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Today is my anniversary. And I swear I must have seen the same lame Zales commercial 50 times. My divorce will be final soon, but I am still going through the grieving process. My pre op diet starts Jan 10th and my surgeons nurse has asked me to gain as much weight as I can until then. The ending of my marriage has been very difficult for me to handle. And I've been dropping weight too quickly.

Finally today is almost over!!!

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I am so sorry, divorce is so tough. The divorce diet is awful! Prayers for you.

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Thank you. It's is awful.

Today is the future I created yesterday!!! One day at a time.

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So sorry to hear that. I am afraid of that happening with me and my wife due to me having the surgery.

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So sorry ! My marriage is struggling terribly and my husband recently told me he wants a divorce. It is emotionally draining.

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I'm so sorry. If you need someone to talk to or just listen I'm here. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. I just remember long ago how easy being single was. I just want to be happy and carefree again.

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So sorry to hear that. I am afraid of that happening with me and my wife due to me having the surgery.

I'm so sorry. Why is it because of surgery?

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She seems to act differently since I had the surgery. I am not sure how to take it.

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She seems to act differently since I had the surgery. I am not sure how to take it.

I would definitely ask her if something is wrong. Maybe it's just her own insecurities. She might be thinking you're getting your sexy back ???? and she might loose you. You just never know what's going through someone's heart.

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That is what I was planning on doing. Thanks for the advise, I appreciate that.

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That is what I was planning on doing. Thanks for the advise, I appreciate that.

Anytime!

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@@Jazzzyjay - That process was the worst time of my life. It took about a year to get to a new normal. During that time of healing my body, soul, finances, house, kids et.al. I did NOT date. Why go into a potential relationship with all that sticky residue. There are bottom feeders of both sexes who will worm into your life if you are not careful. Once I had some clarity and perspective I put myself back on the dating market. BTW, waiting until you are healed is not only the responsible thing to do for yourself, it is also a nice thing to do for others. Too soon after a breakup and you might just smash another human beings heart by accident. Good luck.

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I'm so sorry. My surgery is scheduled for Jan 17th. I haven't even had the surgery and my husband is already threatening divorce. Like what the heck?? I love this man more than life itself but hes convinced I will find someone new. Its making me second guess my decision to have the surgery.

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I can understand the feeling. My husband walked out 5 months ago today with out any warning. I was at work and got a text that he moved out. My wedding anniversary is next week and the divorce will be final in January. I put on my happy face most of the time but really feel like I'm falling apart inside still. Just keep trying to stay focused on the positive and take it day at a time. That's all any of us can do.

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@@Jazzzyjay - That process was the worst time of my life. It took about a year to get to a new normal. During that time of healing my body, soul, finances, house, kids et.al. I did NOT date. Why go into a potential relationship with all that sticky residue. There are bottom feeders of both sexes who will worm into your life if you are not careful. Once I had some clarity and perspective I put myself back on the dating market. BTW, waiting until you are healed is not only the responsible thing to do for yourself, it is also a nice thing to do for others. Too soon after a breakup and you might just smash another human beings heart by accident. Good luck.

Oh I am in no way shape or form interested in dating at all!! My marriage messed my head up pretty bad. I was controlled and abused. I completely lost myself. The constant chaos became normal to me. I'm damaged goods and will be for a very long time. My focus is healing all that is broken in me as well as my son. That in itself is going to take a whole lot of work and self discovering. I'm starting with...what inside of me (consciously or subconsciously) thinks I deserve the type of treatment. I'm finding that answer goes pretty deep. And needs professional help and time.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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