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Feeling annoyed with my bf... need advice

krazykristen

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Babbs    14,681

Babbs
Posted

How much you wanna bet when this guy gets a cold, he acts like he's on deaths door?

Yet having 85% of your stomach removed is "minor".

Some people.

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OutsideMatchInside    10,166

OutsideMatchInside
Posted

Yeah you really have to live your life for yourself and worry about your needs.

I never thought I was an unhappy fat person or in pain, but now that I have lost weight I can recognize how much pain I was in every single day, and how uncomfortable I was daily, just doing daily tasks.

When you lose weight and feel better, you will have a whole new outlook on life. If you are in your 20s still, you are doing yourself a big favor by taking care of this now instead of later.

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krazykristen    61

krazykristen
Posted

How much you wanna bet when this guy gets a cold, he acts like he's on deaths door?

Yet having 85% of your stomach removed is "minor".

Some people.

My thoughts exactly. Thats how he is

Sent from my SM-G900P using the BariatricPal App

Yeah you really have to live your life for yourself and worry about your needs.

I never thought I was an unhappy fat person or in pain, but now that I have lost weight I can recognize how much pain I was in every single day, and how uncomfortable I was daily, just doing daily tasks.

When you lose weight and feel better, you will have a whole new outlook on life. If you are in your 20s still, you are doing yourself a big favor by taking care of this now instead of later.

Im happy you are no longer in pain :) I have daily back pain and knee pain and I'm only 25. Im also 258 and 5'4.

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Pescador    1,374

Pescador
Posted

When the focus comes off him and is on you, things changed, right? You are old enough to take charge of your life. Best wishes, good luck, and reflect on how he treats you during this process. That is your future.

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krazykristen    61

krazykristen
Posted

When the focus comes off him and is on you, things changed, right? You are old enough to take charge of your life. Best wishes, good luck, and reflect on how he treats you during this process. That is your future.

It seems to be that way. Its always all about him and his kid and it frustrates me. This is the ONE thing I have chosen to take control of my life and he acts like its no big deal. Im tired of worrying about other people and not myself. That's why Im so overweight

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Babbs    14,681

Babbs
Posted

When the focus comes off him and is on you, things changed, right? You are old enough to take charge of your life. Best wishes, good luck, and reflect on how he treats you during this process. That is your future.

It seems to be that way. Its always all about him and his kid and it frustrates me. This is the ONE thing I have chosen to take control of my life and he acts like its no big deal. Im tired of worrying about other people and not myself. That's why Im so overweight

Sent from my SM-G900P using the BariatricPal App

You seem like a smart girl with a good head on your shoulders. You'll figure this out :) Keep us posted on your progress and whether you end up killing this guy ;)

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krazykristen    61

krazykristen
Posted

When the focus comes off him and is on you, things changed, right? You are old enough to take charge of your life. Best wishes, good luck, and reflect on how he treats you during this process. That is your future.

It seems to be that way. Its always all about him and his kid and it frustrates me. This is the ONE thing I have chosen to take control of my life and he acts like its no big deal. Im tired of worrying about other people and not myself. That's why Im so overweight

Sent from my SM-G900P using the BariatricPal App

You seem like a smart girl with a good head on your shoulders. You'll figure this out :) Keep us posted on your progress and whether you end up killing this guy ;)
Will do and thank you lmao Im at the point where I have to be selfish and maybe that sounds conceited but Im tired of worrying about everyone else.

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Pescador    1,374

Pescador
Posted

When the focus comes off him and is on you, things changed, right? You are old enough to take charge of your life. Best wishes, good luck, and reflect on how he treats you during this process. That is your future.

It seems to be that way. Its always all about him and his kid and it frustrates me. This is the ONE thing I have chosen to take control of my life and he acts like its no big deal. Im tired of worrying about other people and not myself. That's why Im so overweight

Sent from my SM-G900P using the BariatricPal App

Sweetie, this is all about you. Trust me, he can replace you for another babysitter. I hope you value yourself as a human being to stand up for yourself. He will be very threatened by your surgery and weight loss. No matter, so long as you expect it. There are many women her who have experienced this and will reach out to you. Be firm, be strong, do not waffle. If he is the love of your life hopefully you will know it soon. You can do this, you will find your strength I promise you. You won't be the same, you will demand more for yourself as a partner in life.

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krazykristen    61

krazykristen
Posted

When the focus comes off him and is on you, things changed, right? You are old enough to take charge of your life. Best wishes, good luck, and reflect on how he treats you during this process. That is your future.

It seems to be that way. Its always all about him and his kid and it frustrates me. This is the ONE thing I have chosen to take control of my life and he acts like its no big deal. Im tired of worrying about other people and not myself. That's why Im so overweight

Sent from my SM-G900P using the BariatricPal App

Sweetie, this is all about you. Trust me, he can replace you for another babysitter. I hope you value yourself as a human being to stand up for yourself. He will be very threatened by your surgery and weight loss. No matter, so long as you expect it. There are many women her who have experienced this and will reach out to you. Be firm, be strong, do not waffle. If he is the love of your life hopefully you will know it soon. You can do this, you will find your strength I promise you. You won't be the same, you will demand more for yourself as a partner in life.
Thank you I appreciate that ♡

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Christinamo7    4,042

Christinamo7
Posted

a couple of things to keep in mind in the coming weeks

a lot of us have crazy hormones right after surgery - for me up till about 4 1/2 months. unreasonably sad at times, madder than usual, after my husband like crazy. it's not typically a time to make changes to your life without at least filtering those decisions through someone unbiased whom you trust. and it is always a good idea when one has a partner, to warn them ahead of time about the good and the bad aspects of that hormone dump. :D

secondly, I find the better I am at self care, the more appropriate boundaries I have in my life and the better I am at caring for the people I care about - so hoping at the end of the day this will improve all y'all's lives

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sey1008    43

sey1008
Posted

He is 28. And Im in Texas so its hot right now. Feel free to say whatever lol its all good. Thanks for the advice.

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Yeahhhh mid October is a toss up. We are supposed to get a front, but it was like 80 for Christmas in Houston last year, so I wouldn't count on the cool down being permanent. That said, don't push yourself too much. You need to move, but you also need to heal. He sounds like he needs a reality check. Show him real videos of the procedure and show him potential complications. Make sure he understands how serious dehydration can be.

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cbonet    336

cbonet
Posted

Would it help him to have a reality check if he watched the video Of the surgery with you? Visuals can be very impactful especially since on the outside there's only a few incisions. Its recognizing what actually happens internally. If he doesn't get it then, he probably won't. Good luck.

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bitingcat    87

bitingcat
Posted

Don't forget you're not supposed to lift stuff - the last thing you want is to get stranded somewhere with a bunch of junk you can't carry. I had two c-sections with similar restrictions and the 6 week recovery is nothing to fool around with. It is major surgery - consider making him watch on YouTube . At the very least, go over post operative instructions from your surgeon with him. If he's unwilling to seriously listen and agree to support you, you may need to throw him back and bait another hook Personally, I'd vote no on the event. But I'm up for surgery next week and still hedging on whether I'll be up to taking a group of squealing teen girls to an anime convention over a Halloween weekend.

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Go To Topic Listing PRE-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A

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    • LeighaTR

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      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
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    • Doughgurl

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      1. Phil Penn

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        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

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        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

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    • Doughgurl

      Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

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    • Alisa_S

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
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      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

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