When you are tired of discussing your weight loss....

picardy3 · September 17, 2007

I haven't posted in awhile, mostly because I've been finishing my Master's. :whoo:

But lately it seems the only thing people want to discuss with me is my weight loss. I had to buy new clothes for work this year, since everything I owned was falling off, and now people can actually see how much I've lost. I can't wear anything new without a comment from someone. Some have even stated that I need to stop losing or they won't recognize me anymore. I'm only in an 18/20 and still have 80-90 lbs til goal weight.

How can I convince people that there are other things to talk about besides what I look like and how much I've lost? The fact that I've finished my Master's seems to escape them and I'm more proud of that than the new clothes that I'm wearing.

Maybe this is partly a vent, I don't know, maybe I'm just confused at this stage in my journey. Has anyone else gone through this stage? Mostly I just smile at people and change the subject if possible. Any other ideas?

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Chickie · September 17, 2007

I politely as them not to talk about my weight loss with me any more. The voices in my head think they are a bit obsessed, and asked me to ask them if they had thought about getting help?

Failing that, I say that my weight loss, while fantastic, is not my whole life, and I do have other things I like to talk about. And I gently steer the conversation in the other direction. And when the conversation starts with "gee you have lost so much" I say yes I have, thank you, and move the conversation on.

blahblahblah · September 17, 2007

I would just immediately change the subject..after a few times, they will get the idea....

Unless they are thick...then they will just have to be told outright.

But...they are making conversation and truly probably think that they are being so supportive and nice when tey tell you how great you look. They don't realize that every other person you see feels the same way and it gets old after a while.

Meanwhile...I can't wait until people say something...it's been 50lbs and no-one save my family has said anything...and they knew I had it done so it doesn't count!

Best of luck...and most importantly...Congrats on your Masters...That is terrific. Dh has 4 more classes...Can't wait for the pay increase!!!

Lorraine

Alexandra · September 17, 2007

I would just immediately change the subject..after a few times, they will get the idea....
Unless they are thick...then they will just have to be told outright.

I agree. I HATE talking about my weight--on the way up or the way down--always have. It is just not a topic of conversation I will engage in except with very close friends, and even then, only rarely. When people I don't consider close friends ask I get a chilly tone in my voice and that seems to send the message that this is not something I'm going to be happy talking about.

That seems to shut them up.

green · September 17, 2007

While I often find the comments concerning my weight loss disconcerting and kind of tedious I am inclined to put up with them. Weight issues loom large in modern society. The media are full of reports on the growing numbers of people who are obese and most people these days are either battling the problem themselves or know people who are. When they see someone who has been successful in losing a lot of weight it is understandable that they will want to talk about this; they want to find out how this was done and they also genuinely do feel that they are being nice by noticing and handing out compliments.

They are unthinking, perhaps, and do not realise that we have become burnt out by having already received a boatload of these compliments and questions. And as for us, it can become unpleasant to find ourselves defined in other people's eyes pretty much solely by our body size. :tired

Still, in the early stages of our weight loss journeys most of us are waiting to hear this kind of positive feedback. I was at a bandster luncheon yesterday, and when one of the gang walked in she was showered with compliments. She later told a few of us how happy she was to hear them; she had lost a substantial amount of weight but had been getting zero feedback from outside.

Although getting your master's is a much more substantial achievement in your eyes it seems that it is your weight loss which most people can relate to. This is definitely a drag but understandable given the values of this society: it is a society that values sports, money, and looks over intellectual achievement. And perhaps most people feel that although they could never get a master's degree, they might be able to lose weight someday. We sure do live in populist times. :phanvan

Anyhow, I myself am inclined to accept the compliments and deal with the questions evasively.

A very big congratulations from Green on receiving your master's degree. This is something which I once had dreams of doing but I married a bum instead. :think This was a dumb move on my part.

Daisalana · September 17, 2007

I'm a little with Rainer.. I guess it's what they're saying, depends on what you want to hear!!

I work with my entire family, including DH. So everyone sees me every day. They have blatently said, they don't notice the weightloss since they see me all the time.

So, I send them e-mails with my before & after pic (of the month).

And they go WOW! And that's that. DH has made a comment when it comes to sex, that he notices then.

People in the back of our plant, who don't see me often, will once in a while say they can tell I've lost weight, ask me how much, etc.

First, I love to hear that they can tell- because sometimes I can't tell myself

When they ask how much, I get dodgy.

And on smoke breaks, I don't like when people just want to talk about how much more I've lost since xxx. Especially since I'm in perma-bandster hell till my next surgery. And word spread like wildfire about me having to do a revision surgery, and I know that makes a lot of people think "She should have done the other one", or "It's not going to work".. the last one is how I feel right now. Just tough spots, and wish it wasn't a hot topic.

picardy3 · September 18, 2007

I really appreciate the feedback. It's just a few people that have really been getting on my nerves lately because my weight loss is ALL they can think about.

When I run into people that I haven't seen in ages I have no problem with them mentioning that I'm looking great. It's the people that I see EVERY day who have a comment just because I'm wearing new clothes.

For the most part, I don't have a problem discussing my surgery or my weight loss. There are probably more total strangers out there who know my starting weight and have seen my scars than in my family. I don't mind doing my part to help educate others on what I've done and how it's worked for me.

The comments are beginning to die down, thank goodness, since I've now worn all of my new clothes to work and people aren't seeing something new everyday.

I think I just needed to get this off my mind and see how others were dealing with it. Of course it will all start again once I hit my next goal because I told everybody that I'm getting diamond earrings when I get to 200. :whoo: But then they'll be looking at my ears and not the rest of my body.

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OH Juli · September 19, 2007

I LOVE THE EARRINGS AT 200!!!!

That's fantastic.

Today, a good friend said to me, "You're just tiny!" and I was really ho hum about it...yeah, yeah...I was distracted and she thought she offended me. I had to tell her I've heard it so much that I forgot my manners and thanked her for being kind.

I find it's easier to steer the conversation away from me by saying, "Thanks for your kind words. How are you?" And when people as me how much I've lost I say I never tell that. It's funny because I have it posted here! And actually if you didn't know me last year I'm inclined to tell you my numbers...but the coworkers don't know my stats. And that's fine with me.

I understand the vent. Do it all you want!

And CONGRATULATIONS on the Masters.

ParaGirl · September 19, 2007

I have kept mum about my surgery just for this reason. I don't want my weight to be the topic of every conversation I have with people.

annieM · September 19, 2007

Many congrats on your masters degree.

I don't know what it is like for people to comment on my weight loss, because I'm still waiting for that. I can imagine that it is annoying not only because of the automatic thought- they thought i was really fat before, but because we are used to just going about our day without any attention brought to ourselves.

Understand too, however, that losing weight is a novelty. So few people do it when so many attempt it, try it, obsess about it. When someone really does it, people are somewhat shocked.