Skip to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

BariatricPal

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.
  • Appearance

Join BariatricPal free

  • Ask your own questions
  • Reply and follow topics
  • Message other members
  • No cost, no spam

No where else to vent

Sorry this is not really totally weight loss related but I have no real other outlet for this. Tomorrow is my wedding anniversary, or rather what should be my anniversary. It is a day I should be celebrating with my husband. But that joy and celebration was stolen from me by the person who promised he would never leave. Five months ago on what I thought was a normal Friday I went to work and my husband was taking our two younger kids to spend the day with their older sister. Well after he acted like everything was perfectly normal he came home from dropping off the kids and packed up everything of his from the house, he took half of the little bit of money we had and I got a text that said I'm sorry this isn't working for me anymore, I'm moving out. We had not been fighting, things had been fine or so I thought.

I try really hard to keep a happy face on for the kids but I am still grieving the loss of my marriage so much. When I first had surgery he was very supportive but it seemed as I got smaller he became more and more withdrawn. Things really felt like they shifted when I became smaller then him. He is a husky guy but has never been obese though. Thankfully I have never been really an emotional eater so through all of this I have still continued to lose weight and keep up with my goals but it is so hard.

I guess I don't really have a major point to this thread. I'm not really looking for sympathy or anything, just needed somewhere to vent for a minute. I don't have any real outlet.

  • Replies 78
  • Views 7.1k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Most Popular Posts

  • @@Fredbear I am not going to get into the whole thing about revenge, or who is right and who is wrong. None of us know the whole story. But I do have to write a few things in response to your posts

  • WLSResources/ClothingExch
    WLSResources/ClothingExch

    Reree, tomorrow I'll drink a toast, not to your anniversary, but to you and the fact that, despite the grief, you've had the strength to keep it together. It's unfair that your husband gave you no in

  • It takes a lot to share something like this. My heart aches for you hon. May comfort and peace just envelop every part of your being right now. Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Featured Replies

  • Author

Sorry this is not really totally weight loss related but I have no real other outlet for this. Tomorrow is my wedding anniversary, or rather what should be my anniversary. It is a day I should be celebrating with my husband. But that joy and celebration was stolen from me by the person who promised he would never leave. Five months ago on what I thought was a normal Friday I went to work and my husband was taking our two younger kids to spend the day with their older sister. Well after he acted like everything was perfectly normal he came home from dropping off the kids and packed up everything of his from the house, he took half of the little bit of money we had and I got a text that said I'm sorry this isn't working for me anymore, I'm moving out. We had not been fighting, things had been fine or so I thought.

I try really hard to keep a happy face on for the kids but I am still grieving the loss of my marriage so much. When I first had surgery he was very supportive but it seemed as I got smaller he became more and more withdrawn. Things really felt like they shifted when I became smaller then him. He is a husky guy but has never been obese though. Thankfully I have never been really an emotional eater so through all of this I have still continued to lose weight and keep up with my goals but it is so hard.

I guess I don't really have a major point to this thread. I'm not really looking for sympathy or anything, just needed somewhere to vent for a minute. I don't have any real outlet.

I'm sorry but your "husband " is a coward! Who does that?! I believe when someone leaves you because of physical reasons (lost weight/ gained weight) that person never really loved you.

But the good side of it is you have so much to look forward to! Sometimes it takes extreme measures for us to see the true colors of people. You will overcome this.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

I have no doubt that my husband did love me and in a way still does. There is no excuse for what he has done or how he has treated me but the demons he was battling simply won out sadly. Thank you for the encouragement at the end of your post. I am trying each day to overcome.

The same thing happened to my niece! Her husband moved all his stuff out when she wasn't home THEN called her and told her he wasn't happy and was leaving! She was devastated! A few years later she fell in love with a much nicer guy, got married and now has a beautiful little boy. Losing that first jerk was the best thing that happened to her in retrospect.

@@reree6898 Your husband did this in the most cowardly way possible. Please don't blame yourself. You can be so proud of yourself for your weight loss, and for doing this to get healthier for your family. I'm glad that you feel confident enough in us to share your vents here. We care and are here to listen anytime that you need to talk.

I hope that you have had a very Merry Christmas today.

Wow! I hear so many stories of husbands abandoning their wives after weight loss. My husband and I talked about this several times and I am praying that he understands I did this for a better quality bog life and nothing else.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

No lie, that was a chicken sh*t move on his part. This sounds like HIS problem, not yours. And this time of year too. You keep doing what you do and be there for the kids.

So much name calling and uninformed judgement...

You know what?

Sometimes just up and leaving is the right thing to do...

Sometimes it's the better option...

If stuff is done, it's done..

Yep, it can hurt...

But so can dragging sh*t on for weeks/months/years..

The ONLY dodgy thing I saw (if I've understood the OP) is taking all the money from the account - that's kinda low...

But as for the rest - grieve the end of your relationship and move on...

You'll be fine..

Good luck to you...

**EDIT** - Upon re-reading the original post I saw that the husband took half the money in the account...

So I'm ok with the guy's actions...

I'm sure it wasn't a decision he made lightly...

Edited by KindaFamiliar

  • Author

So much name calling and uninformed judgement...

You know what?

Sometimes just up and leaving is the right thing to do...

Sometimes it's the better option...

If stuff is done, it's done..

