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I've done my research and found the Dr. to do my DS. Next month I will be putting in a deposit and scheduling the date. My primary care Dr. knows and is going to do my follow up care. I got my passport and my companion ordered hers today. I've cut out most of the bad stuff from my diet and am ready to start the pre-op diet with minimum withdrawals. I'm so ready for this.

I am going back and forth on to tell or not to tell Facebook friends and co- workers. I'm ashamed of being 265lbs and 5"2'. Yes my co- workers see me daily but I can hide it from Facebook friends that don't see me regularly. I know I need to stop hiding and be happy with me and that's one reason I want to share my journey with everyone. I just don't want to fail again.

Once I schedule the date I will need to talk to someone to get the time scheduled off. Should I just go through HR and the FMLA for approval? I just started accepting friend request from co workers so they will know I'm on vacation if I post pictures and not home suffering with medical issues. I've been off the last two weeks for kidney stones and surgery and my co workers are very nosey so that's another reason I think of just coming out.

Did you go through your HR or Supervisor? I don't have any vacation time left because of the kidney stones so am unsure if my supervisor can approve a vacation so getting the surgery approved through HR maybe my only option. I have short and long term disability.

Thought or suggestions?

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If you have short/long term disability through your employer you should go through HR if that is the company requirement to get the st/lt disability stated. I don’t see the need to go FMLA when you have the ST/LT disability. Good luck on your WLS & the new you afterwards.

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If you have short/long term disability through your employer you should go through HR if that is the company requirement to get the st/lt disability stated. I don’t see the need to go FMLA when you have the ST/LT disability. Good luck on your WLS & the new you afterwards.

Thank you


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It is just my opinion, but I would schedule the surgery for the 1st week of January, take the time off, and use the vacay. Short-term disability usually has a wait time. Mine is 14 days before coverage kicks in. You will probably be back to work within 2 weeks, so it might be more hassle than it is worth. Besides, it can take up to 8 weeks for your companion to get his/her passport in the mail. That will take your timeline out to the end of December anyway.

I have also seen co-workers lose jobs over being gone from work too much. Many employers frown on taking extended time off after your vacay has been used. FMLA guards against this, but it is very hard to prove if they say that your work quality has suffered.

I didn't tell co-workers or Facebook friends. I didn't even tell my employer. I felt that it was none of any of their business, especially since I was self-paying for the surgery. I also didn't want HR to leak info throughout my company. It shouldn't happen, but does nonetheless.

Also, a lady at work had GB surgery about 5 years back. She told everyone at work. She got tons of support from everyone.....Until she started regaining weight back. Then it became brutal. Now, she is still down a lot, but noticeably larger than her smallest weight. Everyone talks badly about her now. When she takes a plate home at company functions, people stare and talk. Had she not told anyone, she would not have had to put up with as much scrutiny as people lose and regain weight all of the time. That is just the people at my company, and your co-workers might be different.

You sound like you've got it together, and I wish you the best of luck.

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It is just my opinion, but I would schedule the surgery for the 1st week of January, take the time off, and use the vacay. Short-term disability usually has a wait time. Mine is 14 days before coverage kicks in. You will probably be back to work within 2 weeks, so it might be more hassle than it is worth. Besides, it can take up to 8 weeks for your companion to get his/her passport in the mail. That will take your timeline out to the end of December anyway.
I have also seen co-workers lose jobs over being gone from work too much. Many employers frown on taking extended time off after your vacay has been used. FMLA guards against this, but it is very hard to prove if they say that your work quality has suffered.
I didn't tell co-workers or Facebook friends. I didn't even tell my employer. I felt that it was none of any of their business, especially since I was self-paying for the surgery. I also didn't want HR to leak info throughout my company. It shouldn't happen, but does nonetheless.
Also, a lady at work had GB surgery about 5 years back. She told everyone at work. She got tons of support from everyone.....Until she started regaining weight back. Then it became brutal. Now, she is still down a lot, but noticeably larger than her smallest weight. Everyone talks badly about her now. When she takes a plate home at company functions, people stare and talk. Had she not told anyone, she would not have had to put up with as much scrutiny as people lose and regain weight all of the time. That is just the people at my company, and your co-workers might be different.
You sound like you've got it together, and I wish you the best of luck.

