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How did your significant other handle your weight loss?



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Mine has been very supportive....up until now. Now that i'm losing tons of weight, he's starting to become a little insecure.

I think he thinks i would leave him for someone better and i never would.

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So far so good with my husband. He is loving the new me - likes that he can get his arms around me and that we can fit together in one of the twin beds in our Airstream travel trailer! But mostly he is happy that I am healthier and can move around much better and that I have more energy.

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39 minutes ago, Airstream88 said:

So far so good with my husband. He is loving the new me - likes that he can get his arms around me and that we can fit together in one of the twin beds in our Airstream travel trailer! But mostly he is happy that I am healthier and can move around much better and that I have more energy.

I suspect this will be my husband! :) But we don't have a travel trailer! lol

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My wife has been very supportive of my surgery. She does get a little frustrated (I think) because I won't let her do things for me. I would rather do them myself. It is nothing against her, but I have always been self reliant.

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My husband has been awesome. He had had moments were he felt that with me losing weight that if want to lose him also but that surely want the case. I met him when I weighted 150lbs then ballooned to 345lbs now after surgery so far down to 214lbs. Still going strong with him 18yrs later.

Sent from my Z981 using BariatricPal mobile app

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My husband has been so supportive and just wonderful. For the past two years, he has watched me go through 2 open abdominal surgeries and numerous related health issues, including almost a constant abdominal pain from prior surgeries and existing hernias. When I made up my mind to have the sleeve surgery back in August, I was at my highest weight of 334. I told him, that it was really what I wanted to do, not to mention my doctor was urging me to do it. My husband was right there with me, so very supportive of my decision. I started losing weight in preparation for my surgery which was in November. Since August I have lost 94 pounds, down to 240 now.

With every little victory, my husband has celebrated with me. He has been super encouraging the whole time. When I went through more than a 2 weeks stall, he told me I was doing great and encouraged me to keep up the good work.

He has always told me that I am pretty, even when I didn't feel pretty. Fat or not as fat, he loves me the same.

I definitely don't see him feeling insecure or even having thoughts about losing me when I get to that 150 goal weight.

It sounds in my writing as if I'm bragging about my husband, and I guess I am.

For those out there that may not have the support of their partner, hang in there and be strong. Do it for yourself and be true to yourself. Be encouraged by your success and the good changes you have implemented into your life.

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First off my hubby and I have been married for 43years!! But...he has always been very open about his preferances. Mind you I weighed 142#'s when we got married. He has always told me how he has never seen me as fat he see's me as the day we got married. With that said, I know he prefers "THICKER WOMEN" so it has been very hard for me to feel sexy. He has made comments about me being nothing but skin and bones!! He alsom said sense I lost my weight he has to check the covers to make sure I am in there. All fun and games from him. But it makes me doubt myself again and again. I know he loves me and we are the best of freinds too. You see we are both retired and atre together all the time. This is just something my mind plays on. Before it was WELL, I am to fat to be desired (of course that was dumb because we have always had a very healthy sex life) Our minds are very powerful. It makes you beleive many things like I weigh 125#'s but I see the FAT ME still. Any how I will shut up now and I hope I didn't bre you all to much. Have a great day!!

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My boyfriend became distant right before surgery. I really thought that he would not show up the day of it. He ended up being there before I got there. He apologized for being insecure about what would happened and while I waited for my turn, we spent that time just talking.

Now, he is the most supportive. I believe I drive him up the wall with my constant talking about it and how I feel. However, he will listen. When we go out, his eyes light up when I look at the healthier options. He laughs when I say okay, I am full. He thinks it's the cutest thing, when I ask for a kids menu (IDK WHY).

He even got us YMCA memberships because he knows I love swimming and he thinks that would be great for arm and leg toning.

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3 hours ago, Redmaxx said:

My wife has been very supportive of my surgery. She does get a little frustrated (I think) because I won't let her do things for me. I would rather do them myself. It is nothing against her, but I have always been self reliant.

As a woman, I ask, might you allow her to do something for you? Will it kill you? That might be HER way to express her love and care for you. Don't shut it down. Just allow...without huffing, puffing or even internally resenting. Give it a try.

I say this because after taking a shower together, I attempted to put lotion on my recent-guy's back (he's White; skin was very dry and ashy. Yes, I could see it.) He nearly cut my head off: "NO!! I don't do lotion!!" (his now-dead wife never applied any, etc. in 35 yrs.) I told him, "it's lotion, not hydrochloric acid." He reluctantly allowed me to do it, and dang if he didn't like it after it had absorbed in, etc. He noticed his skin wasn't itchy, etc.

He's very independent, too; but I kindly say...at least periodically just let her help you, do something for you. It's her way of showing you some love. One or two 'yields' on your part won't kill you [right?]; and you just might like it. :-)

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4 hours ago, mylighthouse said:

It sounds in my writing as if I'm bragging about my husband, and I guess I am.

And you should. I suspect it can give others hope that there are WONDERFUL marriages of supporting spouses through all things. I have one myself. He's not insecure either. He tells me how beautiful I am even now. Blessings to you and your husband hon.

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My hubby of 19 years has been amazing. I'm 8 months post VSG and I weigh right now what I did when we got married but my shape is better now - I was trying on some clothes last night from "back in the day" and they were big on me despite my being about the same weight. He has been my #1 cheerleader through all this. He's even lost about 40 pounds and has started exercising - which given his health history I'm so grateful for that because I want him around a long time.

He loves the "new" me. I'm still getting used to what I look like and I still have about 40 pounds to go to be where I want to be.

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My husband and I have been married 18 years and together 24. We talked A LOT about post surgery concerns and his insecurities and that if he was feeling a certain way he needed to tell me and not keep it locked inside. This is a double edged sword. He does talk to me about his insecurity, but then it sometimes makes me mad because he is concerned that I am "shopping" for someone else. I love him deeply and could never fathom doing something like that, so it can be frustrating and I have to stop myself from saying "for real?" I keep my feelings in check about it upsetting me because I ASKED him for this.

I do feel like I spend a lot of time reassuring him, but being overweight with two children, he has had to go above and beyond for us and do many things that I could not do, so it's a fair trade off.

He is great and he needs a little reassurance, but nothing stalkery or crazy...lol

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My wife has been extremely supportive and extremely happy for me thought my whole journey. I think she does feel the stress as I approach her weight, which she has struggled with since I have known her. I think that what I eat and the amount of physical activity has encouraged her to keep up with me. So my weight loss has invigorated her to be healthier. Sometimes I feel bad for her because I make my weight loss seem so easy, and I feel that I get a little preachy when it comes to helping her work through her weight issues. I know she doesn't have the same tools as me but I want her to succeed because I feel that her frustrations might be exacerbated because of my wins.

Either way, she is happy for me which makes it all seem worth it.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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