Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Don't read if you will be triggered -Sad & upsetting post about a needless death



Recommended Posts

A terrible, terrible thing happened today in our apartment building.

A fire broke out - no one knows how yet - in the apartment of an elderly couple.

We were all evacuated, even though it was in a different wing of the building (3 different elevator banks & we're adjacent) in part b/c we have a child & in part b/c this is NYC and fires move fast b/c the buildings are so close & often without firewalls.
The guys who work in our building are truly amazing & they were able to get out the wife, but the man - an elderly, sick man who was weak & needed a lot of help to move around plus a walker - was too heavy for three of the building staff to pick up and move. It was incredibly smoky & hot & eventually they just had to retreat from the apartment & leave that poor man there by himself, obviously desperately hoping the firefighters would get there in time. They didn't. One of our maintenance guys - who is both very tough & very kind literally had his face blackened with soot & was in tears because he couldn't lift the man up & out of the bed. The poor man tried to lift himself & couldn't. My father who was a strong athlete, was also very, very weak at the end of his life so I know how impossible it must have been for that elderly man to move himself - but three maintenance guys couldn't move him either because he was too heavy.

My wife knew him - they were on our co-op board together & I didn't even know him by sight. She says that we have to recognize that we have no control over how our lives will end, we can do our best but in the end it is not always up to us. In the Jewish tradition every year on Yom Kippur, our holiest day and the time when we repent & promise to try harder to do better in the upcoming year, the Bible reminds us that some will die in the upcoming year, some peacefully ad some "in fire" and that we don't know what will happen to us, it is in G-d's hands, not ours. We can only control trying to be the best possible person that each of us can be, but I feel so personally helpless today. And of course, I am thinking that everyone keeps saying that the man who perished in the fire was at least 300 pounds - close to my weight - which was why they couldn't move him when they most needed and wanted to do so.

I keep thinking about everyone's feelings of helplessness & despair here, and how so many people tried to change the outcome and couldn't.

This has just been so heart-breaking & upsetting and I have just felt so sad & awful about this all day. I am praying that he was unconscious from the smoke quickly, so that he didn't have a long time to know what was happening to him and obviously so that he didn't die in terrible pain. We will do whatever we can for his poor wife and for the workers in our building who are clearly traumatized by this. But that doesn't really change any of it, does it?

It's the first time I've really experienced first-hand how one's weight can literally be the difference between life & death, and how it can deeply affect others around you as well.

Thanks for a space where I can just write some of the sadness down. May the memory of Leon Gold be for a blessing.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

:/ oh I'm sorry for the lost of this elderly mans life. His poor wife! this is just heartbreaking! Praying for everyone at that apartment complex and this family.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It was a tough read but honestly that one of the reasons I wanted to lose weight. Who cold carry me? If I needed to be rescued who could do it?

It is just a reminder to be diligent about your health and not to take anything for granted.

Glad you are okay, OP.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm sorry for what you're going through. My condolences to Mr. Gold's family. There are some things in life that we cannot control. Take comfort in the great Mitzva you have performed by just writing this post.


Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am so very sorry for this loss. May the passage of time ease the enormous pain of all persons involved. Please accept my heartfelt condolences.

My own mother died a few months ago at the untimely age of 58. She was morbidly obese and had fallen at home. My very slender father could not assist her up off the floor due to her weight, so he telephoned 911 to facilitate her transport to a local hospital. She died a few weeks later. Her multiple illnesses were exacerbated by obesity.

It makes me wonder about the human toll that morbid obesity has taken, as well as all the years that have been cut from peoples' lives. It is truly sad.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My heart goes out to everyone grieving, we must all respect everyone for their struggles and be kinder in our words and deeds. Bless everyone going through this sadness.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

On 5/5/2017 at 5:52 PM, Deactivatedfatgal said:

:/ oh I'm sorry for the lost of this elderly mans life. His poor wife! this is just heartbreaking! Praying for everyone at that apartment complex and this family.

Thank you so much for your kindness and sympathy.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

On 5/6/2017 at 7:16 AM, Sosewsue61 said:

My heart goes out to everyone grieving, we must all respect everyone for their struggles and be kinder in our words and deeds. Bless everyone going through this sadness.

Thank you so much for your kind response - I appreciate your sympathy & support.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

On 5/5/2017 at 9:29 PM, Introversion said:

I am so very sorry for this loss. May the passage of time ease the enormous pain of all persons involved. Please accept my heartfelt condolences.

My own mother died a few months ago at the untimely age of 58. She was morbidly obese and had fallen at home. My very slender father could not assist her up off the floor due to her weight, so he telephoned 911 to facilitate her transport to a local hospital. She died a few weeks later. Her multiple illnesses were exacerbated by obesity.

It makes me wonder about the human toll that morbid obesity has taken, as well as all the years that have been cut from peoples' lives. It is truly sad.

Thank you so much for your condolences.

I am so very sorry about your Mother's untimely death. How heartbreaking for you and your family. It's so painful to lose a parent, at any age, but losing a parent a too young an age exacerbates that pain. I think that there must be a lot of these stories, that people often don't share out of shame and embarrassment. Thank you for sharing it with me.

I really appreciate your kindness and sympathy - it does help.

May your Mother's memory be for a blessing.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

On 5/5/2017 at 7:37 PM, Nynjesq said:

I'm sorry for what you're going through. My condolences to Mr. Gold's family. There are some things in life that we cannot control. Take comfort in the great Mitzva you have performed by just writing this post.

Thank you so much for being so kind - I really appreciate it, and it helps.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

On 5/5/2017 at 6:54 PM, OutsideMatchInside said:

It was a tough read but honestly that one of the reasons I wanted to lose weight. Who cold carry me? If I needed to be rescued who could do it?

It is just a reminder to be diligent about your health and not to take anything for granted.

Glad you are okay, OP.

Thank you. I really appreciate your honesty. My parent's health difficulties were part of the reason I wanted to lose weight as well, but I had never really thought about the fact that I couldn't be lifted, and it is a chilling idea. Thank you for reaching out - it really helps.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • vsg.with.sharon

      Hey everyone!
      I’m new here! Looking for some friends! 🥰
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×