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obsession getting out of hand



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I think I'm becoming too obsessed with this whole journey. Too much so that I'm giving myself anxiety attacks. I want everything to go well and be prepared I'm working so hard even before the prop diet to change my eating habits, get my blood sugar levels down, and wrap my mind around this. I'm excited that things are falling into place but I'm waiting for something to fail. I guess that's why I'm too obsessed

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Eh, no successful journey ever starts with someone waiting for something to fail. If you are putting as much effort into it as it sounds, you should be fine.

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For me, it's a personality trait - I research nearly everything to that degree: sewing techniques, gardening with native woodlands, the Irish famine, vintage 1940's fashion, hatmaking, semi-precious gems for beading, french hand sewing, french cooking, Julia Child, kitchen remodeling....and once upon a time my work - HP servers, VOIP systems, Cisco routers/switches, backup systems, security camera systems, you get the idea.

The issue isn't so much as jumping in all wired up and rearing to go but burning out and getting bored, or expectations that are unsustainable. (You don't want the operating system you just installed to be at it's EOL with any security updates) This isn't a sprint more like a long distance race.

So take a break and go live life, make some small changes that you think about keeping, like chewing slowly, no TV or texting while eating, break away from take out food so often. And learn - like screwing up at a wedding - how can you change that to make it livable next time? If you 'shame and blame' and hate on yourself it won't help the way you feel about yourself.

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I'm right there with you and know the feeling. I have finished everything and im just waiting for my surgeons office to review everything and submit it to my insurance for approval. I have so much anxiety for it all.

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Please talk with your surgical team about your obsession. Know that you're not alone. Others have felt this & learned to manage it. Good luck!

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I have had this same problem, and sometimes I still do. I actually ended up moving my surgery date up because I didn't want to keep obsessing for 6 more months. However, I have learned a little about how to control it. I have seen a therapist regularly since I started thinking about the surgery and she suggested a couple things. One is a worry journal. and mine is not so much a journal as much as a book of lists. I take ten minutes or so in the morning and write a list of all the things I am worrying/obsessing about. then I write next to them the current step I am in. For instance Protein powders - I could spend hours researching this daily - but I have ordered a few samples and until those come in and I try them, there is really nothing else I can do. So I would write - ordered samples or whatever next to that item.

Then if during the something comes up I am able to remember that I am doing everything I can at the moment for that particular item and push it out of my mind and get back to my task. I hope that makes sense. It has really been helping me.

Best of luck!

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