male only Idiot dater (Rant warning)

[OKCPirate 5,323]

Saw the most idiotic guy on a date tonight. I just wanted to smack the young twit. He thought he was being thoughtful asking his date what she wanted, where to go. He was peppering her with questions, trying to be sensitive to her feelings. What an idiot, bless his heart.

Always remember, women use both sides of their brains all the time. This means they are not only wondering what might taste good but how you feel about what she suggests and then she'll start thinking about how her friends will react on where they went yadayada.

I'll slap you if you say that's dumb...it is just the way women are wired. That's why they can make everything beautiful when they are feeling safe and inspired. A date is the one time she can relax a little. Make the reservations. Get a baby sitter if you have kids. Just do it. It doesn't have to be extravagant, ubber thoughtful, just take care of everything so she can relax a little.

Little things mean everything to her. This does not mean unilaterally clean out the savings account to buy a boat. It means in these little things, just take care of it. It means everything to her just to be able to relax for a few hours every now and then.

So take a lesson from "Mr. Sensitive" idiot. Just take care of it. If you don't she will be tired when the evening is done and that kind of defeats the purpose. You want her to be relaxed and energized. (Yeah, wink, wink, woo hoo - trust me)

NOTE: If she objects to your decision, its for a reason she can't articulate, don't argue. So plan B's are a good thing to have too.

I can't believe it took me almost 50 years to really figure this out, but ever since I have taken this approach in dating, I have observed how the women in my life just relax and can be themselves. Test it out. Look into their eyes. You will see the narrow focus loosen up, their smiles will show in their eyes. The eyes sparkle. I hope you can see that deep joy in their soul. For most women, being taken care of is so different from everything else in their lives they absolutely love it and they have no idea why. Here's why...they finally feel safe and cared for. Occasionally be extravagant, but 99% of the time, little things mean everything.

[doxaholic 252]

lmao, Wink, wink, woo hoo!

[FunkyMunkyBrat 205]

YES PLEASE!

Munky

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,444]

Pirate!!!!! What have you been reading? Who are the women you know? Yeah, it's nice to keep things simple when they don't warrant back-and-forthing. What's the dif' between a woman's suggesting a restaurant and then wondering how the suggestion is being received and a man's having a Plan B if the woman objects to his first suggestion? Same thing, different name. Are a woman's responsibilities and challenges in life so paralyzing that she can relax only on a date?

I'm stopping here. After this:

Little things do mean much and I like when a man skips the aforesaid back-and-forthing waste of time -- and I'm also capable of same -- but you've described details of biblical proportion.

Edited October 15, 2016 by WLSResources/ClothingExch

[OKCPirate 5,323]

@@WLSResources/ClothingExch - Oh, you are correct, I forgot to add to let her lead when she wants to. My GF puts together dates, and I let her run it. She has a plan and I'm in it for the ride and let her enjoy giving. So guys please don't take from my rant that you have to run over her and always be in charge. I'm sorry if I wasn't more clear, this example was just for obtuse guys who don't realize that women do enjoy being taken care of.

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,444]

@@WLSResources/ClothingExch - Oh, you are correct, I forgot to add to let her lead when she wants to.

My friend, you've really put your foot in it now. Let her lead? Let her? Couldn't you have advised the men to relax, too? it's just a human-people thing for either party to make a plan because something of particular interest is going on.

Rats, there it is again -- the Male Only label. Why doesn't it ever show when I first look into a topic? It's a trap, I tell you. Just a defenseless, little girl....

[OKCPirate 5,323]

@@WLSResources/ClothingExch Umm, I am posting in the Guy's Room. I did that for a reason. I would have phrased everything differently in Mars/Venus or Single forum or Rants. I don't mind ladies chiming in, except on matters of style when it comes to addressing other guys. I hope I have been respectful to others in tone in various forums, but in a very NY fashion let me say "hey don't bust my balls for talking like a guy." Just saying.

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,444]

@@OKCPirate, I'm no wing clipper, just responding to the wing span. I also thought you'd detect a little humor. Alas, it fell flat. I'm packing up my eggs and exiting.

[Jane1979 270]

Ladies, chicks, girls, women... calm down! We all know, WE actually run the show. It is US who let them take the lead, therefore them letting us take the lead is just us really having control. yes. I meant to confuse you.

Guys if you really want an excellent date, be rich, handsome, charming and witty. If you can't be any of those things, just be real. If your a talker, Yap her ear off. If your a jerk, be a jerk (some chicks dig that) if your boring... well... just stay home

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[doxaholic 252]

Was that Donald Trump? Not getting political just sounded familiar lmao

[Recycled 2,182]

Tsk, Tsk, Tsk, Pirate, when will you learn.......Women are from Venus......always have been, always will be.

Nuf said...... I gotta get back to Mars.

[Recycled 2,182]

Ladies, chicks, girls, women... calm down! We all know, WE actually run the show.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

wanna bet......And I have a picture of my boat in my wallet to prove it......

[Addicted2Diesel 11]

You nailed it!!!

Sent from my XT1254 using the BariatricPal App

[Djmohr 6,965]

@@OKCPirate

Wow, I love your post!!!! Thankfully i am very lucky and have a man that after 29 years of marriage knows exactly how to help me relax.

He is the date night guy, I am the family travel coordinator for vacations. I prefer he take care of date night and we usually have a quick conversation so he knows what i am up for.

Tonight we are having date night.....my favorite steak place in Milwaukee. Nice slow relaxing meal, lots of great conversation (yes, we still have plenty to talk about). And who knows ......maybe that will lead to some fun at home for us! LOL

Lest not forget a couple of really great glasses of wine! Wine makes me very mellow!

[Gary Bentz 102]

@@WLSResources/ClothingExch - Oh, you are correct, I forgot to add to let her lead when she wants to. My GF puts together dates, and I let her run it. She has a plan and I'm in it for the ride and let her enjoy giving. So guys please don't take from my rant that you have to run over her and always be in charge. I'm sorry if I wasn't more clear, this example was just for obtuse guys who don't realize that women do enjoy being taken care of.

Everybody enjoys being taken care of, not just women. Mostly, it's the relationship between those involved that determines how things go.

Sent from me to you!