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I get so annoyed when anyone lectures me about weight loss surgery but even more so when it's a physician who's specialty isn't even bariatrics and I haven't asked for their opinion. This same thing happened in January with my rheumatologist and I ranted back then as well. Today it was a pulmonologist in sleep Medicine that I've never met before. He sat down in front of me and told me to tell him what was going on but before I could even begin to speak he started lecturing me on how WLS doesn't keep the weight off, that I won't lose anymore weight if I don't change how I eat and that weight loss is 90-95% diet and has very little to do with physical activity but then contradicted himself when he said his physician friend eat like "a pig" and has 2 doughnuts and a huge bowl of Cereal for Breakfast, a HUGE lunch and dinner plus ice cream and something else and as big as a twig, he finished with "we all have to make choices. You can't just eat what you want and expect to lose more weight." All of this without asking me what I eat or how much I've lost. I wanted to be defensive but instead I said, "Thank you for your OPINION, we all have to find what works for us because we are certainly not all the same"

Funny enough I followed that up with an appointment to establish care with a Bariatric clinic in my new location. I asked the NP I was seeing what percent of weight loss they considered successful, I never did get an answer but she boasted that they have seen many patients that have regained weight from other surgical locations but their own patients are more successful. Guess how long they've been doing surgeries?!? Two whopping years. I'd be more impressed if she had said it with less derision towards outside providers and less cockiness and had she given more kudos to the actual patients that are following their program and being successful rather than taking responsibility for their success. Some days I hate to admit I'm in healthcare when I see this is how people are treated. Also, I miss my old insurance and the providers I had access to the last time I lived in Wisconsin.

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I guess being older and having comorbidities made it easier for us. We had a long time primary doctor, and cardiologist, who were so supportive, and are still are our biggest fans of our weight loss. They had no more solutions to my husbands problems, as he was off the chart with his blood pressure, sleep apnea, diabetes, cellulitis, and general health. He is a tall, lean, tanned and beautiful man today, with a big smile. Thank God for supportive doctors.

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I've only had one health care "professional" be a jerk - my PCP's nurse, and she is always kind of a jerk. She thought it appropriate when she saw me AFTER the surgery to tell me how every person she has every known who had this surgery gained all their weight back. Thanks.

More frustrating to me, personally, was all the doctors that continually told me I needed to lose weight. Literally any doctor I ever went to would have a conversation with me about my weight, but they never really proposed anything that would help. They would just tell me I "really needed to do something about it". Yeah, no kidding.

I was one of my orthopedic doctors than finally recommended bariatric surgery, and did it in a very honest, but direct way. He sympathized with me saying he understood that it was incredibly difficult, and that most people really are not able to it on their own in the long run. He even mentioned that telling me I need to lose weight was of really no value as I was obviously an intelligent man and knew this. He went on to inform me that if I continued as I was, I would become disabled. And not many years down the road, but soon. He said I would most likely be in a wheelchair in less than 10 years, and that I would struggle with the surgeries I needed and the recovery. Then he suggested I consider bariatric surgery - again noting it was a big decision, but that perhaps I start by going and talking with a surgeon to learn more.

Now THAT is a helpful approach - at least for me. Showing care and compassion goes a long way in having your message heard. Being educated on obesity helps as well.

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I've only had one health care "professional" be a jerk - my PCP's nurse, and she is always kind of a jerk. She thought it appropriate when she saw me AFTER the surgery to tell me how every person she has every known who had this surgery gained all their weight back. Thanks.

More frustrating to me, personally, was all the doctors that continually told me I needed to lose weight. Literally any doctor I ever went to would have a conversation with me about my weight, but they never really proposed anything that would help. They would just tell me I "really needed to do something about it". Yeah, no kidding.

I was one of my orthopedic doctors than finally recommended bariatric surgery, and did it in a very honest, but direct way. He sympathized with me saying he understood that it was incredibly difficult, and that most people really are not able to it on their own in the long run. He even mentioned that telling me I need to lose weight was of really no value as I was obviously an intelligent man and knew this. He went on to inform me that if I continued as I was, I would become disabled. And not many years down the road, but soon. He said I would most likely be in a wheelchair in less than 10 years, and that I would struggle with the surgeries I needed and the recovery. Then he suggested I consider bariatric surgery - again noting it was a big decision, but that perhaps I start by going and talking with a surgeon to learn more.

