Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Should I be upset?



Recommended Posts

Yesterday, I hung out with some friends and they all knew I was on the post op liquid diet. The weather wasn't too good outside and they were hungry and decided to order pizza. They started to order and mid-order asked if I was okay with it. Of course I wasn't but I felt stupid saying no so I said it was okay. They ordered it and ate it in front of me even forgetting that I couldn't eat it and offered me some after it came. Do I have a right to be upset about them knowingly ordering a food they know I like even though I said it was okay? I feel like if the roles were reversed I would have never done that to them.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This was the choice we made. Why should anyone else feel guilty or alter their life because of a choice we made?

It sucks the first time it happens but you get used to it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A big part of this journey is re-defining your relationship with food. In my case, my goal was that food and drink were no longer the centerpiece of any part of my life. For others, especially those with less extreme relationships with food, life will go on. My advice is to work on not letting it bother you. What difference does it make if they eat pizza? You don't need it, so just enjoy the company and don't focus on the food. I understand that it is easier said that done in the beginning, but no one said that this journey was easy.

Good luck!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

No, I don't think you have a right to get mad. If the visit as even more than 2 hours people want food. If you set out ground rules that you would only come if there wasn't food involved, that would be different. I fully expect to have to turn down, make excuses or arise late/after dinner to make my new life style work once I get there. And I know it will be hard and awkward.

Sent from my SM-G900W8 using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks everyone. I am reshaping how I look at food but I think it was an extra hard challenge being on the liquid diet. I just can't wait to chew something again.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You have the "right" to feel as you do. The question is whether the feeling is reasonable. Your friends asked for your input iand you withheld the truth. There's no way of knowing whether they'd have skipped pizza, but you had the option of going off to do something on your own for a while or staying and drinking your liquids. Majority rules and the world isn't going to stop for you. You say you wouldn't have "done" that to them. They really didn't "do" anything to you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

No you can't be upset. Just because you can't eat it doesn't mean they should have to alter their diet for you. Imagine you and another gastric friend invite one of your friends and take her to a place for gastric sleeve or bypass amd expect her to be ok. Ok not a great example but you get the drift this is the lifestyle you chose and yes sometimes it sucks but they didn't chose this. Do you think if you were further out and could have had a quarter slice of pizza or topping you would be this upset? If the answer is no. Then just chalk it up to a bad day. If you answer yes then those feelings maybe justified or there maybe a deeper issue. Either way you can feel whatever way you want...that is the great thing about feelings, you choose not them.

Sent from my SM-G935V using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't think you should be upset. Remember the world does not revolve around us - we need to adapt. I know it's easier said than done, but it is part of life. You were strong enough to decline the temptation, you're going have a great rest of your journey! Best of luck!

Sent from my SM-N910T using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Holidays have been hard being on pre-op diet, lots of food and food smells and gatherings with and around food, and yes in some ways I wish it would all go away and stay hidden from me but that is not reality. The reality is that I can't avoid food and I actually feel better now when I can say, nope I can't eat that, the scary part is later when you can choose to indulge and have to make that choice

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Please keep in mind that you chose to change your world. The world did not choose to change for you!! At least they were polite and caring enough to ask if you minded. You can't blame them if they took you at your word that you did not mind!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If you start dictating what others can eat they're just going to stop inviting you to the party.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@sill21. The surgery was our choice as well as our restricted eating ability. We don't expect to change others eating behavior because we are there

So please keep your eye on the prize.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Recent Topics

  • Most popular:

  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs
    ×