Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Am I the only one who gets annoyed by the question Why?



Recommended Posts

On 9/23/2017 at 4:12 PM, StephersSweet said:

One of my supervisors kinda has a big mouth and it very quickly became the topic of conversation in my office. -_-

HOOOLEE crap! You need to contact your HR department immediately. Seriously. Major FMLA and ADA violations. You may even want to consider talking to an attorney or the EEoC. Or both.

http://www.fmlainsights.com/disclosing-an-employees-medical-condition-may-result-in-an-automatic-fmla-violation/

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

6 hours ago, Wumbo said:

HOOOLEE crap! You need to contact your HR department immediately. Seriously. Major FMLA and ADA violations. You may even want to consider talking to an attorney or the EEoC. Or both.

I don't think it's that serious yet, I want to be open about my surgery and that way I can be a success, I want people to know that this is a tool to help you with your life if your in the same situation. I don't mind that it came out in the office, it's about a 75%-25% positive to negative feedback from the people in the office who found out. To the negative 25% I'm sure they have their reasons but I can't wait to see their faces as I slowly turn into a skinny human lol

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

15 minutes ago, StephersSweet said:

I can't wait to see their faces as I slowly turn into a skinny human

Hear, hear to that!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

22 hours ago, NZFinallyFree said:

I told only my sister as she had a bypass a while back and it essentially reversed her diabetes and saved her life - she was in and out of hospital with obesity related health issues and spent most of her life in a chair watching TV before the surgery. I did not want to go down the same path and already had BP and small mobility issues.

It turns out very easy to explain WL thus far as it is only early days but I make it well known I am on a 'Health Kick' - ha ha nothing new there must have done this hundreds of times over the years! I also say I am really focusing on portion size. People don't seem to notice what you eat if you don't draw attention to it. My Dr does not advocate liquid diets either pre or post op past the first 3 days so it was really easy to appear normal.

As a relatively low BMI (34) to start with, I know I would have got a lot of negativity - besides I am a very private person and don't feel the need to share this. I have this forum now to turn to and enjoy reading the different stories. I am sure people would say it was a cop out to have WLS or question me as to why I didn't just suck it up and lose weight alone. Well I have done this so many times before and each time I do I put it all back on and more and to be honest weight control has been in control of me almost all my life! I am a self pay and every cent is worth it so far - I agonised for months over the decision to do this and I am so glad I did.

Thanks for your post. My BMI now is 31 (pre surgery), but has been as high as 40, and as low as 24 in the last 7 years. Myriad of health issues, plus hitting 65 and as my friend said, I need to control my body with this great tool, as my body has controlled me too much. Had pen heart surgery, which failed within 6 months. So glad no one is saying I'm too light weight for surgery. Health really is so important, and I want to see grandkids grow up!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

7 hours ago, LillieDuFran said:

Thanks for your post. My BMI now is 31 (pre surgery), but has been as high as 40, and as low as 24 in the last 7 years. Myriad of health issues, plus hitting 65 and as my friend said, I need to control my body with this great tool, as my body has controlled me too much. Had pen heart surgery, which failed within 6 months. So glad no one is saying I'm too light weight for surgery. Health really is so important, and I want to see grandkids grow up!

When is your surgery? I am sure you can't wait. You will find it such a great tool as your friend suggests. I am finding it so wonderful to have a control over my intake I never had and look forward to stopping the yo-yo nightmare. Health I agree is the most important thing of all!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

8 hours ago, NZFinallyFree said:

When is your surgery? I am sure you can't wait. You will find it such a great tool as your friend suggests. I am finding it so wonderful to have a control over my intake I never had and look forward to stopping the yo-yo nightmare. Health I agree is the most important thing of all!

My surgery is week from today, 10/5, at 9:15. I have pre op this am. I am OCD/over organized and working on populating my take every where calendar with enough info to get me through to regular foods on 12/2. Of course, regular means a bit different. I am NOT sad to let go of popcorn, although I love it. It's an indigestible food & with colectomy, not a great idea any way, lol

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

59 minutes ago, LillieDuFran said:

I am NOT sad to let go of popcorn, although I love it. It's an indigestible food & with colectomy, not a great idea any way, lol

Popcorn is one of my all time favorite Snacks. I found out that even the light options have palm oil in them which is carcinogenic and gave it up completely. I miss popcorn though.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I told my supervisor at work and yesterday she told me that she had thought I was too self confident to need it and was surprised that I had low self esteem. WTF? I specifically let her know when I told her it was for medical reasons and never said anything about my looks or my self-esteem LOL. I tried to set her straight when we were talking but I'm not sure she got it. In addition I'm also worried that it's going to get around the office and it will be her who starts talking about it.


Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Angelnrs said:

I told my supervisor at work and yesterday she told me that she had thought I was too self confident to need it and was surprised that I had low self esteem. WTF? I specifically let her know when I told her it was for medical reasons and never said anything about my looks or my self-esteem LOL. I tried to set her straight when we were talking but I'm not sure she got it. In addition I'm also worried that it's going to get around the office and it will be her who starts talking about it.

If she's anything like my supervisor she'll be a chatty cathy and the whole office will already know.

One thing I love about my supervisor is how supportive she's been which is another reason I don't mind that she told other people because now upper management knows and they can't punish me for taking excessive time off for all of these pre op appointments. Also she wants to be my personal cheerleader and work out buddy so that's pretty cool.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

On 9/28/2017 at 8:03 AM, Angelnrs said:

I told my supervisor at work and yesterday she told me that she had thought I was too self confident to need it and was surprised that I had low self esteem. WTF? I specifically let her know when I told her it was for medical reasons and never said anything about my looks or my self-esteem LOL. I tried to set her straight when we were talking but I'm not sure she got it. In addition I'm also worried that it's going to get around the office and it will be her who starts talking about it.

Before I had the surgery, I would tell some people I met on dating sites and they would tell me, "Oh you don't need it! You're beautiful all ready!" I just wanted to reach through my computer and strangle them. Dude, I didn't have the surgery to be "more beautiful," I had it so I could have my life back, do the things I want to do, and not worry about dying before my 40th birthday.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I get super annoyed by the why?. Then when you answer they have suggestion on diets to try. I have been on every diet known to man lol and I wasn't able to stick with it or I loss the weight temporarily and gain it back.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Anyone who thinks getting half your stomach cut off and pulled out a hole above your belly button and then be told "now get used to eating like that" is EASY can kiss my once fatter ass.


Best response ever!!! Thank you.

Sent from my XT1635-01 using BariatricPal mobile app

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

On 9/21/2017 at 8:19 AM, StephersSweet said:

Seriously though, any time you venture into the subject of WLS surgery and someone asks you why? I just get annoyed by it at this point. So I tell them I'm morbidly obese which leads to the "why don't you go to the gym, why don't you try this new diet, why would you want to do something so crazy when there are better ways to lose weight it just takes hard work?" Then I tell them about all the fad diet programs I've tried, that I go to the gym 4 times a week 1.5 hour each time alternation on strength training and cardio, which leads to more Why questions. Honestly I'm really tired of the why question, I'm all for educating the people around me but 9/10 times there questioning not because they care or want to know but because they think I'm taking the "easy way out", and that really irritates me.

So is anyone else out there sick and tired of explaining themselves?

I don't explain to anyone, it's none of their business.

If they ask you "Why?", just say "Don't worry about it." :P

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

.

Edited by monalyssa33
Didn't realize I had responded with the same thing like 2 months ago

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×