Sorry this is not really totally weight loss related but I have no real other outlet for this. Tomorrow is my wedding anniversary, or rather what should be my anniversary. It is a day I should be celebrating with my husband. But that joy and celebration was stolen from me by the person who promised he would never leave. Five months ago on what I thought was a normal Friday I went to work and my husband was taking our two younger kids to spend the day with their older sister. Well after he acted like everything was perfectly normal he came home from dropping off the kids and packed up everything of his from the house, he took half of the little bit of money we had and I got a text that said I'm sorry this isn't working for me anymore, I'm moving out. We had not been fighting, things had been fine or so I thought.

I try really hard to keep a happy face on for the kids but I am still grieving the loss of my marriage so much. When I first had surgery he was very supportive but it seemed as I got smaller he became more and more withdrawn. Things really felt like they shifted when I became smaller then him. He is a husky guy but has never been obese though. Thankfully I have never been really an emotional eater so through all of this I have still continued to lose weight and keep up with my goals but it is so hard.

I guess I don't really have a major point to this thread. I'm not really looking for sympathy or anything, just needed somewhere to vent for a minute. I don't have any real outlet.

@@reree6898

*hugs*. I'm really sorry to hear about your marriage, and the way it happened. Must have been the shock of a lifetime and to be blindsided. Sometimes the best of someone brings out the worst insecurity in others. It's sad.

It will take time but at some point you will be surrounded with heathy, secure people who encourage you and who are genuinely HAPPY for your success.

Sending thoughts and prayers to you.

Edited December 29, 20169 yr by The New Kel

Birds of a feather flock together.

Actually when you take a vow in a marriage AND have children you literally don't have the right to just leave with no explanation. Of course your ok with his actions your not the woman he left after having surgery. Your not the one sleeping Alone in the bed wondering wtf you did to deserve that.

You're right...

I'm "not the one sleeping alone etc..."

Nor do I have children...

In fact, I'm not even married...

However, I'm also not privy to the complete details of the OP's relationship...

I'm not knowing of all the ins and outs of the situation...

What I AM is capable of putting forward my opinion without resorting to judgmental name-calling and derogatory remarks...

What I AM is a person who is smart enough to know that there are ALWAYS two sides to a story...

I'm also smart enough to know that, upon reading one or two of the more recent posts, there's very little I can say that will be properly read or understood without resorting to the aforementioned childish antics...

Chalk another win up for ignorance...

Ummm you missed the whole he walked out on her and their children right after she had SURGERY. Now unless she's lying this fact alone makes him a COWARD, mmmk? And since you never been married or have children your comment would be considered "ignorance" since you have no clue what a marriage entails.

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While to some people marriage may just be another "contract" or "business deal" to me, and I thought to him, marriage was a covenant that we entered into when we stood before God, our family, and friends and vowed our lives to one another. This was not something I took lightly. As I said in the original post I just needed a moment to vent. When you have 3 children with someone and a 20 year history together it is devastating to say the least for them to literally be telling you on Thursday how much they love you and how beautiful you are then on Friday they walk out without any warning.

Thank you for the words of encouragement for those that gave them.

@@sunsetsue

I missed no point...

I read the original post several times..

I looked at all of the information at hand (including timing information)...

I even edited my post when I saw I'd made a mistake...

I was simply able to remove emotion from my view the situation.

That's all..

But your reference to my ignorance regarding marriage and children made me smile...

Mostly because it proved my earlier assertion (re some folks' lack of situational awareness before posting) to be somewhat accurate...

Keep fighting the fight @@sunsetsue

Whatever that fight may be...

@@reree6898

Again, I wish you and your family the best...

I will no longer take up space on YOUR venting thread..

Thank you

@@reree6898 I'm truly sorry you're going through this. As a woman, as a mother, a wife, I feel your pain. Although one shouldn't need to be in a relationship to feel sympathy for what you're experiencing. It's really sad however the best revenge is happiness. As women we are built to deal with pain but that's what makes us strong. From looking at your picture I can see you lost weight. Having challenges with weight issues and kicking butt shows that your a fighter.

