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Haters will always hate



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I found very few true haters along the way. Turn the tables and imagine if you saw someone drop weight at an incredibly fast pace beyond the usual lore of 1-2 pounds per week. You would probably comment as well because our transformations are shocking. Everyday on here people post things like, "5 months out and 70 pounds gone forever!" That's not typical for most people and if no one knows you have an extra tool to attain rapid weight loss, why does this surprise you? In the end, I got my fair share of "you don't need to lose anymore" comments but it was never with any real malice, there was occasional jealously once or twice, but mostly just curiosity and true amazement at such rapid change.

Never thought of it from that perspective. Good point!

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My surgeon actually warned me about this. He said something similar to what erp mentioned. He said sometimes it is jealousy, sometimes concern or curiosity too. Also that in the US we have a difficult time understanding what someone with a 'healthy' bmi looks like, for a lot of reasons. So he stresses not to pay attention to those comments.

He uses himself as an example. He technically has an overweight bmi, even though he doesn't look like he needs to loose weight.

He tries to get his patients to focus on healthy blood work, active lifestyle and a weight that is good for them.

I wish you luck in dealing with more comments like that. Way to go on the changes, you've made!

I do like the well aren't you sweet. Think I may use it!

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@@erp -- somehow I missed this post earlier. You make SUCH a good point. Rapid weight loss can be a shocking sight to see for some people, and their responses could be very genuine and sincere.

My dad is fighting Stage 4 Lymphoma right now. He has lost a massive amount of weight in the past 5 or 6 months. (In fact, it was the weight loss without him trying to lose weight that finally convinced him that something might be wrong.) Sometimes, when people see rapid weight loss, they think that something is wrong (because something often is wrong). Comments like that may be investigating that conjecture without directly asking about it.

That's just something to think about it. We all (myself included) form opinions pretty quickly sometimes without putting ourselves in the metaphorical shoes of others.

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Weight Watchers says that you can expect a loss of 1 to 2 pounds a week on their eating plan, and possibly more if you exercise daily. That is 104 pounds in a year or more and that is what WW says. If someone who is truly overweight ask me I will encourage them to attend a WLS seminar. I may or may not tell them I have a lap band.

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I'm a private person and have not told anyone at work about my surgery. Last Friday a co-worker, who is also obese, took the liberty to comment on my weight loss. " You're just wasting away! You look good. But you don't need to loose anymore weight."

I was so shocked and really wasn't ready for a comment like that. All I could do was laugh it off.

Fast forward to today. A different co-worker said the same thing to me. " You're wasting away"

I just responded with "yeah your right."

All of my co-workers are used to seeing me at 260 pounds . I am now 185. I'm still obese and have no intention to self sabotage my progress because of anyone's ideal of what "Looks good enough."

My goal is to become healthy and maintain a "normal bmi." I'm sure others will begin to comment even more as time progresses.

I'm staying on plan and I'm ready for the haters.

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Rather than say they are haters, I'd say they were more curious and possibly concerned...and yes...there's some gossiping in there as well. Just remember that when we are very large and loose alot of weight, it's common for those folks who know you as a heavier person to think you have/are losing too much weight. Not so. It's perception. I lost more than half my body weight and lots of people thought I should have stopped losing weight 50 lbs. or more ago.

Besides....our bodies will tell us when we've lost enough. I know mine did and now I'm working hard to maintain that loss. No one says squat about my size or weight loss anymore. After four year, everyone is used to seeing me at a normal size. Period.

I for one am happy that the questions have stopped and I am just who I am. It's my new normal is all and for that alone, I am so grateful.

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I'm a private person and have not told anyone at work about my surgery. Last Friday a co-worker, who is also obese, took the liberty to comment on my weight loss. " You're just wasting away! You look good. But you don't need to loose anymore weight."

I was so shocked and really wasn't ready for a comment like that. All I could do was laugh it off.

Fast forward to today. A different co-worker said the same thing to me. " You're wasting away"

I just responded with "yeah your right."

All of my co-workers are used to seeing me at 260 pounds . I am now 185. I'm still obese and have no intention to self sabotage my progress because of anyone's ideal of what "Looks good enough."

My goal is to become healthy and maintain a "normal bmi." I'm sure others will begin to comment even more as time progresses.

I'm staying on plan and I'm ready for the haters.

Sent from my Nexus 6P using the BariatricPal App

Rather than say they are haters, I'd say they were more curious and possibly concerned...and yes...there's some gossiping in there as well. Just remember that when we are very large and loose alot of weight, it's common for those folks who know you as a heavier person to think you have/are losing too much weight. Not so. It's perception. I lost more than half my body weight and lots of people thought I should have stopped losing weight 50 lbs. or more ago.

Besides....our bodies will tell us when we've lost enough. I know mine did and now I'm working hard to maintain that loss. No one says squat about my size or weight loss anymore. After four year, everyone is used to seeing me at a normal size. Period.

I for one am happy that the questions have stopped and I am just who I am. It's my new normal is all and for that alone, I am so grateful.

