I'm hiding my surgery from family anyone else ?

[mzsantiago88 145]

I'm not telling my family that I am having surgery, is anyone else here doing the same ?

[Killian 270]

I am not telling my family either. My wife knows but no one else. Really not in the mood for well-intentioned yet ill informed advice from the family. Even if the flip side is correct and they full support me 100%, I dont want it to be a constant topic of conversation. Other people thrive on support from family and friends and that was works for them. But for me, this forum and my wife is all the support I want.

[Angie's_Ocean 213]

Me three! My mum and husband know that's it. And my mum knows because she's coming with me to be my nurse [emoji57]

[dh2292 9]

Yup! From my family only my mom and husband know. Dad, his family, stepmom and her family are too judgmental in life for me to care about their opinions to begin with so yeah, keeping it from them is the best choice in my life. Thankfully I have a handful of very supportive friends who back me up 100% as well, so family support is not really missed 🤣🤣

[mzsantiago88 145]

When I was a child my family used to ridicule me because I was over weight so it's a very uncomfortable topic I don't feel the need to discuss it with them and I wanted to see if I was alone

[Rainbow_Warrior 996]

24 minutes ago, mzsantiago88 said:

I'm not telling my family that I am having surgery, is anyone else here doing the same ?

I'm telling most family, a few selected friends and just two trusted colleagues.

There has been discussion amongst friends and workmates and, inevitably, many people including some long-term fat/obese people who go on about 'cheating'.

I don't want their negativity and 5h1t. Surgery is my considered choice after over 20 years of losing every dieting battle (about which I used to feel too much shame).

We are, after all, fighting fast food, advertising, mass-produced high-sugar, low-nutrient cr@p and I was too slow off the mark.

[Rainbow_Warrior 996]

24 minutes ago, Killian said:

I am not telling my family either. My wife knows but no one else. Really not in the mood for well-intentioned yet ill informed advice.

I understand. So much negativity from random commentators that it's better to choose carefully who to tell. (I have replied to others here if you wish to read my 'fine print'.)

[dh2292 9]

When I was a child my family used to ridicule me because I was over weight so it's a very uncomfortable topic I don't feel the need to discuss it with them and I wanted to see if I was alone

You're Definitely not alone! Best of lucky to you [emoji171]

[Rainbow_Warrior 996]

24 minutes ago, Angie's_Ocean said:

And my mum knows because she's coming with me to be my nurse

I have someone to drop me off for the surgery on the Thursday and my wife will bring me home on the Saturday afternoon or before noon on the Sunday.

I don't want a procession of dumbstruck hospital visitors.

[mzsantiago88 145]

Same I don't need a pity party I've had enough of being the token fat girl haha ! Thanks guys you have put me at ease

[Killian 270]

I understand. So much negativity from random commentators that it's better to choose carefully who to tell. (I have replied to others here if you wish to read my 'fine print'.)

I found by NOT adding paragraphs, the Bariatric Pal App wont change the font to small. Kinda wierd.

Skinny is coming.

[belinda401 116]

36 minutes ago, mzsantiago88 said:

I'm not telling my family that I am having surgery, is anyone else here doing the same ?

I my husband and children know and one close friend who has had the sleeve. As a matter of fact I just went through this big ordeal of how to hide the surgery over the holidays. I just don't want to listen to it. Once I have to come out and tell them that I did something I will. I have already decided I will let them all know that it was a personal decision and it was hard enough making the decision without having to hear everyone's opinions and horror stories.

[mzsantiago88 145]

My biggest worry is having the surgery so close to holidays everyone is going to wonder why I'm not eating it's one of my biggest fears - sigh

[Rainbow_Warrior 996]

17 minutes ago, dh2292 said:

Thankfully I have a handful of very supportive friends

They are the real "rusted on" friends who back you whatever you do/decide.

The other sort of people are mere acquaintances or passers-by in your life, not true friends.

[belinda401 116]

Just now, mzsantiago88 said:

My biggest worry is having the surgery so close to holidays everyone is going to wonder why I'm not eating it's one of my biggest fears - sigh

Are you having a hiatal hernia repair too? I am and the recovery eating is the same as our food plan. So my thoughts are I will still be on puree at Thanksgiving (and smaller which can be explained by not being able to eat solids since my hernia surgery). Then come Christmas I can say that I am eating smaller portions because it still bothers me and I want to keep the weight that I loss off from the surgery. It is a shame I plotted it out this far....... I just don;t want to ruin Christmas!!! lol