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Idiot dater (Rant warning)



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@@WLSResources/ClothingExch - Oh, you are correct, I forgot to add to let her lead when she wants to. My GF puts together dates, and I let her run it. She has a plan and I'm in it for the ride and let her enjoy giving. So guys please don't take from my rant that you have to run over her and always be in charge. I'm sorry if I wasn't more clear, this example was just for obtuse guys who don't realize that women do enjoy being taken care of.

Everybody enjoys being taken care of, not just women. Mostly, it's the relationship between those involved that determines how things go.

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Remember, if you both give 100%, that means you have 200% to share. It works!

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@@OKCPirate

Wow, I love your post!!!! Thankfully i am very lucky and have a man that after 29 years of marriage knows exactly how to help me relax.

He is the date night guy, I am the family travel coordinator for vacations. I prefer he take care of date night and we usually have a quick conversation so he knows what i am up for.

Tonight we are having date night.....my favorite steak place in Milwaukee. Nice slow relaxing meal, lots of great conversation (yes, we still have plenty to talk about). And who knows ......maybe that will lead to some fun at home for us! LOL

Lest not forget a couple of really great glasses of wine! Wine makes me very mellow!

woGhkX8.jpg

That's how it should be. Nice to know that there are couples who get it right.

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Everybody enjoys being taken care of, not just women. Mostly, it's the relationship between those involved that determines how things go.

Sent from me to you!

Yes. If Pirate-san had put it that way.... Don't tell him that I'm saying this, but I do believe he's a good, sound, sane man who is a good sweetie. (He knows it.)

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@@WLSResources/ClothingExch Umm, I am posting in the Guy's Room. I did that for a reason. I would have phrased everything differently in Mars/Venus or Single forum or Rants. I don't mind ladies chiming in, except on matters of style when it comes to addressing other guys. I hope I have been respectful to others in tone in various forums, but in a very NY fashion let me say "hey don't bust my balls for talking like a guy." Just saying. ;-)

You sound like a decent guy! Thanks for your post. You tried to be very nice. Some women love that.

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OKCPirate

I noticed that your SURGEON was JOSE Rodriquez did you have your surgery in Juarez Mexico? My hubby had his WLS surgery thru him on June 3, 2016. Just curious.

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Every time I read one of these things about what women want, the more I realize I don't have the necessary skills. I may just get a dog or cat.

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Every time I read one of these things about what women want, the more I realize I don't have the necessary skills. I may just get a dog or cat.

Akin to the old joke "sure it's a crooked game, but it's the only game in town." Or as Sam Kininson said, "geez it's love women, or find the hind quarters of guys attractive...thanks for the big choice God."

I personally love the journey. I love trying to figure out women and my GF in particular. Not claiming to have figured everything out, and ultimately everyone is the same, in that we are all different and I think people are capable of change and growth. It's challenge, a Quest, a journey. Even the dumb experiences are ultimately worth it IMHO. (But SGC, remember, women have to put up with men, so it's a two way street.)

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@@OKCPirate wrote:

I love trying to figure out women and my GF in particular.

Not claiming to have figured everything out,

and ultimately everyone is the same, in that we are all different

(But SGC, remember, women have to put up with men, so it's a two way street.)

Line #1: [a] give it up, and does she know? No scalpels allowed.

Line #2: that says it all

Line #3: as an aside, a woman and her two young daughters, different from each other except for their confidence, presented a product on Shark Tank. Part of their promotion is intended to describe the sisters and their target market, other young girls: "Equally different." Couldn't be better.

Line #4: Easy. Enough men are as complex as amoebae.

Edited by WLSResources/ClothingExch

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Ahhhhh.

I don't care what any woman says... I'm all about chivalry being alive and well.

A man who actually gives a crap enough to keep me guessing, willing to surprise me, is attentive, focused on me, my happiness, relaxation and wants/needs? That man had me at "Hello..."

Reciprocity is king here, though. In a relationship, it's paramount to make certain each other feels wanted, loved, needed, and women are no stranger to this concept. It's simply about these two people finding one another.

#lifegoal

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

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LisaMergs

HEAR HEAR!!! Totally agree with you!! But....our generation ( I'm 60 and he is 66) just don't have much of a ROMANTIC BONE in their body!! My sweet hubby come's thru once and awhile, like I don't dare say I like something cuz he will get it one way or another. Also, each and every one of his Brother's ( real and 1/2 bro's) have not any romance in them either!! HHHMMM Makes you wonder if it is in their GENES!!!

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I'm not reading all the comments, but based on OP, yes, I would LOVE if hubby would take the lead and do the planning and just let me "be" on a date. It's exhausting doing this adulting thing, LOL, and a break would be lovely.

A side note, I went to France with a girlfriend of mine, and she said she was a control freak and wanted to plan it all, did I mind? Um, nope! It was HEAVENLY. I felt like a protected kid who just showed up and had a good time. Same idea. So long as you trust the person, it's so nice to be taken care of that way!

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LisaMergs

HEAR HEAR!!! Totally agree with you!! But....our generation ( I'm 60 and he is 66) just don't have much of a ROMANTIC BONE in their body!! My sweet hubby come's thru once and awhile, like I don't dare say I like something cuz he will get it one way or another. Also, each and every one of his Brother's ( real and 1/2 bro's) have not any romance in them either!! HHHMMM Makes you wonder if it is in their GENES!!!

Its encoded in every male's DNA. It has to be taught. But once you see the benifit and how much the woman in your life appreciates it, well it makes it easier. Old dogs are capable of learning new tricks, just requires more positive reinforcement. ;-)

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My 69 y/o husband is the most romantic love of my life. I wake every morning to the roaring sounds of Good Morning Beautiful, as I am looking like hell! After 25 years, he still opens the door for me, he has Stevia in my cup when I pour my coffee. I cold bore you with more, but I wish I was as smart when I was young as I was when I met him at age 47. Treasure each other.

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OKCPirate ---- time to give up your man card and go hang out in the powder room. <_< -_-

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@@Recycled embrace the way of the warrior poet. It is possible to be strong, virile, protective, wild and wide open but understanding, thoughtful and not a p*ick. Learn it, live it, love it. It will utterly change your life. Highly attractive to secure women. ;-)

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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