Now THAT is a helpful approach - at least for me. Showing care and compassion goes a long way in having your message heard. Being educated on obesity helps as well.

HELL YES!!!!!! I

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was one of my orthopedic doctors than finally recommended bariatric surgery, and did it in a very honest, but direct way. He sympathized with me saying he understood that it was incredibly difficult, and that most people really are not able to it on their own in the long run. He even mentioned that telling me I need to lose weight was of really no value as I was obviously an intelligent man and knew this. He went on to inform me that if I continued as I was, I would become disabled. And not many years down the road, but soon. He said I would most likely be in a wheelchair in less than 10 years, and that I would struggle with the surgeries I needed and the recovery. Then he suggested I consider bariatric surgery - again noting it was a big decision, but that perhaps I start by going and talking with a surgeon to learn more.

Now THAT is a helpful approach - at least for me. Showing care and compassion goes a long way in having your message heard. Being educated on obesity helps as well.

Strangely enough, that was my wake up call. When I was as the Sugar Bowl (irony indeed) I showed some stroke like symptoms which scared the hell out of me. My PCD didn't see any problem, but because I was seeing weird lights in my vision, I saw my eye doc, she was an old friend and she had a great heart to heart talk with me...she said "look these are just warning lights on your dashboard. You need to get your weight down, or you are going to be diabetic and have other problems." That got me on the path to begin to seriously work at losing weight. After 6 months of trying at WW, I ran across a pod cast where they talked about WLS and the Cleveland Clinic study of long term success, and they said something I had never heard before...'the success rate for behavior modification was less than 5%, but surgery was over 70%.' I remember saying BS, but they were dead on right. That's when I started looking into WLS. So those of you in the medical profession, sometimes, we patients do listen. You might be the SMC (sudden moment of clarity) for another human being. You don't know. No one does. But keep up the earnest work. ;-)

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I was not sure what my GP would say about it when I went in for all my pre op testing. He was so supportive. I've been going to him since I was 27 (I am 41 now) and back then I was 123 lbs. He knows how much my appearance has changed over the years and all of the failed ventures I have gone through to lose this weight. I was so relieved when he was supportive and actually asked me to tell him more about the surgery since he is not a specialist.

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The worse experience I have had in this whole 6 month process was with the RN who "cared" for me post op. Over a three day period she told me that

1) I shouldn't complain about pain after "elective surgery"

2) that another patient admitted the same time as I was left 12 hours post op

3) and almost all patient only stay one night .

4) Oh...and I would probably gain all the weight back anyway.

Then right after the Dr said I should stay another day because I had a fever and my blood pressure was high she came into my room announced that I was "within the protocol to be discharged" and removed my IV and made me wait over an hour past the time my next oral pain medication was due...

She should have read my chart, then she would have know that I am an administrator at the hospital.

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Aggiemae, I had some terrible nursing care after my surgery along with some very obvious judgement about my choice to have it. I'm thankful for the caregivers that were amazing and supportive. I wonder if your nurse had known you were an administrator if it would have changed her attitude or if she treats others even worse?

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    • Theweightisover2024🙌💪

      Question for anyone, how did you get your mind right before surgery? Like as far as eating better foods and just doing better in general? I'm having a really hard time with this. Any help is appreciated 🙏❤️
      · 2 replies
      1. NickelChip

        I had about 6 months between deciding to do surgery and getting scheduled. I came across the book The Pound of Cure by Dr. Matthew Weiner, a bariatric surgeon in Arizona, and started to implement some of the changes he recommended (and lost 13 lbs in the process without ever feeling deprived). The book is very simple, and the focus is on whole, plant based foods, but within reason. It's not an all or nothing approach, or going vegan or something, but focuses on improvement and aiming for getting it right 80-90% of the time. His suggestions are divided into 12 sections that you can tackle over time, perhaps one per month for a year if a person is just trying to improve nutrition and build good habits. They range from things like cutting out artificial sweetener or eating more beans to eating a pound of vegetables per day. I found it really effective pre-surgery and it's an eating style I will be working to get back to as I am further out from surgery and have more capacity. Small changes you can sustain will do the most for building good habits for life.

      2. Theweightisover2024🙌💪

        That sounds awesome. I'll have to check that out thanks!

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