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@@reree6898It's really sad however the best revenge is happiness.

Not sure why you have to imply that "he'll get his" and that she has to be "revenged." If he doesn't want to be married to her, why would she want to be married to him (unless she's some kind of doormat)?

It didn't work. Get divorced and then move on with your life. If you have view everything from the perspective of "getting your revenge," then you're just a broken, childish person.

Marriage is just a contract; contracts get broken all the time. What do you think divorce is?

Also, relationships can be ended by either party. You don't need the other person's consent to end it.

Having children complicates it, but in the end if you want to leave, you can leave. (Just expect a huge load of cr4p dealing with the children aspect of it, legally...)

You're just bored and writing these things to get a reaction, right? You can't be that cold and callous!! You should reread the original post. Her husband slunk out like a dog that peed on the rug!! A real man faces his wife and tells her he is leaving! And he doesn't take half of the money they have because he left his children there to be taken care of!! Nobody has to stay in a relationship if they don't want to be there, but they do have to have a backbone and explain their actions. They weren't in the "contract" alone and even when breaking a real contract, of any kind, an explanation is required!

Nope, I'm not trolling. Guys don't have the ridiculous cultural baggage associated with getting married that women buy into. I guarantee you none of us spent hours looking at dresses or wedding magazines, or discussing with our friends what our ideal wedding weight and hairstyle would be, and oh my goodness that tuxedo is just the one for my dream wedding/coronation of the prince with swans and our favorite flowers and dressing all of our friends in hideous outfits so as not to outshine "our special day."

We just don't buy into the cr4p.

Marriage is a legal contract, plain and simple, and like any contract, it can be broken. There may (or may not) be penalties for doing so (get a pre-nuptial agreement if you're not stupid). When you have additional entanglements (like property or children) it gets more of a pain in the @$$ to do so, but you can break the contract at any time. And really, there is no explanation required... "I don't want to be married to you anymore" is all that needs to be said (or implied).

Be an adult and deal with it. Save the whining for your shrink or obsequious girlfriends.

Edited December 30, 20169 yr by Fredbear

@@Fredbear I am not going to get into the whole thing about revenge, or who is right and who is wrong. None of us know the whole story. But I do have to write a few things in response to your posts. There are a lot of men out there who still believe in honor, integrity, and responsibility. I have no idea what the dynamics were in her marriage, but I do know that two people created not just a "contract", but a family. That family has been torn apart for whatever reason. The man involved still has responsibilities, whether he chooses to acknowledge them or not.

Regardless of what passed between him and his wife, the children are the ones who suffer the most in this. They will spend the rest of their lives wondering if it is something they did, and if they could have done better or made it right if they had just tried harder.

You might want to consider editing your post to reflect the fact that it is only your opinion. You sure as hell don't speak for me, or people like me.

Lmao I just have to laugh at the stupidity smh

The best thing to do when dealing with a narcissist is to ignore them because there is absolutely no reasoning, no empathy, nothing that even makes logical sense. Trying to explain anything to them is like attempting to teach a fish to run.

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Edited December 30, 20169 yr by sunsetsue

@@Fredbear I am not going to get into the whole thing about revenge, or who is right and who is wrong. None of us know the whole story. But I do have to write a few things in response to your posts. There are a lot of men out there who still believe in honor, integrity, and responsibility. I have no idea what the dynamics were in her marriage, but I do know that two people created not just a "contract", but a family. That family has been torn apart for whatever reason. The man involved still has responsibilities, whether he chooses to acknowledge them or not.

Regardless of what passed between him and his wife, the children are the ones who suffer the most in this. They will spend the rest of their lives wondering if it is something they did, and if they could have done better or made it right if they had just tried harder.

You might want to consider editing your post to reflect the fact that it is only your opinion. You sure as hell don't speak for me, or people like me.

