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The first day for the rest of my life



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Dr. z the psych for Kaiser Richmond bariatric described my life perfectly. The day I got hurt at work was the day my life as I knew it was over. I died that day, the "me" I knew myself to be was gone forever.

I worked At a corporate bank doing computer work, my wrists hurt my thumbs hurt and soon my neck would hurt too. Then one day couldn't lift my arms. Had gone to several doctors looking for answers, some said that I had fibromyalgia, others say CRPS. Either way I was unemployable. I was 24 years old.

I fell into a depression, sleeping most of the day, eating candy and ice cream, French fries and diet soda (thinking that helped) but soon my body went from 150lbs to 265lbs. I was miserable.

Then I found a Doctor Who had a cure for my condition, at the moment she took a look at me walk out the door. She wrote me off as being "deconditioned" in other words fat. She didn't even examine me. I tried everything, or so I say. But the truth of the matter is I had given up on life. I tried phentermine, hydroxycut, I tried starvation, dr. Fuhrman, even It Works Wraps, but nothing lasted very long.

I finally realized I needed to do something, something drastic to change my life. I want to be healthy. I want to be happy.

I found the Kaiser bariatric program and doubted that it would work. I started my program in March with the orientation and let the information go in one ear and out the other. I thought I would skirt by and no one would notice that I hadn't changed a thing about my eating habits. I saw dr. Z, got cleared, saw the surgeon, got cleared, in fact I didn't have to lose any weight! He was happy with the weight I was at 241. There was one condition I had to stop using 420 for pain relief so I had to wait 3 months to see Liz, the nurse case manager. In that time I pee tested clean, and weighed in at 242. I was livid when they wouldn't see me. In fact, they said I wasn't ready.

I couldn't run anymore I had to lose weight. I had to figure this thing out. And I'm glad I did. I opened my binder for the first time in months and read the pre-op diet. I finally started taking this on 100%. I learned how to meal prep. I ordered a scale, I cooked all my food and weighed it out for the entire week, and low and behold I weighed in at 240 and got my apt with Liz.

I continued the pre/op diet while I waited. The day I saw Liz my weigh in was 235! I was ecstatic. I wasn't broken, and this meal prep stuff was easy and REWARDING!

I now work out 5 days a week, lifting weights, swimming, playing rugby, walking, riding bikes. Etc. and I have my surgery date for 10/17. Only a few weeks away.

My life has already changed drastically, and I feel better than i have in years.

My workers comp injury doctor, one of the best cardiovascular surgeons in the United States is pleased with my progress and is in support of my choice to do bariatric.

Finally for the first time in 4 years I have a future that is bright and it is out in front of me!

I still hate the body i see in front of me. The mirror doesn't match who I am. I am an athlete and a beautiful strong woman. But from the outside I am wrapped up in a body of flub. I can't wait to break free!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

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Awesome!! You are already making so many positive changes and having successful weight loss. Keep up the great work!!

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@ NapaGirl1707

I love what you said. You said exactly how I feel.

"The mirror doesn't match who I am. I am an athlete and a beautiful strong women. But from the outside I am wrapped up in a body of flub. I can't wait to break free"

Thank you

Sent from my Z981 using the BariatricPal App

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    • LeighaTR

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      1. Selina333

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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