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Need advice

Tiffany Ramirez

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Tiffany Ramirez    4

Tiffany Ramirez
Posted

FB_IMG_1498261337713.jpgI am in the process of finding a doctor and I'm about to do my sleep study because my doctor thinks I have sleep apnea. I have been doing all this without my husband knowing so I could have info to bring to him before I dicuss it with him but I not the one to lie to my other half so I told him and now he says he doesn't want me to to it at all. I have been through stuff when I was younger and started to put on weight at 8 hoping the stuff would stop. Now I am 26 and weigh 350. I love my husband and want to be around for a long time and have a long happy life with him. I just don't know if I should go through with it if he doesn't want me to. He is scared about what could happen during surgery.

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trulykendra    57

trulykendra
Posted

I personally think to decide on having bariatric surgery should be a personal choice. I understand you want to make your husband happy. But this surgery is all about you and your health. I'm speaking from personal as experience when I decided on looking into to having this surgery I was doing it for me. My other half ask me was I doing it for them I said no. I need some changes in my life my weight up and down from from all the dieting I need a tool that will surely help me. Good luck to you


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Supernovae    34

Supernovae
Posted

The surgery is safer than long term food addiction. Surgery with experienced doctors vs diabetes, heart disease, weakened/painful joint's and the many many other health risks that come with obesity. It's definitely worth it in the long run. Definitely make the decision on your own and ask for his support. Just because he doesn't want you to do it doesn't mean that's the right choice. Maybe you could find someone in your local area who has had the surgery and get them to sit down with you and him. Might help show him that it's not too scary and the benefits are awesome

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GassyGurl    428

GassyGurl
Posted

Maybe you can have him go to your visits so he understands how deadly obesity can be, and how safe the surgery can be. Lack of understanding can cause a lot of fear. Plus, change is always difficult.

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Tiffany Ramirez    4

Tiffany Ramirez
Posted

I understand not doing it for him this is for me. I haven't even started all the things they make you go through so I know I have time to make him see this will be better for me. My sister and my cousin aren't really on my side on the surgery so I need him on my side.

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Tiffany Ramirez    4

Tiffany Ramirez
Posted

Maybe you can have him go to your visits so he understands how deadly obesity can be, and how safe the surgery can be. Lack of understanding can cause a lot of fear. Plus, change is always difficult.

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He is going to the first one with me so he can ask all the questions he has just hoping he will be OK with it just want him on board and support me

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Supernovae    34

Supernovae
Posted

I told my partner I was having it. Didn't ask for his opinion. I started by talking bout how it would benefit him. More confidence in his girlfriend, sex with easier positions, happier girlfriend, faster time to get ready when going out, nice booty for him to stare at. Just silly little things that made it seem more fun for him and less scary [emoji14]

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Introversion    1,876

Introversion
Posted

16 hours ago, Tiffany Ramirez said:

He is scared about what could happen during surgery.

Less than 1 percent of all people suffer complications during sleeve gastrectomy surgery. For context, that's about 1 out of every 100 people who have complications during surgery.

Your husband needs to be more scared about what will happen if you remain obese: increased risk of diabetes, sleep apnea, high blood pressure, heart disease, kidney failure, strokes, bilateral knee replacement due to arthritis, high cholesterol, cancer, and so on...all at a young age.

Look around you...how many elderly people are alive who are morbidly obese? Very few. If your husband loves you and wishes to grow old with you, then surgery is your best bet.

Good luck to you. :)

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kamjmm25    28

kamjmm25
Posted

My husband reacted the same way when I told him that I was going to start the process to get VSG surgery. I told him one day and he said flat out that he did not want me to have the surgery and he did not think it was a good idea. He never told me not to have the surgery he just told me how he felt. I started going to all of my appointments and I would tell him oh I have a Doctors appointment today or I am going in for this test. At first he never really said much when I would tell him about my appointments but as my surgery date has gotten closer he has come to accept that it is going to happen. He is just scared that something bad will happen during the surgery. I had him come to my pre op teaching class with me. I think that was a really good idea because the nurse goes over everything that will happen right before, during, and after the surgery including possible complications. After the class my husband was like wow she made it seem like no big deal lol. My husband will also be staying with me at the hospital. I think this journey has actually brought us closer. I wish you good luck on your own journey.

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losing2live4Him    33

losing2live4Him
Posted

My husband (will be officially ex soon) was so against me having the bypass, he threatened to leave me! I had the surgery on June 16, 2017. He was gone when I got out of the hospital. I've done it all on my own...complications and all. But the surgery itself was worth every minute. I'm 7 weeks out, 60 pounds down (260 if you count my husband), and off ALL of my meds other than the ones I take for depression and anxiety!

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jesslovesglitter    14

jesslovesglitter
Posted

Hey just wanted to say I'm 28 I'm 5'2 and my highest weight was 334. I was scared for my life when my husband said I stopped breathing at night and lips were turning blue. I did a sleep study and had severe sleep apnea. It was really hard and emotional to realize how my health was starting to fall. I discussed with my husband about sleeve surgery and he supported me 100%. I told him I wanted to live longer and not be scared anymore. Day of surgery he and I were all over the place lol nerves. Emotions. Everything. We did have the talk about what I wanted if anything bad were to happen during surgery. It's very hard to talk about that stuff and also dealing with major surgery. But, in the end it's your life. Your choice. No one knows I had it done except for my mom, dad, sister, his cousin, and hubby. I'm now 1 week after surgery and I'm down to 296. You can do this if you want it! Just talk it over with your husband:)


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MsRiseAndGrind    2

MsRiseAndGrind
Posted

I went through a similar experience. A lot of people don't understand the toll excess weight takes on you, both mentally and physically. I didn't have a good support system because nobody agreed with my decision to have surgery. The best approach is to try and explain why you decided on this journey. I found out that doing your research and educating those around you who don't understand, helps a lot. Not only does it give them the facts about bariatric surgery, but it shows them your commitment to a better and healthier lifestyle. This type of surgery isn't for other people, it is for you. It's so you can become healthier and feel better about yourself. I have learned that not everyone will agree with your choice, but those who love you will support you. Hope this helps. Good luck! xx

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fclenz    7

fclenz
Posted

My husband (will be officially ex soon) was so against me having the bypass, he threatened to leave me! I had the surgery on June 16, 2017. He was gone when I got out of the hospital. I've done it all on my own...complications and all. But the surgery itself was worth every minute. I'm 7 weeks out, 60 pounds down (260 if you count my husband), and off ALL of my meds other than the ones I take for depression and anxiety!

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So glad to hear that you're doing well!


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Go To Topic Listing PRE-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A

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    • LeighaTR

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      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
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    • Doughgurl

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      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
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      1. Phil Penn

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        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

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        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

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        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

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      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
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    • Doughgurl

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      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

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        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

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