruit, vegetables and good quality meat. We spend a lot more than other families on food becuase we buy good food and often organic.

But they still do get the chips, the packages snack foods etc that their peers have becuase they're kids. Two of them are normal weight, my oldest son (12) is getting quite overweight, but I'm really not sure that he isnt jsut about to have a huge pubescent growth spurt, he's going to be enormous, his feet are bigger than mine (and mine are size 10), his hands are bigger than mine and I'm not small for a woman!

But he's very inactive and he overeats quantity wise although his diet is good. I mean he plays basketball and gets lots of sport at school but in between by nature he's sedentary and can always be found inside doing something quiet. Whereas Ewan disappears after Breakfast and shows up around dinner time.

My husband overeats too - just huge quantities of food. He's obese, only just, but obese nonetheless.

So yeah, we eat good food, same food that we always did but I just eat less of it and I no longer sneak in all the crap around the sides - the cakes, muffins and coffees at the shops, the McDonalds for lunch etc

Yeah my husband has packed on about 30 lbs since my banding.

He must have his own meal. So instead of sharing a meal with me, I have to order my own. And he eats my leftovers, which is basically two meals.

When I told my mom I was getting the band, one of her comments was, "I wil be so jealous if you lose a bunch of weight." Yeah, she's jealous. Really jealous. Happy for me, but jealous. It definitely shows. The other day she said something to the effect of, "I am happy to take the title of fattest one in the family from you." And I believe it. I think she is happy (she always blamed herself for my weight), and I think it crushes her at the same time.

Sometimes it is hard to be a Mom and human!!!!

It is such a hard place to be when someone you love and want only the best for gets it, and you get left behind. You really, truly are happy for them....but envious just the same.

Love your DD and be open to how she wants to approach this is about all I could say.

Good Luck!

Kat

I've saved so much money and my kids, a little plump, are sliming down, too.

We were big on dining out...that's cut down from 7x or more to just now 1x a week. And my meals are free as I've learned to just eat what they leave, or just 2 bites of each of theirs.

They are now taking flintsones, as I am.

No soda in the house, chips, doritos, etc.

It's been a postive experience...for the entire family.

Wheetsin, that's interesting about your mother.

I really feel for my baby sister at the moment. she and I are very similar in looks and build, but she never got very fat, she always managed to keep it in control. Interesting she's now hitting the stage of life at which I got really fat as opposed to just not thin, 2 kids, bored stiff at home, no job, nothing much to do but shop, eat, have coffee, meet friends to eat and have coffee, etc etc. She's piled on probably 30 or 40lb over the last couple of years and is really starting to look hefty.

And she's not said anything to me but she has to mum about how she finds my weight loss so confronting. You get so down on yourself when you start to gain weight and get older, you feel so ugly and horrid and I know what it is to attend the family functions and feel like I'm the fat ugly one out of my two sisters and I. Now its her feeling it and my heart bleeds for her. I dont want to talk about my weight or bask in the success in front of her but everyone else brings it up, its like its STILL the main topic of conversation.

And we've got Dad's 70th on Saturday night, a formal affair and I've bought this utterly gorgeous dress and I know she's going to be in tears trying to find something to wear that actually fits (and our middle sis is truly model material, stunning), and I almost dont want to go!