And this@@Fredbear, is what a real man sounds like!! Not condescending, not boorish, not patronizing but with compassion and understanding of another person's grief, no matter the fault, no matter the reason!

@@Fredbear I am not going to get into the whole thing about revenge, or who is right and who is wrong. None of us know the whole story. But I do have to write a few things in response to your posts. There are a lot of men out there who still believe in honor, integrity, and responsibility. I have no idea what the dynamics were in her marriage, but I do know that two people created not just a "contract", but a family. That family has been torn apart for whatever reason. The man involved still has responsibilities, whether he chooses to acknowledge them or not.

Regardless of what passed between him and his wife, the children are the ones who suffer the most in this. They will spend the rest of their lives wondering if it is something they did, and if they could have done better or made it right if they had just tried harder.

You might want to consider editing your post to reflect the fact that it is only your opinion. You sure as hell don't speak for me, or people like me.

And this@@Fredbear, is what a real man sounds like!! Not condescending, not boorish, not patronizing but with compassion and understanding of another person's grief, no matter the fault, no matter the reason!

*shrug* Everything I post is either my own opinion or fact. You seem to overlook that at no point have I ever addressed the OP; my comments are directed solely at the hen brigade.

Lmao I just have to laugh at the stupidity smh

The best thing to do when dealing with a narcissist is to ignore them because there is absolutely no reasoning, no empathy, nothing that even makes logical sense. Trying to explain anything to them is like attempting to teach a fish to run.

Kind of like teaching a ignorant b**t* to read or think, amirite?

Again, *shrug*.

Edited December 30, 20169 yr by Fredbear

@@Fredbear I am not going to get into the whole thing about revenge, or who is right and who is wrong. None of us know the whole story. But I do have to write a few things in response to your posts. There are a lot of men out there who still believe in honor, integrity, and responsibility. I have no idea what the dynamics were in her marriage, but I do know that two people created not just a "contract", but a family. That family has been torn apart for whatever reason. The man involved still has responsibilities, whether he chooses to acknowledge them or not.

Regardless of what passed between him and his wife, the children are the ones who suffer the most in this. They will spend the rest of their lives wondering if it is something they did, and if they could have done better or made it right if they had just tried harder.

You might want to consider editing your post to reflect the fact that it is only your opinion. You sure as hell don't speak for me, or people like me.

And this@@Fredbear, is what a real man sounds like!! Not condescending, not boorish, not patronizing but with compassion and understanding of another person's grief, no matter the fault, no matter the reason!

*shrug* Everything I post is either my own opinion or fact. You seem to overlook that at no point have I ever addressed the OP; my comments are directed solely at the hen brigade.

Lmao I just have to laugh at the stupidity smh

The best thing to do when dealing with a narcissist is to ignore them because there is absolutely no reasoning, no empathy, nothing that even makes logical sense. Trying to explain anything to them is like attempting to teach a fish to run.

Kind of like teaching a ignorant b**t* to read or think, amirite?

Again, *shrug*.

No your not right you stupid disgusting low life piece of shit. Stop messaging me no one cares about your useless opinion. Before you try to insult someone calling them ignorant make sure you use proper grammar. Ignoranus! Ok I'm done with stupid old fuck face.

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*shrug* Everything I post is either my own opinion or fact. You seem to overlook that at no point have I ever addressed the OP; my comments are directed solely at the hen brigade.

I haven't overlooked anything. Every single post you make is a reflection of your character. You have a real way of shining through with what kind of person you really are on the inside.

@@LittleBill

Thank you for your perspective, showing that there are good men out there with honor. Your view is appreciated, hopefully also by the OP.

@Op, I'm sorry your vent thread turned into a thread where some are using it to debate. You deserve to be heard and supported.

@@LittleBill ... I just want to thank you as well... I was sitting here reading and thinking what the hell is the world coming to... Is this the new norm "marriage is just a contract"....? Smh

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Edited December 30, 20169 yr by Dee~Dee

@LittelBill you do set a classy example of a man with integrity, plus I love reading your messages always a positive vibe!

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