Sorry this is not really totally weight loss related but I have no real other outlet for this. Tomorrow is my wedding anniversary, or rather what should be my anniversary. It is a day I should be celebrating with my husband. But that joy and celebration was stolen from me by the person who promised he would never leave. Five months ago on what I thought was a normal Friday I went to work and my husband was taking our two younger kids to spend the day with their older sister. Well after he acted like everything was perfectly normal he came home from dropping off the kids and packed up everything of his from the house, he took half of the little bit of money we had and I got a text that said I'm sorry this isn't working for me anymore, I'm moving out. We had not been fighting, things had been fine or so I thought.

I try really hard to keep a happy face on for the kids but I am still grieving the loss of my marriage so much. When I first had surgery he was very supportive but it seemed as I got smaller he became more and more withdrawn. Things really felt like they shifted when I became smaller then him. He is a husky guy but has never been obese though. Thankfully I have never been really an emotional eater so through all of this I have still continued to lose weight and keep up with my goals but it is so hard.

I guess I don't really have a major point to this thread. I'm not really looking for sympathy or anything, just needed somewhere to vent for a minute. I don't have any real outlet.

@@KindaFamiliar and @@Fredbear really?

Why would you even come into a thread like this where a woman is seriously hurting and even say the shiat you did? Did you get your fees fees hurt by the "man bashing" or something? Did the name calling threaten your perceived manhood? Jeez.

Go sh*t on another thread.

Hi @@Babbs

Nice to see you.

I'd heard you had left.

Nice to see that the rumour mill is as unreliable as ever.

In response to your question, the short answer is 'No'.

There was no 'hurt' on my part.

I certainly don't feel the need to go into bat for someone just because they are of the male persuasion.

As I said, if the guys is a dick then he's a dick.

But my point was that ultimately, that's not for you, me, or any of the other folk in here who have absolutely no idea of the reality of the situation to decide.

It's up to the OP to decide...

For it is SHE ALONE who actually knows...

As I'm sure you're aware, as soon as you post something on an internet forum, you're going to get differing opinions and viewpoints.

I just thought there was an opportunity to put forward such in a manner which was non-confrontational and certainly not disrespectful...

If I have, in any way, cause the OP any distress or offence with my words the I wholeheartedly apologise to her.

That was by no means my intention, neither then nor now.

But as far as the rest of you go, meh...

Don't like what I say?

Ignore...

That's what you girls are always so keen to say isn't it??

Happy New Year to you and yours...

Hi @@Babbs

Nice to see you.

I'd heard you had left.

Nice to see that the rumour mill is as unreliable as ever.

In response to your question, the short answer is 'No'.

There was no 'hurt' on my part.

I certainly don't feel the need to go into bat for someone just because they are of the male persuasion.

As I said, if the guys is a d**k then he's a d**k.

But my point was that ultimately, that's not for you, me, or any of the other folk in here who have absolutely no idea of the reality of the situation to decide.

It's up to the OP to decide...

For it is SHE ALONE who actually knows...

As I'm sure you're aware, as soon as you post something on an internet forum, you're going to get differing opinions and viewpoints.

I just thought there was an opportunity to put forward such in a manner which was non-confrontational and certainly not disrespectful...

If I have, in any way, cause the OP any distress or offence with my words the I wholeheartedly apologise to her.

That was by no means my intention, neither then nor now.

But as far as the rest of you go, meh...

Don't like what I say?

Ignore...

That's what you girls are always so keen to say isn't it??

Happy New Year to you and yours...

I guess I just don't see the need to even say anything regarding her husband? The fact is he left, she's hurting and sad, and doesn't need a strangers perspective (especially someone who has never been married) about what his state of mind was. Honestly, who cares? The guy is an asshole. End of story. If the shoe was in the other foot, I'd call her an asshole for just up and leaving her husband (or wife) and kids, too.

I mean, really? You didn't mean to cause her offense or distress? What else is she going to feel when you say "Well, wait a minute here. Maybe, just maybe, he had a REASON to leave and take money out of the account"?

She was looking for an ear to rant. Not condescension.

**I guess I just don't see the need to even say anything regarding her husband? The fact is he left, she's hurting and sad, and doesn't need a strangers perspective (especially someone who has never been married) about what his state of mind was. Honestly, who cares? The guy is an a*****e. End of story. If the shoe was in the other foot, I'd call her an a*****e for just up and leaving her husband (or wife) and kids, too.

I mean, really? You didn't mean to cause her offense or distress? What else is she going to feel when you say "Well, wait a minute here. Maybe, just maybe, he had a REASON to leave and take money out of the account"?**

She was looking for an ear to rant. Not condescension.

Ok, so I've started typing a reply several times but each time it ends up sounding like I'm either attacking (Babbs - for the contradictions in your post, or the previous respondents for the aforementioned reasons) or defending myself.

My intention is neither attack nor defence as there's no requirement for either.

It's all a matter of opinion.

My point was, and remains, that none of us are in a position to REALLY know, as we aren't in the shoes of any of the folk involved.

So to finalise things in a suitable manner, I'll simply state what I assume you'd like to hear -

You're right Babbs...

As always, you're right...

Better?

And again, to the OP, I hope things work out for you and your family.

**EDIT**

The bit between the ** up there should have been a 'quote'.

