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Should I be upset?



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I definitely know those feelings of anger. My family ordered pizza hut when I was just a few weeks out from surgery! I had such a reaction to it too, sweating, heart racing, anxiety, NOT from eating it, I did not eat it. But just smelling it, seeing it, wanting it, drove me nuts. After that I respectfully told them to please never bring pizza hut into the house and they haven't. I think there is a difference between expecting everyone to live your lifestyle and asking for support.

Yesterday, I hung out with some friends and they all knew I was on the post op liquid diet. The weather wasn't too good outside and they were hungry and decided to order pizza. They started to order and mid-order asked if I was okay with it. Of course I wasn't but I felt stupid saying no so I said it was okay. They ordered it and ate it in front of me even forgetting that I couldn't eat it and offered me some after it came. Do I have a right to be upset about them knowingly ordering a food they know I like even though I said it was okay? I feel like if the roles were reversed I would have never done that to them.


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I definitely know those feelings of anger. My family ordered pizza hut when I was just a few weeks out from surgery! I had such a reaction to it too, sweating, heart racing, anxiety, NOT from eating it, I did not eat it. But just smelling it, seeing it, wanting it, drove me nuts. After that I respectfully told them to please never bring pizza hut into the house and they haven't. I think there is a difference between expecting everyone to live your lifestyle and asking for support.

Yesterday, I hung out with some friends and they all knew I was on the post op liquid diet. The weather wasn't too good outside and they were hungry and decided to order pizza. They started to order and mid-order asked if I was okay with it. Of course I wasn't but I felt stupid saying no so I said it was okay. They ordered it and ate it in front of me even forgetting that I couldn't eat it and offered me some after it came. Do I have a right to be upset about them knowingly ordering a food they know I like even though I said it was okay? I feel like if the roles were reversed I would have never done that to them.

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I can't imagine telling my family they can't have pizza in their own home because I'm fat.

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I definitely know those feelings of anger. My family ordered pizza hut when I was just a few weeks out from surgery! I had such a reaction to it too, sweating, heart racing, anxiety, NOT from eating it, I did not eat it. But just smelling it, seeing it, wanting it, drove me nuts. After that I respectfully told them to please never bring pizza hut into the house and they haven't. I think there is a difference between expecting everyone to live your lifestyle and asking for support.

Yesterday, I hung out with some friends and they all knew I was on the post op liquid diet. The weather wasn't too good outside and they were hungry and decided to order pizza. They started to order and mid-order asked if I was okay with it. Of course I wasn't but I felt stupid saying no so I said it was okay. They ordered it and ate it in front of me even forgetting that I couldn't eat it and offered me some after it came. Do I have a right to be upset about them knowingly ordering a food they know I like even though I said it was okay? I feel like if the roles were reversed I would have never done that to them.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

I can't imagine telling my family they can't have pizza in their own home because I'm fat.

I agree. It's their house. It's easier to walk outside or into another room and spray something so you don't smell it. The smell of pizza doesn't linger across the house, lol.

Edited by Hiraeth

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Uhh no you should've known what you were getting yourself into having this surgery. I started my liquid diet the week I was on vaca with my family... now that was not fun! But it was my choice and I wasn't upset at all.

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Think of this simple fact - in the liquid stage of post-op recovery the sause alone would feel like someone set your new stomach on FIRE when the acid from the Tomato hits your incision line. Knowing what to avoid to stay away from SEVERE pain makes it MUCH easier to allow others to eat.

If that does not work, think about the smaller clothes (SEVERAL different sizes to come SOON) in your near future. Then learn to focus on the enjoyment of the company of your friends, rather than the food they are eating. You will be at the point of tasting and enjoying VERY soon, so take care and get through the next few weeks!

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Think of this simple fact - in the liquid stage of post-op recovery the sause alone would feel like someone set your new stomach on FIRE when the acid from the Tomato hits your incision line. Knowing what to avoid to stay away from SEVERE pain makes it MUCH easier to allow others to eat.

If that does not work, think about the smaller clothes (SEVERAL different sizes to come SOON) in your near future. Then learn to focus on the enjoyment of the company of your friends, rather than the food they are eating. You will be at the point of tasting and enjoying VERY soon, so take care and get through the next few weeks!

Thank you that's what stopped me from doing it.

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What helps me is to tell myself I had my share (and believe me over the last 35 years of overeating I had more than my share of just about every food item I like)!

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I just can't wait to chew something again.

I'm not sure if anyone else has suggested it but I found chewing on ice a huge help!!

It makes you feel like you've eaten AND hydrates you...

Good luck..

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I can appreciate how annoying it is to have people eating in front of you when you're on a liquid diet, but for the rest of your life people are going to be eating in front of you and if you want to be successful, you will eventually have to be able to be ok being around what others eat without having it yourself. Only my three best friends know I had surgery 3+ years ago, but I have never asked them to modify what they eat so I don't have to be around foods that might mess up my diet. My one friend routinely does Paleo and another can't have gluten, but they never ask me to change how I eat because of what they can and cannot have. Although it's hard to imagine, soon enough you really won't even want that pizza. I didn't eat very well over the holidays, but I can say that I have no real urge to eat junk food the vast majority of the year and someone else eating pizza, Pasta, or cake in front of me, doesn't even cross my mind as being tempting to me anymore.

Right now, it's annoying, but in the future it will continue to happen, so you do eventually just not really notice it anymore.

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I'm going to tell a story here, because I am good at stories. Yesterday I visited my parents. I do this regularly, because I am a good son. I am not bragging, just stating the facts of the situation.

Every time I visit, my father takes me out for lunch. For reference, he is 82, coming up on 83 years old. We went to his favorite diner, one which we have been eating at since the mid 70s. I ordered the cheeseburger with nothing else. He ordered one of his favorites, a bowl of vegetable Soup with a toasted roll, and butter. The roll itself is close to 8" in diameter, and comes with a quarter pound of butter. He proceeded to finish it off with a HUGE slice of "homemade" French apple pie. It is made right there by the owners of the diner. I love French apple pie. It is one of my favorites.

I didn't care. He ate these things right in front of me, but he is my father, the man who raised me and taught me how to be a man myself. I was more interested in his company than what he ate. Who knows how long I will have the privilege of his company at his age? And isn't that the important part?

Learn to find the fulfillment in the people around you rather than the food they are eating. We need to eat to live, not live to eat.

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I ordered the cheeseburger with nothing else.

Yeah, but how much of that cheeseburger did you get down?

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@@81Kellogram I was able to eat the whole thing. They advertise them as 1/3 lb, which is before cooking. I'll call it 5 1/2 ounces to be generous. By the time it has been fried, it is easily down to between 4-5 ounces of meat.

Through careful experimentation, I also know that my sleeve will easily hold 3/4 cup of food. Even so, when I am out like this, my policy has been to eat very slowly (even slower than usual) and chew very well (gristle in cheap diner food, you know) and stop when I am getting close to that full feeling.

I spent close to half an hour chewing that thing up, but it all went down with no discomfort. I was also able to eat the tiny cup of cole slaw, tiny defined as about the size of a silver dollar and an inch high. The bun, I left on the plate.

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