Afraid I'm going to suck at this

[KaiserKid 81]

Hi everyone,

I'm getting sleeved in 2 weeks! Starting pre-op diet Saturday (no idea what it entails - going in for NUT appt on Friday).

I'm having a lot of anxiety about succeeding at this, and doing it right. Not so worried about the surgery and immediate post-op, because I know I can't do much about how my body reacts to a major surgery. It is what it is.

But the weeks and months after... I'm worried I won't acclimate. I'm worried that I'll never re-learn how to eat food, or get bad reflux, or will get gallstones. I've done so much research on this beforehand, and I know what I'm SUPPOSED to do, but I'm scared I just will fail miserably in actually doing it. Really wondering how much of this I will learn naturally and how much of it I have to be 100% conscious of at all times. Every post-op person on these boards seem so... "with it" and that they've figured it all out. I'm afraid of not being one of those people.

Can someone tell me if my fears are valid? Am I just crazy?

[laceemouse 631]

My surgery is on Monday. I think a lot of people have the "what if I fail?" or "what if it doesn't work for me?" thoughts going in. I just keep telling myself I trust my surgeon and his staff and I will take it one day at a time, just doing what they say. They have all kinds of experience with people of all ages, different starting weights, slow losers, etc. I will do what they say and keep asking for help if I need it.

[KristenLe 5,980]

@@KaiserKid You're not crazy. I have a fear of failing as well. I bet many of us do. It's a full-time job to eat and drink at first - but I am assuming it becomes more routine at some point. I never thought I'd be able to stick with the pre-op diet and I did - 100% without cheating at all. I really think that helped me be prepared for post-op. I'm only a little more than a week post-op - but things are easier than I expected (so far anyway). I'm just taking it one day at a time.

[heidikat72 935]

Take a deep breath. I think most of us have had this fear of failure with the surgery at some point - or even at several points. Let's face it, we've failed at all other attempts before surgery so it is in our heads that we could fail here too.

Some of the things you mentioned, you have absolutely NO CONTROL over - so accept that. I'm talking about reflux or developing gallstones. If they are going to happen, they will. With the reflux - take your PPI, it may take some dosage adjustments to figure out what works best for you but you and your doctor will figure it out. If you do have a gallbladder attack - guess what? They can remove your gallbladder - a very common surgery. I know no one wants to have another surgery, but if you need your gallbladder removed at some point - it isn't the end of the world. So let go of your fear of those - they can be dealt with, IF they ever occur.

Speaking for myself - I don't have it all figured out - I am still figuring it out, and there are always new things to figure out the further out I get. It will be a constant learning process for what works FOR YOU. You don't have to have it all figured out right now. You will need to be mindful of your eating habits forever - that's part of a healthy lifestyle. It will take commitment and will be an adjustment but it can be done.

It is completely natural to have these fears. But try to channel that energy you are putting into being fearful, into learning and making conscious decisions and you will be successful. And remember - YOU ARE WORTH THE EFFORT.

I think it is particularly helpful on the tough days to have a list to refer to of why you are doing this and what you are looking forward to that the obesity has kept you from. I know this helps motivate me and keeps me from giving into the fears and giving up.

Hang in there! You can do this!

[Babbs 14,681]

I'm not sure what posts you're seeing where people are 'with it'? I see post after post of people who are unsure, confused scared and frustrated. We all were at first, and still are at times!

Everyone is different, but honestly, whether or not you succeed is 100% mental. You are going to go through all the feelings I listed above, but the key is finding ways of overcoming them to keep moving forward. Research, listen to others who have been there, get professional therapy or join a support group. Try different things until you feel you're doing what works. Learn to adapt, and adapt in order to learn. Find not what works for everyone else, but what works for YOU. Don't get hung up on what's "right" or "wrong". Learn to FORGIVE yourself for the many mistakes you're going to make. I find the people who struggle get stuck in one of those emotional traps and can't figure out how to move forward, or are not willing to.

Do whatever it takes to figure out how to be successful, and you will be. Like learning to ride a bike, you'll be wobbly and may fall a few times at first, but once you get the hang of it, you just keep peddling until you get to where you wanna go!

[Gungirl1385 63]

Your fears are valid. This is a major change but I promise it's worth it I'm 10 days out and lost 17lbs and its amazing. My suggestion is walk as much as you can and read up look at you tube and see everyone's story that's what I did watching people lose weight has been amazing. To see how much people had changed in a short time.

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[The New Kel 1,312]

Your fears are valid, but I think you will see post surgery that your new sleeve tool will really, REALLY launch you into success. For me, I like to feel good and not sick. Therefore, I am daily discovering what feels good (soft, healthy Protein mostly). Your body will tell you what it wants, and I would't be scared about failing. You will begin to want the good stuff.

Post surgery, don't be too hard on yourself. You might have craving for crap (it's mental), but that goes away. With your new stomach, it is hard to "fail", unless you deliberately try and sabotage yourself, which from what you wrote I can tell you don't want to do.

I think your confidence will sail after you get used to your new life post sleeve. And when the clothing sizes start to drop your confidence in yourself will grow even stronger.

Good luck! You'll do great.

[OKCPirate 5,323]

@@KaiserKid - actually it is really good to get all that worked out in advance. Figure out the worst cases possible, what it takes to minimize the risk. If you can come to grips with everything that could go wrong it makes you stronger and sets you up for long term success. I am not worried about you, it's the polianish people that I'm worried about.

[Nikosmama06 59]

When I first started I worried about the same things. I think lots of us do. And you are right. There are some people who act so "with it" in regards to following the plan, but most of the ones I've seen had surgery ages ago. Therefore, they may not remember exactly what they did wrong. All they know is that they are happy with themselves now, so they focus on what they did right. This surgery is not the cure-all--it's the starting point! You will have a new stomach and that really helps put things in perspective so you can be able to make the right choices and CURE yourself.

For me, head hunger was crazy the first few weeks and I also kept comparing myself to the others on here who had no appetites or could eat less than I could. I had a pep talk with my NUT who assured me I was on the right track and as long as I listened to my body and ate the right foods I would lose. It has been 6 weeks at 2 days since my surgery and I have lost 40 lbs!! I eat when I'm hungry, I don't measure my food, I focus on maximizing my Protein intake and minimizing my carbs. Just do you, boo!! It will wall work out

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