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How Dod Your Marriage Improve?



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Hello friends! I'm 2 months away from surgery and today I am so ready to have it done and over with!!!

My husband is a "normal" sized guy who enjoys hiking, biking, going to sporting events etc. I am so looking forward to joining him in all these things!

For the vets, how did your marriage/relationship improve after surgery?

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

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Just as your hubby is so is mine. I used to really struggle walking, especially up hills and along the coastline but now I am usually ahead of him. One disadvantage is that I can now continually chat (I was always too out of breath before) as we walk along lol (He jokes I make his ears bleed and that I just like 'filling' silence). We start yoga in the summer and then in September we are going to samba classes. I would have never have done that before.

We have just booked 4 week holiday in August in Canada, travelling around, ON A MOTORBIKE!

Imagine the conversaion:

Me: Please can I have bariatric surgery and then 18 months after extensive plastic surgery?

Him: Whatever makes you happy love but would you do something for me ?

Me: Sure, anything.

Him: Lets go on a bike ride across Canada

Me: Of course, im fine with that (I will be able to get out of it, easy peasy)

:o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o

Me last week: Ermm, you werent serious were you (I hate bikes)

Him: Lets book the flights and rental bike today

Me Yayyyy (sob)

I love my hubster very much and our relationship is the same now as it was before.

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I'm not a vet by any means, I'm only about 1.5 months out, but my marriage has already improved dramatically. I am going to a concert, my first since HS, and am actually excited instead of being nervous that I won't fit in chairs! I have also exercised with my love instead of skipping out. Sex life is non-existent b/c Mother Nature has deemed me worthy for a 2 month flow, but that wasn't so much a problem as just uncomfortable at my highest weight. I've been putting off our honeymoon or any vacationing until I was the "right size" and finally we are going in September! He's prouder than ever at how much I have lost so far and is even supportive if I decide to have some body work done. For a guy who was 100% against the surgery, he's come a long way on this journey with me.

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My husband is also heavy - though not as much as me. He had been doing really well biking after knee surgery a couple years back - lost a lot of weight, getting fit - before getting totally derailed with a badly broken arm. My surgery finally pushed him into trying Keto and he's been losing weight almost as fast as I have. He's also been cooking more - mostly meat and veg - and even our teenagers can't stand against a united parental front of "no junk!"

post-300613-14864104488881_thumb.jpg

We also have one of these, which is great when one person is more fit/just a stronger cyclist (we lucked out and found one on Craigslist). I'm really looking forward to using this for longer rides once my health improves!

Sent from my iPad using the BariatricPal App

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

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      · 1 reply
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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