I will keep that in mind for the future. Thanks.

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@@Kaylamh Your way is the way I've handled my WLS/telling people. I've not gone full-on FB public with it, but the people I interact with locally know. I've been very open with them, and I've been relentlessly positive about the whole thing. People find it VERY hard to say 'oh, why would you do something like that' or make any negative comment when I tell them that I did it to make my health and life better.

I've (80 lbs later) gotten a couple of inquiries about how much more I plan to lose, with 'you look great now' attached, but I just smile and say 'about 30 more, and then I'll see how I look/feel'. I think sometimes people feel compelled to say something like 'you don't need to lose anymore' as a way of being supportive and praising you for you progress.

I truly have not had ANY negative comments...I've got some really great people in my life :)

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Since about a week before my surgery, I began telling everyone, EVERYone, that I was having WLS. So far, no haters. And if they do surface...oh well. I've got bigger problems to deal with. Like shopping for new clothes! :-) Seriously though, once I reached the 75 lb weight loss mark, I even went on Facebook and posted before and after pics and announced to the whole 'world' what I had done and to my surprise, got nothing but support and "Wow, you look great!" And even a few curious questions about how they could do it. I'm over 50 years old, I aint got time to deal with haters! Life's too short for that mess! If people cant be supportive, then they can watch my 'slimmer' backside as it walks away!

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I'm a few years out but I didn't hide it from anyone. I told my loved ones and coworkers without hesitation, I'm a very open person and trying to cover up why I would be melting away wasn't gonna work for me. I was surprised at how supportive everyone was (except a few) and how many had questions because they were either curious or wanted information for themselves or someone they knew. I felt like my honesty would be a blessing for someone and it turns out it was a blessing for 8 others who had battled their weight since they could remember.

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Since about a week before my surgery, I began telling everyone, EVERYone, that I was having WLS. So far, no haters. And if they do surface...oh well. I've got bigger problems to deal with. Like shopping for new clothes! :-) Seriously though, once I reached the 75 lb weight loss mark, I even went on Facebook and posted before and after pics and announced to the whole 'world' what I had done and to my surprise, got nothing but support and "Wow, you look great!" And even a few curious questions about how they could do it. I'm over 50 years old, I aint got time to deal with haters! Life's too short for that mess! If people cant be supportive, then they can watch my 'slimmer' backside as it walks away!

Good for you! I have told anyone and everyone about all facets of my journey -- including the surgery -- from the very beginning. And I have not had one remotely off-color thing said (at least to my face). And I pity the person who ever would say anything like that. They'd have a confrontation on their hands that they wouldn't soon forget!! To lose nearly 160 pounds, surgery or not, is a pretty impressive feat. Someone would have to be pretty ignorant to disparage such hard work and commitment.

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Tell them you are using www.bistromd.com foods if you don't want them to know. You can actually lose about 5-8 lbs a month eating their foods. I used them before just to get us through busy times at work (my hub and I work 7 days a week). They are super healthy, balanced, real food. I am just suggesting if you want to keep on the down low (what I am doing too). I lost 80 on my own and just had vsg last week. I am on the 8th day today and can't wait to move on a bit.

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Tell them you are using www.bistromd.com foods if you don't want them to know. You can actually lose about 5-8 lbs a month eating their foods. I used them before just to get us through busy times at work (my hub and I work 7 days a week). They are super healthy, balanced, real food. I am just suggesting if you want to keep on the down low (what I am doing too). I lost 80 on my own and just had vsg last week. I am on the 8th day today and can't wait to move on a bit.

Thanks for the advice. I will look into that. Your progress before your VSG is awesome. You will surely progress even better now that you have your tool. I would love to hear more about your journey as you go forward. Happy New Year and Happy New You. ????

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Just to amend one thing: I haven't told anyone (other than my immediate family). One caveat: I've told all physicians I see. I figure it's private & I believe they need to know.

Edited by Postop

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Just to amend one thing: I haven't told anyone (other than my immediate family). One caveat: I've told all physicians I see. I figure it's private & I believe they need to know.

I am exactly the same way. It's important to tell my other physicians so they can take it in consideration when prescribing meds and keep up with my over all health. My husband and my parents are the only others that know.

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Edited by Entrise

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I can see how those type of comments may seem harsh. But, in my opinion, I don't think they meant to be mean. I've had a lot of people say things like this. One lady, who works in another department of the building I work in, said "You better stop or you're going to disappear!" I believe she was just being sarcastic. Some people have a hard time giving straightforward compliments. My guess is, it's because they have a hard time receiving them. So since these people possibly have a hard time receiving compliments, it's probably in their nature to give you a compliment in a sarcastic manner. Also, another thought... Since we are losing so quickly, to them, it probably seems like we are "wasting away". I went from a size XXL to a Large in shirts, in just 4 months. Honestly, that is a huge change.

I'm not saying you shouldn't feel insulted, because you are completely justified in how you feel, since what they said doesn't really sound like a normal compliment.

Congratulations on your weight loss! Proud of you! :)

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