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Nobody Thinks I Need Weight Loss Surgery



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I weighted 209 the highest and bmi 37 and I felt I needed the surgery cause I was on yoyo and after my pregnancies gained a lot and was almost impossible to lose the extra weight! I tried all the different diets, exercise, different dietitians, juicing, running, diets pills and what ever you imagine, I tried and lost few pounds and regained doubles! When I decided to do the gastric bypass my Gp supported me at 100% and ive got accepted by the hospital within 6 months of my application! I am a Canadian and did it in Canada, i didn't loose as much or as fast as others loosing here but up to know which is 18 months, I lost 55 pounds and presently at 155 and still need to lose another 20lb and working really hard on it and getting there slowly! I am vey happy of my decision and enjoying my new life style and I look great and feel great! If you feel you want to do it, do it no matter what! It's your life and you are in control! Be brave and Good luck!

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My doctor told me that I should weigh 300 pounds before doing it. Um no that was not happening. I was 231 and I'm 5 5.

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Smh......tell that dr to kick rocks

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I am sorry you are not finding any support from family and friends. It took me years to decide to have surgery without my husband's support. I am so very glad that I finally did it and amazingly when I told him I was doing it even if he didn't approve he changed his mind and did support me. I think I sound like I am a paid by Bariatirc Pal sometimes when I post but they were so incredibly attentive and caring. There is no way I could have had anything like as much personal care in this country. Do what you need to for your long term health . It is your body and your life. Hopefully along the way someone will learn enough about the need for surgery and the quality of care in Mexico to support you. I wish you all good luck and do talk to Henry again.

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@@Tierra T Tij - I'm not 100% on this, but I don't think they can refuse you a referral unless you no longer have insurance that they take. If they don't take your insurance that makes sense. If your current insurance is one they take and they are refusing your request for a new referral for new/different insurance - I don't know what you've done at this point, but I'd get a new doctor or contact your insurance to let them know what's going on. I'd go ballistic on my Primary staff if that happened to me - but he's really all for the surgery, so he'd give me 50 referrals if I needed it, luckily I didn't.

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Five years ago, when I was 19, my dad stopped me from getting surgery. I was 5'4, 220 pounds, BMI of 37.8, with health concerns that my insurance at the time considered factors that would approve me for surgery (PCOS, hypothyroid, pre-diabetic).

Now, at 24, I have my own health insurance, and have almost 40 more pounds on my body, putting me at a BMI of 44. And have those conditions gotten worse? You betcha! And who has to deal with that everyday? ME. Not my dad. Not my sisters. Not anyone else would would have anything to say about this surgery. I am the person who is in this skin, I am the person who looks in the mirror everyday and doesn't know how to feel about what I see. This life is mine, and so is this decision.

Of course, this is so much easier said then done, and I'm grappling with how to tell my dad that this is something I'm doing again, and this time he can't stop me. But regardless, this is something for me, not him. Not my family.

Bottom line: I wish I did this five years ago. I wish I hadn't been such a pushover. Do something for yourself. You're worth it.

ETA: words are difficult, apparently..

Edited by recreatingcate

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One thing you find out about life is that you're not always going to have the support of others but it's very important in life that you always support yourself your needs and your desires your health is not a need it is not a desire it is a must don't listen to anyone but yourself have the surgery it would be the best thing you ever done for yourself sometime people are judgemental but that doesn't mean you allow them to judge you good luck I'm 6 months out I started at 236 pounds I'm 5 feet tall I have lost 75 pounds not only do I feel better look better I have the judge myself as worthy of being successful healthy and worthy of loving myself.

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@@Tierra T Tij,

This is always a difficult situation. First, try to remember that they are all on your side in the sense that they want what is best for you. Unfortunately, they do not agree what is best for you. Your grandmother may not be able to perceive that her grand-daughter is overweight. Your friend may just see you as YOU and not as YOU plus extra weight.

And your doctor may be among the many, many primary care doctors who have no idea how to approach obesity, or who do not have a clue what weight loss surgery is, or they feel that it is your fault that you are overweight. Do you really need your doctor to be behind your RNY? If yes, then you may need to find a more supportive doctor. However, I suspect you do not need your primary care doctor to support your RNY; it’s a surgeon who will do the surgery, not your doctor.