Not sure what happened...

Anyway, it's 2355 here...

Happy New Year...

Edited January 1, 20179 yr by KindaFamiliar

@@Babbs thanks for looking out for me. When I posted I knew I ran the risk of kickback from varying opinions and so I just haven't worried about the expressed opinions much. I just needed an outlet to vent for a minute because I don't have anywhere else to do that. You are right in that I have been hurting and sad, more so then I ever thought possible.

Have a happy new year.

@@KindaFamiliar thank you for the apology. I haven't been distressed by anything said. I haven't agreed with all that was said but I'm not one to get myself tore up by what a stranger on the internet says. Have a happy new year.

A man that would abandon his family days before Christmas.......is no man.

That was one of the most cowardly acts imaginable.

Stay strong and stay on track. I suspect in the days and months ahead you will find a sense of relief that you no longer have to carry such a loser along in your life. You will be free to redefine yourself and reach for your goals and dreams.

You will find someone way more worthy of your time than the coward who snuck away.

Be true to your kids and remain true to yourself. It will work out in your favor at some point in the future.

You are young and taking steps to assure your health and fitness.......a lifetime of fun and happiness is ahead. I toast you now with my coffee mug....here's to good riddance and a stellar future !!!!!

A man that would abandon his family days before Christmas.......is no man.

That was one of the most cowardly acts imaginable.

Stay strong and stay on track. I suspect in the days and months ahead you will find a sense of relief that you no longer have to carry such a loser along in your life. You will be free to redefine yourself and reach for your goals and dreams.

You will find someone way more worthy of your time than the coward who snuck away.

Be true to your kids and remain true to yourself. It will work out in your favor at some point in the future.

You are young and taking steps to assure your health and fitness.......a lifetime of fun and happiness is ahead. I toast you now with my coffee mug....here's to good riddance and a stellar future !!!!!

Another good man!! I knew they were out there!!

A man that would abandon his family days before Christmas.......is no man.

That was one of the most cowardly acts imaginable.

Stay strong and stay on track. I suspect in the days and months ahead you will find a sense of relief that you no longer have to carry such a loser along in your life. You will be free to redefine yourself and reach for your goals and dreams.

You will find someone way more worthy of your time than the coward who snuck away.

Be true to your kids and remain true to yourself. It will work out in your favor at some point in the future.

You are young and taking steps to assure your health and fitness.......a lifetime of fun and happiness is ahead. I toast you now with my coffee mug....here's to good riddance and a stellar future !!!!!

Thank you for your kind words. He left a few months ago but December 22 was our anniversary so it was a hard day. I am trying to remain hopeful for a bright and positive future.

Thank you for your kind words. He left a few months ago but December 22 was our anniversary so it was a hard day. I am trying to remain hopeful for a bright and positive future.

I'm very sorry.

Hang in there.

You WILL prevail and come out of this and one day look back and be grateful for the changes.

2017 will be a much better year. Count on it.

Thank you @@Dub

@sunsetsue @Fredbear @KindaFamiliar Everyone knows there are 3 sides to a story..... His.. hers... and the truth.

Dub....he didn't leave her right before xmas.... he left over 5 months ago. Not that it makes it better. But, I have a hard time be leaving that there was NO signs of problems.. I bet if we were to ask him... he would tell a diff story. My husband and i separated 6 months ago and i know i told him on a number of occasions that i was not happy and that things need to change. He chose not to hear me and on the day i told him.... it hit him like a sack of rocks. He told me.... i know you told me you were unhappy, i chose not to hear you.

I still have times where im very emotional... after all Dec. 16 was our 26 year anniversary. So i do understand. Even though im the one that asked.. it is still hard to let go sometimes.

I would say to you @@reree6898 keep your chin up and keep say.... this will get better... i will prevail.

@@sunsetsue @@Fredbear @@KindaFamiliar Everyone knows there are 3 sides to a story..... His.. hers... and the truth.

Dub....he didn't leave her right before xmas.... he left over 5 months ago. Not that it makes it better. But, I have a hard time be leaving that there was NO signs of problems.. I bet if we were to ask him... he would tell a diff story. My husband and i separated 6 months ago and i know i told him on a number of occasions that i was not happy and that things need to change. He chose not to hear me and on the day i told him.... it hit him like a sack of rocks. He told me.... i know you told me you were unhappy, i chose not to hear you.

I still have times where im very emotional... after all Dec. 16 was our 26 year anniversary. So i do understand. Even though im the one that asked.. it is still hard to let go sometimes.

I would say to you @@reree6898 keep your chin up and keep say.... this will get better... i will prevail.

Thanks for the words of encouragement at the end of your post. I know that while no one else lives in our house and knows the "whole story" so to speak, I will say there were no signs from him that there were problems. He was telling me on Thursday how beautiful I was and how much he loves me, he spent Friday morning hanging out with our kids and joking with then then dropped them off with their sister and moved out without a word Friday afternoon.

@@reree6898 thats really sucks.... is he already with someone else?

You are a beautiful woman and only getting better....

I just know from MY experience.... we did have issues and i told him, but he didn't hear me. till it was too late

He claims he's not but who knows.

@@reree6898 Well one can say what they want.... doesn't make it true. It's hard to believe he doesn't. What does your gut say......