Yep, it can hurt...

But so can dragging sh*t on for weeks/months/years..

The ONLY dodgy thing I saw (if I've understood the OP) is taking all the money from the account - that's kinda low...

But as for the rest - grieve the end of your relationship and move on...

You'll be fine..

Good luck to you...

**EDIT** - Upon re-reading the original post I saw that the husband took half the money in the account...

So I'm ok with the guy's actions...

I'm sure it wasn't a decision he made lightly...

Everyone can have their own opinion but it is never ok to walk out on a marriage and children with no explanation or warning.

So much name calling and uninformed judgement...

You know what?

Sometimes just up and leaving is the right thing to do...

Sometimes it's the better option...

If stuff is done, it's done..

Yep, it can hurt...

But so can dragging sh*t on for weeks/months/years..

The ONLY dodgy thing I saw (if I've understood the OP) is taking all the money from the account - that's kinda low...

But as for the rest - grieve the end of your relationship and move on...

You'll be fine..

Good luck to you...

**EDIT** - Upon re-reading the original post I saw that the husband took half the money in the account...

So I'm ok with the guy's actions...

I'm sure it wasn't a decision he made lightly...

Birds of a feather flock together.

Actually when you take a vow in a marriage AND have children you literally don't have the right to just leave with no explanation. Of course your ok with his actions your not the woman he left after having surgery. Your not the one sleeping Alone in the bed wondering wtf you did to deserve that.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Marriage is just a contract; contracts get broken all the time. What do you think divorce is? :rolleyes:

Also, relationships can be ended by either party. You don't need the other person's consent to end it.

Having children complicates it, but in the end if you want to leave, you can leave. (Just expect a huge load of cr4p dealing with the children aspect of it, legally...)

Marriage is just a contract; contracts get broken all the time. What do you think divorce is? :rolleyes:

Also, relationships can be ended by either party. You don't need the other person's consent to end it.

Having children complicates it, but in the end if you want to leave, you can leave. (Just expect a huge load of cr4p dealing with the children aspect of it, legally...)

There's a difference between a business contract and a marriage. For example you don't sleep in bed with your boss and have kids as soon as you sign a contract. I feel sorry for the woman who fall victim to some of you manipulating ass men! Y'all stick up for each other like some Girl Scouts. Children are a blessing not "complications " God I hope y'all ain't breeding.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Marriage is just a contract; contracts get broken all the time. What do you think divorce is? :rolleyes:

Also, relationships can be ended by either party. You don't need the other person's consent to end it.

Having children complicates it, but in the end if you want to leave, you can leave. (Just expect a huge load of cr4p dealing with the children aspect of it, legally...)

You're just bored and writing these things to get a reaction, right? You can't be that cold and callous!! You should reread the original post. Her husband slunk out like a dog that peed on the rug!! A real man faces his wife and tells her he is leaving! And he doesn't take half of the money they have because he left his children there to be taken care of!! Nobody has to stay in a relationship if they don't want to be there, but they do have to have a backbone and explain their actions. They weren't in the "contract" alone and even when breaking a real contract, of any kind, an explanation is required!

No children for me, thanks. I want to (continue) enjoy(-ing) my life, not endure it.

"When all is said and done, usually more has been said than done. "

Edited by Fredbear

"Everyone can have their own opinion but it is never ok to walk out on a marriage and children with no explanation or warning."

I do agree with your "own opinion" statement @@reree6898

Each if us are entitled to such...

My point, however, is this -

I'm not aware of the full story...

I'm not aware of all the details...

So I'm not in a position to make judgments or call the guy names...

I've no doubt that you're hurting and you feel like sh*t...

But sometimes "this isn't working for me" IS the only explanation...

Again, I'm not assuming to know what is going thru the guy's mind...

The fact is, he MAY be a complete tool and be deserving of the petty name calling and character assassination that he's getting from the 'sisterhood'...

But maybe, just maybe, he's a guy who is struggling to put things into words and is doing (what he considers to be) the best he can for all involved...

(Please note, I am NOT including all the previous posters under the 'sisterhood' moniker. Just the overly outraged and militant ones - you'll each know who you are...)

I genuinely wish the best for you...

But I also hope that your (ex?)husband finds the happiness that he's seeking

Good luck to you both and to your family...

Edited by KindaFamiliar

Birds of a feather flock together.

Actually when you take a vow in a marriage AND have children you literally don't have the right to just leave with no explanation. Of course your ok with his actions your not the woman he left after having surgery. Your not the one sleeping Alone in the bed wondering wtf you did to deserve that.

You're right...

I'm "not the one sleeping alone etc..."

Nor do I have children...

In fact, I'm not even married...

However, I'm also not privy to the complete details of the OP's relationship...

I'm not knowing of all the ins and outs of the situation...

What I AM is capable of putting forward my opinion without resorting to judgmental name-calling and derogatory remarks...

What I AM is a person who is smart enough to know that there are ALWAYS two sides to a story...

I'm also smart enough to know that, upon reading one or two of the more recent posts, there's very little I can say that will be properly read or understood without resorting to the aforementioned childish antics...

Chalk another win up for ignorance...

Join the conversation

You can post as a guest; create a free account to track replies, follow topics, and be part of the largest weight loss surgery community.

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

Account

Navigation

Search

Search

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.