How do you stay positive? I am not happy!

[Spectra13 25]

I am 4 weeks out (sleeved 9/19) and struggle mentally on this daily. It's not easy and I keep saying I regret even doing it. I don't want to eat 4oz meals forever.

What's messed up is, people who go through this should be made to see a psychologist who specializes in food disorders for 6 months instead of one visit to say she is sane enough to have the surgery. Because if you get your mentality under control you may not even need the surgery. You may be able to do it yourself. Unfortunately, I didn't realize that until now. Yeah all the failed diets, "I can't do it by myself cos I've tried 10 times and failed" blah blah. It's bull. There is a mental reason we haven't been able to do it. (Unless you have medical reasons of course). We are addicted to food. And I think about food now WAY MORE then I did before the surgery. Because I have to and it's torture and I hate it.

It's a hassle to go anywhere. I have no energy. I feel like I'm dying and I dream about pizza. Everyone here seems so positive and upbeat. "Think about why you wanted to do it in the first place...." it's not the answer for me. "Go talk to someone"....It's not the answer for me. I don't know what I can do, but I know it's done and I can't turn back the clock. I know I am forced to live like this now. All I can do is pray. But most of the time I just curse myself for doing this at all.

Has no one here felt like that!!??? I feel so alone in these thoughts here.

HW 276. SW 245. CW 230

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[Spectra13 25]

I posted this in the wrong spot and added it to another board. How do I delete this

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[AnA92212 577]

I'm so sorry that you are feeling this way. I do agree about the therapy before surgery. The first couple months are the toughest. On my very first Mother's Day I was only 2 weeks out from surgery. My father in law took everyone out to eat. I was sitting there holding my 2 month old baby and I couldn't eat anything. I literally cried at the table. Then, I started to be able to eat different kinds of foods. I was able to work out. I didn't hurt any more. I started losing weight. Then, about 4 weeks in, I hit a stall. I was so upset and regretted the surgery. Then I saw my nutritionist and she gave me some tips about my diet. I needed to eat some carbs! Well, I am now almost 18 months out and down 174 pounds. I ran my first half marathon last month. I've had many stalls, but I made it through them. Thankfully, my issues with food are better. I don't run to food if I've had a bad day or if I am stressed. I chose to eat healthy foods most of the time.

What I do suffer from now is a little bit of body dysmorphia. I still see that almost 300 pound woman sometimes. I do still weigh everyday. It's just to chart my fluctuations though. I still track my food 5 days a week.

I hope you can find some encouragement, support, help, therapy. Many people think surgery is like a magic wand, but it isn't.

[melrey521 5]

What does HW, SW, and CW stand for?

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[Dawnislas 74]

HW=highest weight, SW=surgery weight, CW=current weight

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[summertoole 14]

I feel the same as you 9 days post op! I hate it and wish I had never done it!

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[corneygirl 5]

I can relate to your post. I try to stay positive most days, or just ignore my emotions. I literally miss food and find myself listing all the things I want to eat. I feel like I think about food way more than I used to also.

One thing that has helped me is that I kept a reminder on my phone for my weekly shot for diabetes. I no longer need the shot or any other meds as my diabetes is gone. That is a success for me and helps me re-focus on the reasons I made the decision to have surgery.

Maybe try to find small successes, because this journey can be challenging. I wish you the best!

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[pammyjo 4]

I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I am positive but that is not to say I don't get frustrated. As you said we are food addicts. Addicts have withdrawals and that is where the anger and frustration comes from.

It can be frustrating to sit and watch people eat. I tried restaurants- right now they are not for me. I personally sit on my couch while my family eats. And we are a family that eats at the table and talk. I miss it but I know it will not be permanent.

Find someone to talk to that has had this local. I have 3 people and I can talk to them through all my stages. They text me, we talk and so on. It keeps you encouraged. Yes you are going to be upset. Yes you are going to be mad and yes you will cry and ask, "what was I thinking?"

Before I did this I was very aware of what I was doing. I have been overweight for 30 plus years and I was addicted to sweets. I have tried many things and absolutely nothing worked. This, as I found out is not an easy thing to do. My doctor explained that to me.

I think some people think this will be an easy fix and it's not by no means. It is rough and it is hard some days. It is a life change and I know you know that but knowing doesn't make it easy.

I also have a picture of what I would love to look like and that is also my encouragement. My family supports me as well as my work colleagues.

My advice is continue to pray and find someone that you can sit down with and let them walk you through this.

I write this as I am very sick and it's over a small pill I took. I don't get sick and so needless to say I am not happy about it but when my clothes fit better I'm reminded eventually I will look up and it will be all worth it.

I struggle with eating enough Protein and or eating at all. I literally have to force myself to eat, as I could careless. I'm tired, I'm weak and I do not have my energy back at all and I have a very stressful job and work 10/12 hours 6 days a week. I just have to take day by day and know it's all going to be okay.

Hang in there and I will also pray for you. Just know what you are feeling is okay. Dive deep down deep inside and find your inner strength. It's there.

Good luck.

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