Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

I think I am a hypocrite!



Recommended Posts

As I lose the weight, now down 70lbs, I expect more and more people to notice and make a positive comment about it. (The exact opposite thought when I was gaining my weight.)

I was with family and friends last week and their reaction was minimal. I was a little bothered by the lack of reaction, and then realized how hypocritical it is of me to want reactions now, but a few short months ago I did not want any attention given to my physical condition.

A- I am still 280, so it's not like I am skinny.

B- I am wearing smaller size clothes, so my stomach (flat tire) is still visible.

C- it's ok for now as I am only ½ way, and even if no one notices, I do and that is enough.

During that same week we went as a family to Knotts berry farm, I was able to fit on all the rides and roller coasters with my daughters which was a big deal to me personally. I am currently not a slave to my cravings and feel a since of freedom I haven't felt for a very long time.

Do I want people to still notice, yes. But it was a good lesson to learn, I don't need it.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There is nothing wrong with you wanting some praise for the hard work you have put in. I don't consider that hypocrisy, wanting positive reinforcement as opposed to not wanting to be called out on your weight when you are obviously suffering and aware of the situation. Totally different. However, it is wonderful that you have found happiness and peace combined with non-scale victories to motivate and reward yourself also. I personally fear amusement park rides myself, and hopefully that will change in the near future! Good job and good luck!



Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I can understand, but remember something---YOU know your success. YOU know how far you have come. YOU know how amazing your victories are! YOUR KIDS will remember you on the rides! You are free from cravings--time to get free from what people think and say.

Good luck in your journey and enjoy little victories!!


Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I can understand, but remember something---YOU know your success. YOU know how far you have come. YOU know how amazing your victories are! YOUR KIDS will remember you on the rides! You are free from cravings--time to get free from what people think and say.

Good luck in your journey and enjoy little victories!!




Amen


Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I can understand, but remember something---YOU know your success. YOU know how far you have come. YOU know how amazing your victories are! YOUR KIDS will remember you on the rides! You are free from cravings--time to get free from what people think and say.

Good luck in your journey and enjoy little victories!!




Amen


Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm pre-op but down 50lbs and am waiting for people to notice. Still hasn't happened. My boyfriend keeps saying there is a huge noticeable difference but it's his job to say nice crap like that lol. I even asked my mom if she saw a difference and she said "not really, but keep up the good work." Gee thanks mom!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm pre-op but down 50lbs and am waiting for people to notice. Still hasn't happened. My boyfriend keeps saying there is a huge noticeable difference but it's his job to say nice crap like that lol. I even asked my mom if she saw a difference and she said "not really, but keep up the good work." Gee thanks mom!

Exactly- what we didn't want the world to notice yesterday, we seek for today, especially from our loved ones. But that I believe while being very real, is lowest common denominator for motivation and doesn't last anyway, because the "wow" effect is just for a moment, no matter how good it feels. As we learn to provide our own wow moments, it becomes sustainable.
Thank you for sharing and congrats on your hard work and success.


Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I know the feeling. I am down 58 pounds, family is very supportive and gives me compliments. But only 1 of my friends said something about my weight loss. Sometimes people may be jealous that you are losing weight and taking care of your body. Who knows but as long as you notice the change and your loved ones you are around daily help you to continue to reach your goals that's all that should matter :)


Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I know the feeling. I am down 58 pounds, family is very supportive and gives me compliments. But only 1 of my friends said something about my weight loss. Sometimes people may be jealous that you are losing weight and taking care of your body. Who knows but as long as you notice the change and your loved ones you are around daily help you to continue to reach your goals that's all that should matter [emoji4]




Weight is also a pretty sensitive topic so a lot of people don't want to ask. Like they don't want to offend you if you aren't actually losing weight. My boyfriend and I were talking to our landlord last night who knows I am pre-op for WLS. He kept bring up that my boyfriend lost weight and I was kinda hinting at my weight loss and I just got the feeling that he felt so uncomfortable mentioning anything to me about my weight.



Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think you are lucky! I am a private person and not planning to tell anyone but my parents and husband about WLS. I have mentioned eating better to friends and co workers, so they aren't shocked and have lost weight pre surgery- but I really REALLY don't want people to say things like "whoa you really lost weight, or how did you do it etc" it makes me super uncomfortable to talk about weight with people. I loath the idea of my aunts or other relatives bringing this up at family events...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm not telling anyone either. Not even my parents. My boyfriend is the only one that knows. But I have been working out and eating healthy and so no one should really be surprised that I'm losing weight. I will be talking to people and say stuff like "since I have been losing weight...." thinking that they might be scared to bring it up but I still get no response so I'm like damn I guess they really can't see a difference.



Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have not told anyone I got sleeve , but my boyfriend and two friends that also got sleeve. This is a working progress especially when I keep hitting these stalls. 4 months post op 39 lbs lost.



Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

At first I didn't want anyone to say anything, then I was flattered when they did, then I was disappointed when they stopped.

Now the most frequent comments are not so fun. "Are you sure you're eating enough/getting enough nutrition? I think you need to eat more. You're getting so skinny. You're chest is losing weight but your belly is not. I don't want you to be anorexic."

All meant well, but sheesh!


Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites


Weight is also a pretty sensitive topic so a lot of people don't want to ask. Like they don't want to offend you if you aren't actually losing weight. My boyfriend and I were talking to our landlord last night who knows I am pre-op for WLS. He kept bring up that my boyfriend lost weight and I was kinda hinting at my weight loss and I just got the feeling that he felt so uncomfortable mentioning anything to me about my weight.




Lmaooooooo. Losing nearly 60 pounds is very obvious. When you get your surgery and start to lose weight you'll understand. I never met anyone who got offended by being told it looks like they are losing weight or slimming down. Lmaooooo [emoji30][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]


Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 1 reply
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×