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Nervous and my Dad is NOT helping matters any



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Here's my answer to why I chose the surgery.

http://www.theantichick.com/2016/08/05/the-easy-way-out/

I'm a nurse and have done the research, and diet/exercise alone for most people does not work long term.

Also

http://www.theantichick.com/2016/09/11/three-weeks-in-my-sleeve/

The changes with the sleeve are really making a HUGE change in how I interact with food. I'm working on a new post and hopefully will have it up over the weekend talking about how this is changing my emotional dependence on food.< /p>

What a great blog you have! You express a lot of the same thoughts I have about WLS.

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My daughter is a nurse and she understands. But I know she is worried about me being able to make

the commitment it is going to take for me to do this. But I also have some friends that think I just

haven't tried hard enough. I had qualified for surgery 4 years ago and then didn't have it done because

I let others and family members take precedent over me ( and my need to take care of myself first). I let guilt

and their ability to make me feel like I was not worthy of taking care of myself first because they needed

me and if I were recovering from surgery I might not be able to do the things that they wanted done.

I wish I had went through with it 4 years ago. But I also got the impression that if I lost weight I would be

"more attractive" and then I would not be the one that they always could put down (some sort of envy and

elevating themselves over me). Sick huh?...But I am going to do this to make sure I am around for my

daughter's wedding and for future grandchildren. Most of all I am going to care of me. Because at the

rate I am going I am not going to be around for anyone.

I know you are worried but you need to do this for you and your health. And that will be the best thing

for your father and your son. And believe me, I have so much doubt in me. But every time I get those

nagging thoughts. I am going to tell myself I can do this. And I am worth any inconvenience it may cause

other people in my family. And if that doesn't work, I am going to log on to this site and read and post and

get my spirits back up. If you need support, please post and I will definitely try to encourage you and hopefully

you can encourage me and all of us who are on this journey can help each other.

Good luck but don't let anyone tell you it is better to not do something about it. You have to realize that

you are just taking care of you so that you will be able to be there for your family.

I hope this helps....I am in the same boat.

I'm happy for you. And those same people are talking you out of it we'll see how much better you feel and look. You'll do great. Good luck

Sent from my LGUS991 using the BariatricPal App

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My daughter is a nurse and she understands. But I know she is worried about me being able to make

the commitment it is going to take for me to do this. But I also have some friends that think I just

haven't tried hard enough. I had qualified for surgery 4 years ago and then didn't have it done because

I let others and family members take precedent over me ( and my need to take care of myself first). I let guilt

and their ability to make me feel like I was not worthy of taking care of myself first because they needed

me and if I were recovering from surgery I might not be able to do the things that they wanted done.

I wish I had went through with it 4 years ago. But I also got the impression that if I lost weight I would be

"more attractive" and then I would not be the one that they always could put down (some sort of envy and

elevating themselves over me). Sick huh?...But I am going to do this to make sure I am around for my

daughter's wedding and for future grandchildren. Most of all I am going to care of me. Because at the

rate I am going I am not going to be around for anyone.

I know you are worried but you need to do this for you and your health. And that will be the best thing

for your father and your son. And believe me, I have so much doubt in me. But every time I get those

nagging thoughts. I am going to tell myself I can do this. And I am worth any inconvenience it may cause

other people in my family. And if that doesn't work, I am going to log on to this site and read and post and

get my spirits back up. If you need support, please post and I will definitely try to encourage you and hopefully

you can encourage me and all of us who are on this journey can help each other.

Good luck but don't let anyone tell you it is better to not do something about it. You have to realize that

you are just taking care of you so that you will be able to be there for your family.

I hope this helps....I am in the same boat.

I'm pretty much in the same boat with my family. I got into a huge fight with one of my sisters this past weekend because I finally got scheduled to have surgery. Many of my friends close to me also said they think it's because to this particular sister who's always been the skinniest, that she might see me losing weight as a threat, because she'll no longer be the "skinny- pretty" sister.

