Struggling to Find a Place

[gpmed 623]

Hi everyone!

I've been a member of this board for about a year and a half, since before my RNY in September 2015. It would be hard to miss the drama that's happened here, but I've sidestepped it because it's just not interesting or relevant to me.

What I'm struggling with, though, is finding a place here where I can talk with others about what IS relevant to me. Most of the posts I see are from people who are pre-op or only a short time out from surgery. It's difficult and time-consuming to weed through all of these posts to find anything helpful or that I can relate to as someone more than a year out.

At one years, four months out from surgery, I still won't be allowed to post in the vets forum until March. I could use some support, good info or even just camaraderie from people who are further out like me RIGHT NOW.

Any suggestions? Where do you all who are a year or more out go for support? Thanks!

[James Marusek 5,244]

At 1 1/2 years post-op RNY, I would think that you have transitioned from the weight-loss phase to the maintenance phase, so I would think that you should be able to post in the vets forum.

My recommendations is give it a try and see if you are locked out.

[gpmed 623]

@@James Marusek I am. I'm locked out.

[Raymia 565]

Maybe if you post in a group with you surgery year and date I seen a form for it. If you stroll beneath the guys room. I'll double check for you give me a minute

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[Greensleevie 451]

Yeah, this forum has been overrun with newbies as most of the vets were run off. Lots of misinformation being given, kind of the blind leading the blind. It's frustrating. Obesity Help seems to have a lot more vets that contribute regularly. You should check it out.

[blizair09 3,250]

@@gpmed

While I am not nearly as far out as you (my surgery was in September 2016), I find that I am in a completely different place than most people that are posting on here now. Even before all of the recent drama, I mostly interacted with pre-op people, and anytime I do post something myself, there is little to no thoughtful discourse. The only way to get real traction in a thread, it seems, is for it to be controversial and turn into a big argument. I accepted that a while ago -- long before the recent events.

I have been very successful so far (I've lost almost 75% of my excess weight), and I am happy and willing to "pay it forward," but I feel like I respond to the same old things day in and day out. While the main folks from the recent exit didn't interact with me at all most of the time, the few people that did got wrapped up in the whole thing and are now gone.

I am finding that I need this site less and less as my journey goes on. I know what to do and I do it, and that will continue. But what I want from this is some kind of meaningful interaction with people who understand what I am doing. I chose this over an in-person support group because I don't have the patience to go and sit in a room with people whining about what they can and can't eat. (And as I understand it, that is all that it is in my location.) I still find myself drawn in to the site every day, but I can also see leaving it behind unless something changes.

Good luck to you!

[dtiller1147 137]

There are still some of us still hanging around. Post your question you might be surprised who will answer.

I not the most chatty person on here but do try to help if you have a direct question. You can contact directly too if that works better for you. Good luck and do not give up on the site, you are becoming a Vet yourself.

[Makeover 12]

Create a forum to see who else looking for the same thing as you

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[summerset 5,265]

There are still some of us still hanging around. Post your question you might be surprised who will answer.

I not the most chatty person on here but do try to help if you have a direct question. You can contact directly too if that works better for you.

It seems like now that the loudest screaming veterans are gone a whole crowd of veterans are coming out of the closet.

Good luck and do not give up on the site, you are becoming a Vet yourself.

That's such an important things to say. The community of veterans is a growing one as well.

[summerset 5,265]

Yeah, this forum has been overrun with newbies as most of the vets were run off.

Oh, come on... it's not like the majority of veterans left or was banned. They were the ones who screeched the loudest and most often. It's also well known where they can be found.

BP lost a lot of cattiness, cliquishness and people suffering from superiority complexes - all good things to lose. It's a chance for the less active old-timers to say what they have to say.

[NWJill 119]

I'd love to see more posts and exchanges from vets posting questions, issues or stories about their experiences because we all want to be vets one day. I want to know what is ahead. The best way to build that population is for the vets who are here to start posting their issues and experiences not just as replies to us newbies but as new threads. I know i've seen comments from some of the past vets that they didn't like to post because they would get advice from newbies who didn't know what they are talking about, but I think even us newbies have likely been down the road of weight loss and maintenance before and can have good advice to give but with all posts there is the good and the bad advice, and the best you can do is read and see what works for you

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