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I just had my final appointment and am now waiting for my approval from my Cigna insurance... sounds like I will have surgery in January! I have been very quiet about the process and only my husband and sister know. I really don't want to advertise that I'm having surgery but also don't want to lie about it. I'm having trouble decoding if i want to tell people about it... what are you experiences, has anyone kept this a secret. What are your experiences telling people good and bad?

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Prior to the surgery only my husband and adult kids knew. After the surgery I have been very open telling everyone, I even announced it on Facebook. BUT, I am a very open person and hope to remove some of the stigma surrounding weight loss surgery.

I didn't want anyone trying to talk me out of it or scare me before surgery.

Most people keep it a secret. Thin people are never going to understand, they think we should just have some self control, quit eating so much, and get off our butts and work out.

Fat people aren't going to be supportive either. They have no desire to see you lose weight while they get fatter and fatter.

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I'm getting sleeved on Tuesday. While others know I'm having surgery, many others have no idea what it's for. I told my adult child, my sister, brother, and two very close friends. I decided not to tell any others because out of the handful of people I told, I have two of them consistently trying to talk me out of it. I am not wanting to be talked out of anything, this is my decision and I want to go thru with it. I have heard "why can't you just do it yourself, I'll put you on a diet and get you working out, you're never going to eat normal food again, you're really not that big" and so on. What they fail to realize is I'm doing this for me and my health. According to my doctor, I am on the lower end of the required BMI but because of my comorbidities the insurance approved it. I have two auto immune diseases and slightly high pressure, seizures and thyroid problems. Getting this weight off will help me feel better but it's not being understood by the ones I told. I can't imagine telling everybody and the amount of negative feedback I would get at that point. I keep reminding myself I am doing this for me and it's time I work on myself.

There will be many reasons people try to talk you out of things, doesn't matter what it is. If you know this is the best decision for you then do it first and think about telling others later. Good Luck to you!

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Im telling people. I really dont care who knows

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I was just sleeved on DEC 5, I told everyone, even announced it on Facebook but I am a very open person and everyone who knows me knows better than to say anything negative to me

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Thank you.... my main thing is I really don't want to tell the people I work with because I know there will be a lot of talking. I was going to request the time off and just take personal time off. I'm just worried what I'll say when people begin to notice. I want to just be a better version of me, not the girl who had barbaric surgery. Not sure if that makes sense...

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I work in a very appearance-oriented field. I absolutely did not want to discuss this with my coworkers.

However, during my 3-month diet phase, I worked really hard and lost a lot. Everyone saw me restricting calories and working out. I only took two days off for surgery, so no one even knows I had it, nor do they suspect. After the initial large loss, I've been losing a steady 10 pounds a month, so no one is suspicious.

My family all knows, though.

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I posted this in another thread, but I'll say it again here! I told EVERYONE. I'm confident with my choice, they can hate all they want-- this is what's best for me!

Actually, I've even started a blog, too: www.becomingaloserblog.wordpress.com

Like @@laceemouse said, I want to help remove a lot of the stigma around this subject.

All that being said, this is your choice. Do what YOU are comfortable with.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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