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Feelin' sorry for myself



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Just got done with all my pre op stuff. Surgery is Jan 17. My surgeon told me she won't do my surgery unless I have someone to look after me and help me for at least the first 48 hours after being discharged. I have no one. I'm not exaggerating. My soon to be ex husband kept me totally isolated. I'm feeling so sad that I don't have a soul that will help me. I'll lie to her if I have to. Please don't judge. I'm a tough cookie. But it's just so heartbreaking that I am absolutely alone in this world.

BTW...How do you even make friends at 40?

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The fact that he is soon to be ex is a good start. There are women support groups. Churches, Salvation Army, women's shelters... I'm tough as nails but I was glad I had someone to adjust pillows and get me stuff I needed when I just was exhausted. Don't lie to her, it could be dangerous. My church is always there for me and that is where my best true friends are. They cooked for my husband and son. And have for many other people who have had the need. If case need be, hire a sitter.

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Jesus loves you!!!

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It will be important to find a way of getting home after surgery. You will not be able to drive. Also, generally they write the prescriptions for you when you are released from the hospital and you will need to go and pick these up on the way home.

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How about calling around to the local nursing college? I know a lot of nursing students look for side jobs to pick up some extra money, if you can swing something for 48 hours that might be a good place. They could come over after school study and stay with you to make sure you are ok.

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Hello. Please don't get discourage. Try calling your insurance company and let hem know that you need home health care for at least a week. Most insurance provide these services. I work in a hospital and before getting discharge you can let the nurse know you need help at home. Try this first. What state and town do you live in ?

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Search for local home health care services online. You could have someone come in for just those days and pick you up from the hospital. Funnyish story - I live in a very vain (read plastic surgery), pricey part of the country and they even have hotels that have post-surgical care programs where you can have nursing staff take care of you (can't imagine how much that costs, but it would be kind of cool!)

As for making friends, it does take a little effort, but you can do it. I started by going to Meetup.com meetups for walking. I clicked with a few people and sucked up my courage to suggest meeting outside the meetups for walks. It worked! That evolved into doing other activities like movies, theater, shopping, coffee, meals and now I have some very close lifelong friends.

A post-WLS surgery support group is another place to meet likeminded people. Put yourself out there just a little and you will find your tribe!

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Hello. Please don't get discourage. Try calling your insurance company and let hem know that you need home health care for at least a week. Most insurance provide these services. I work in a hospital and before getting discharge you can let the nurse know you need help at home. Try this first. What state and town do you live in ?

Thank you. I'm in Omaha Nebraska

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It will be important to find a way of getting home after surgery. You will not be able to drive. Also, generally they write the prescriptions for you when you are released from the hospital and you will need to go and pick these up on the way home.

My surgeon is giving me my prescriptions a week before surgery. I'm taking a taxi to and from the hospital.

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Search for local home health care services online. You could have someone come in for just those days and pick you up from the hospital. Funnyish story - I live in a very vain (read plastic surgery), pricey part of the country and they even have hotels that have post-surgical care programs where you can have nursing staff take care of you (can't imagine how much that costs, but it would be kind of cool!)

As for making friends, it does take a little effort, but you can do it. I started by going to Meetup.com meetups for walking. I clicked with a few people and sucked up my courage to suggest meeting outside the meetups for walks. It worked! That evolved into doing other activities like movies, theater, shopping, coffee, meals and now I have some very close lifelong friends.

A post-WLS surgery support group is another place to meet likeminded people. Put yourself out there just a little and you will find your tribe!

Sent from my iPad using the BariatricPal App

Great ideas. Thank you!

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The fact that he is soon to be ex is a good start. There are women support groups. Churches, Salvation Army, women's shelters... I'm tough as nails but I was glad I had someone to adjust pillows and get me stuff I needed when I just was exhausted. Don't lie to her, it could be dangerous. My church is always there for me and that is where my best true friends are. They cooked for my husband and son. And have for many other people who have had the need. If case need be, hire a sitter.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Jesus loves you!!!

Thank you. I'll look for some support groups.

Sent from my Y538 using the BariatricPal App

How about calling around to the local nursing college? I know a lot of nursing students look for side jobs to pick up some extra money, if you can swing something for 48 hours that might be a good place. They could come over after school study and stay with you to make sure you are ok.

Never thought of that. Thank you

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Don't they have bariatric support groups through your Dr? Mine does and would be a good place to meet people and already have something in common.

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Clc9. You must be in L.A.!

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Don't they have bariatric support groups through your Dr? Mine does and would be a good place to meet people and already have something in common.

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Yes, they told me today I can start after surgery. Feb 1st would be the next one. I'm definitely going.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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