She basically told me she "doesn't trust my doctor" because I'm choosing to have surgery with the surgeon I picked almost 2 years ago in Rhode Island versus a doctor in Boston since I've moved out here. (Mind you my father practices medicine with my surgeon and works at the same hospital)

My mother also has expressed her discontent with me getting surgery and has opted not to support me. My father initially didn't support me but since has changed his mind. He recognizes that at this point with the extra weight I am no longer living my life but basically just going through the motions day in and day out.

I had to actually say to my sister who tried to root her argument in "you haven't lost any weight since you started and won't take criticism. you need to go to the gym now" I turned and said to her "because you've been obese your entire life & struggle with the constant back, ankle and shin pain"

I've decided I'm just living for me and doing what I need to do to be healthier. No one will have my best interest at heart like I do. They do not walk in my shoes, they know of my struggles, but have not experienced them. If you feel this surgery is the right thing for you, I wouldn't let anyone get in the way of that.

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My daughter is a nurse and she understands. But I know she is worried about me being able to make

the commitment it is going to take for me to do this. But I also have some friends that think I just

haven't tried hard enough. I had qualified for surgery 4 years ago and then didn't have it done because

I let others and family members take precedent over me ( and my need to take care of myself first). I let guilt

and their ability to make me feel like I was not worthy of taking care of myself first because they needed

me and if I were recovering from surgery I might not be able to do the things that they wanted done.

I wish I had went through with it 4 years ago. But I also got the impression that if I lost weight I would be

"more attractive" and then I would not be the one that they always could put down (some sort of envy and

elevating themselves over me). Sick huh?...But I am going to do this to make sure I am around for my

daughter's wedding and for future grandchildren. Most of all I am going to care of me. Because at the

rate I am going I am not going to be around for anyone.

I know you are worried but you need to do this for you and your health. And that will be the best thing

for your father and your son. And believe me, I have so much doubt in me. But every time I get those

nagging thoughts. I am going to tell myself I can do this. And I am worth any inconvenience it may cause

other people in my family. And if that doesn't work, I am going to log on to this site and read and post and

get my spirits back up. If you need support, please post and I will definitely try to encourage you and hopefully

you can encourage me and all of us who are on this journey can help each other.

Good luck but don't let anyone tell you it is better to not do something about it. You have to realize that

you are just taking care of you so that you will be able to be there for your family.

I hope this helps....I am in the same boat.

I'm pretty much in the same boat with my family. I got into a huge fight with one of my sisters this past weekend because I finally got scheduled to have surgery. Many of my friends close to me also said they think it's because to this particular sister who's always been the skinniest, that she might see me losing weight as a threat, because she'll no longer be the "skinny- pretty" sister.

She basically told me she "doesn't trust my doctor" because I'm choosing to have surgery with the surgeon I picked almost 2 years ago in Rhode Island versus a doctor in Boston since I've moved out here. (Mind you my father practices medicine with my surgeon and works at the same hospital)

My mother also has expressed her discontent with me getting surgery and has opted not to support me. My father initially didn't support me but since has changed his mind. He recognizes that at this point with the extra weight I am no longer living my life but basically just going through the motions day in and day out.

I had to actually say to my sister who tried to root her argument in "you haven't lost any weight since you started and won't take criticism. you need to go to the gym now" I turned and said to her "because you've been obese your entire life & struggle with the constant back, ankle and shin pain"

I've decided I'm just living for me and doing what I need to do to be healthier. No one will have my best interest at heart like I do. They do not walk in my shoes, they know of my struggles, but have not experienced them. If you feel this surgery is the right thing for you, I wouldn't let anyone get in the way of that.

Well have to say I think you're making the right decision. My X told me I shouldn't have the surgery because I can lose weight without surgery what the problem is I can gain it back and just as easy. And I would always hit a wall on how much I can lose and I have a lot to lose or did. Still got quite a bit more but I lost a lot already. Again when the people see you feeling good looking good and doing good they will either come around. Or they weren't never going to anyway. Stay strong and keep it up and you'll be fine.

Sent from my LGUS991 using the BariatricPal App

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      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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