Very great points. Unfortunately by vacation does not reset at the beginning of the year with this job I earn 5 hours per pay period. I reached out to my HR department last night about new paperwork for the kidney stone surgery and the company said to contact them if you expect to be gone more than 7 days I thought it was two weeks and that's why I waited. I guess I'll find out when I apply for this. That will be awesome if it is only a week.
My passport took 9 days to get here without paying for the expedited processing so hers may boy take the full 8 weeks either. We can always hope.
I've gone back and forth on the telling for those exact same reasons. I don't want to be judged if I fail. I chose the DS in hope for better long term results for this exact reason. I have been embarrassed long enough by being over weight that I stopped going to weddings, reunions and other functions that people will see that I've gained weight. I'm missing out on life. I know my family loves me and I want to be able to support my husband and feel confident standing next to him. My husband is an artist and has art functions throughout the state. I had one of his art friends come up to me and say "your his wife? Looking me up and down saying I don't see him with someone like you" since then I've gained another 65 pounds so I'm even more embarrassed to go around that crowd even though everyone else has been extremely nice I hear then saying the same things in their heads. (My husband and I have been married 22 years) my kids only know me as being overweight and if I lose it I won't be so comfy to cuddle with. At this point I want the health benefits of being able to lose weight when nothing else has worked. My family knows how hard I have tried in the past with no results I eat less than they do and exercise more and what they lose I gain. I'm glad my family is on board with this plan it makes it much easier.


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I would check out all ur resources and see what ur eligible for, I work 2 jobs and my full time job was FLMA and got full pay and my 2nd job is part time and could only get disability was short term ,approx 20 hours from FLMA requirements. I was out 3 weeks . Good luck

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2 hours ago, fastfoodaddictnomore said:


Very great points. Unfortunately by vacation does not reset at the beginning of the year with this job I earn 5 hours per pay period. I reached out to my HR department last night about new paperwork for the kidney stone surgery and the company said to contact them if you expect to be gone more than 7 days I thought it was two weeks and that's why I waited. I guess I'll find out when I apply for this. That will be awesome if it is only a week.
My passport took 9 days to get here without paying for the expedited processing so hers may boy take the full 8 weeks either. We can always hope.
I've gone back and forth on the telling for those exact same reasons. I don't want to be judged if I fail. I chose the DS in hope for better long term results for this exact reason. I have been embarrassed long enough by being over weight that I stopped going to weddings, reunions and other functions that people will see that I've gained weight. I'm missing out on life. I know my family loves me and I want to be able to support my husband and feel confident standing next to him. My husband is an artist and has art functions throughout the state. I had one of his art friends come up to me and say "your his wife? Looking me up and down saying I don't see him with someone like you" since then I've gained another 65 pounds so I'm even more embarrassed to go around that crowd even though everyone else has been extremely nice I hear then saying the same things in their heads. (My husband and I have been married 22 years) my kids only know me as being overweight and if I lose it I won't be so comfy to cuddle with. At this point I want the health benefits of being able to lose weight when nothing else has worked. My family knows how hard I have tried in the past with no results I eat less than they do and exercise more and what they lose I gain. I'm glad my family is on board with this plan it makes it much easier.

Fast....I feel your pain. I also feel as though I used to gain weight super easily. I used to drop 4-6 pounds every week by eating well only to gain it all back with 1 cheat day. This surgery has really worked for me. I was ready for it as I am sure you are. You are going to do well, and maybe, just maybe.....new friends can look at your husband and say...How did you get her?

I wish you nothing but the best in your journey!

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