As for going to Mexico, it is extremely scary when people first hear about it. We hear so much about crime and poverty there, but we do not hear much about the great things it has to offer, like weight loss surgery at prices you can actually afford with quality of care and surgery as good as in the U.S. Maybe once you explain to them how the process works and why you are sure it is safe, and maybe even invite one of them to be your companion when you go for your procedure.

Is there anyone else who can provide the support you need? A different friend or family member? If not, can you join a local bariatric surgery support group and see if you hit it off with anyone there?

So, you have to do what is best for you. Consider the reasoning behind why your grandmother, friend, and doctor are against your RNY, and decide whether they are right or whether you still want the surgery. Then do what’s best for you!

Good luck.

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I would find another PCP. I do not understand why your doctor would say you don't need it. My doctor was happy about me having it. I only told a few people about my surgery, and all of them were supportive. Even if they were not supportive, I was still having the surgery. I was 5'4 and 256 lbs and after a lifetime of weight issues, I knew I could not lose w/out help.

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I REALLY wish somebody would care and I just feel so alone in this.

YOU alone need to be the "somebody" that cares.

And you ARE alone in this.

You, alone put the weight on and you alone will be responsible for doing what it takes to get it off. You're gonna be alone at night when the urges to eat more strikes you. You're gonna be alone on that treadmill or lifting weights or jogging.

Your're gonna be alone measuring only the few ounces of food for meals. You're gonna be alone when walking the grocery aisles....passing up all the junk food. You're gonna be alone standing on the scale and it hasn't moved in weeks.

So if you do "care" about yourself. Get used to being alone and get strong and focused. You have what is takes to do this alone.

And don't worry about the alone part later.........Everybody is gonna notice you!!! ;)

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So, I've talked with Bariatric Pal MX one day and was feeling excited to try to be able to get the roux e y Gastric Bypass. But then happiness turned to sadness when I asked my family members if either of them could go with me to Mexico. They were like "no you shouldn't go, it's dangerous in Mexico that's like going to Iraq for your surgery." My grandmother, friend, and primary care doctor all agree that I don't need surgery. I REALLY wish somebody was on my side because it's hard going through all this without nobody to be a support.I just want to cry. I'm 5'4 and weigh 280.2 with a frame in between small and medium but I have small feet and hands. It's like I lose weight and gain weight VERY quickly and i'm tired of it. I feel like NOBODY wants to listen to my reasons of why I REALLY want weight loss surgery. I've been at this for more than 10 plus years of trying lose weight because I've been unsuccessful in EVERY single diet I have did, including the current diet I'm on only with just curbing my appetite and doing a lot of exercise. The main reason I want weight loss surgery so I could get my foot fixed because I've been having problems with it from a prior injury and want to be thinner to make sure I don't injure myself again after my foot surgery. I REALLY wish somebody would care and I just feel so alone in this.

I get this completely..I'm 5,4, 268 and bmi morbid obese for my frame..and I made a mistake and told 2 ppl at work..very private person..both happy for me at the time but closer to my leave 1 seems resentful of my decision by making weight option comments to other employees when don't know why I'm taking off..I realize my journey is mine as well as my struggle was..it took me 12 yes or more to make my decision and I have no regrets for my Nov 9 date..good luck to you and as long as you doing this for you and making great decisions for tour life style changeITS ALL GOOD????

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Hi my name is Clara I had the same experience from my family I felt so alone I went to Mexico the end of August. They did a wonderful job I never regretted it for a minute I lost 40 pounds so far and I feel wonderful. don't let anyone tell you you don't need to lose weight you're the only one that can answer a question how do you feel how does your close fit are you tired all the time are you ashamed of how you look what I'm trying to say is do what makes you happy and be true to yourself no one has to live your life but you. I hope everything goes well for you. And Mexico is not as bad as a lot of people think it is they pick me up at the airport they took me where I had to go I was never left alone and I never felt unsafe good luck to you and God bless. Please don't waste any more years you know what you want you have to go get it now. Good luck Clara

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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