Negative comments - not "fat enough"?

[northcountyr1 199]

sleep apnea can be a killer.

Getting some possible relief from this alone is worth the price of surgery.

Folks that don't live with you don't fully know the impact that the medical issues that being overweight contributes to in your life. Even those living with you may not "get it". My wife, for instance, understood some of the struggles I was dealing with, but I'd concealed a lot from her. I didn't want to scare her with some of it.

Once I made it through the surgery and down the road 4 months or so.....I opened up to her and others more about my rationale and motivations for having weight loss surgery. After these conversations......all were fully supportive and understanding......and grateful I was seeing the relief from each of the signs the Grim Reaper was taking interest in me.....

Many people......hell, many patients.....equate weight loss surgery with simply "looking better". Our society is all about looks, no ?

Most people simply go through their lives blissfully ignorant to medical fears......until it strikes them or close to them.

Just tell them there are other issues that you are combating with this surgery or that you are being proactive to circumvent these issues. Living as an obese person is almost a guarantee to experience much more severe health issues and at a much earlier stage in life than is normal.

I agree, I've been wanting/needing the surgery for a few years, hubby is 5'5" about a buck 140. He just didn't want me to go under the knife as he put it. But this year things changed, my last visit to my pcp, I just had my by annual bloodwork done and he basically said I needed to get all my numbers down because he was afraid of me having a heart attack or stroke. I DID NOT tell hubby this until after the surgery. He was upset but us know, it's over and done with now and he knows I'm happier and couldn't be prouder of me. I'm 7 weeks out and just a hint over 30lbs down.  

Before, around June and after about 3 weeks ago.

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[Pescador 1,374]

Congrats!!!!!!

[northcountyr1 199]

Tyvm

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[Heather I 500]

I don't get offended -- try to look at it that people are trying to be nice in an offbeat way about my weight -- but honestly, I don't care what anyone else says or thinks -- I know I need it.

Having said that, my personal opinion is that SO MANY PEOPLE ARE OBESE, we have become blind to it! Everyone is overweight, usually obese, it no longer looks odd to us!

I've traveled overseas, and let me tell you, my height/weight totally made me stand out -- even 100 lbs less than where I am now! I was thunderstruck when I arrived in the New England airport midwinter from France and saw the heavy, slovenly population roaming around in there, LOL -- and I was one of them! Culture shock after seeing how other countries are thinner.

[shoodle72 61]

My BMI is 51. My surgeon will do gastric sleeve surgery on patients aged between 18 to 65 years. BMI must be over 35 unless the patient is pre-diabetic and then he will operate on BMI greater than 30.

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[Social Introvert 28]

I've posted about getting that comment several times too! I talked to a few friends over a year ago when I first started thinking about it and that was the response I got the most. "You're not THAT fat". Seriously? Is that supposed to be a compliment? They usually followed it up with tons of unsolicited diet and exercise advice.

I'm only telling my husband after I made the mistake of telling my best girl friend and heard nothing but negativity. I know she won't tell anyone else though, neither will I!

That's exactly what I don't want to hear! The unsolicited diet and exercise advice! Ugh, people don't understand that all of those things have been tried time and time again in my life! If I wanted to do that again, I'd be all in...now it's time for something different and more effective!

[shoodle72 61]

I totally understand your point of view. I understand that you have tried numerous diets in the past as have I. The decision to have a major operation such as this shouldn't be taken lightly and I am sure that we wouldn't be putting ourselves through this operation unless we have exhausted every other avenue. I hope all goes well for you Jim Paulette.

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[rolosmom7 740]

I dealt with that. I'm 5'11 so my weight is just spread out. Lost 12 pounds on the pre op diet, so far after surgery 3 days ago, have only lost one more. Thought it'd be more.

I had a 40-41 BMI - at 27 it was time to make the change before I went on to be even more overweight. So, do what's right for you and ignore anyone who isn't supportive. You don't need their negativity!

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[ocgirl15 667]

I hate this opinion! I was 42 BMI when started my process and 38 the day of surgery. Insurance paid for it 100% (I had meet my deductible of course). I was fat enough for insurance and your fat enough....but not for long! Your going enjoy wearing your skinny jeans around them!!!

[bevmccarthy 26]

Don't listen to people! I'm 230 and sleep aptna with other medical issues . I ignore people who say neg stuff. I surrounded myself with positive people

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[Alex Brecher 10,498]

@@Jim Paulette,

Even if we haven’t dealt specifically with that (“you’re not fat enough”), we have all dealt with people who know better than us about our health situations and personal lives. At least, they clearly believe that they do, and are not afraid to tell us, even if they clearly have no clue about the first thing about weight loss surgery.

Welcome to the world of being a weight loss surgery patient. Your entire journey will include comments and input and advice and suggestions and criticism from people who have no business telling you these things. “Are you eating THAT?!” “You’re taking the easy way out by getting surgery.” “I guess surgery didn’t work because you haven’t lost much weight.” “You are looking too thin.” Etc.

You will have to prepare yourself for all kinds of input, and you can choose how to respond. It could be ignoring them, smiling and nodding, trying to explain the truth, or coming up with a clever comeback. They’re all fair game!

As for your BMI – I’m guessing that should be an issue between you and your surgeon.

[mi75 1,235]

Yes, Alex is right. From here on, you are a bariatric patient and EVERYBODY seems to have an opinion.

Yes, I dealt with this as well. I actually had a BMI BELOW 40 when I started the process, but had multiple co-morbidities (four or five, i remember). During my initial workup process, I let my eating go a little haywire and ended up gaining a few pounds because I was so stressed out and so busy with my life. Even then, co-workers made comments that I wasn't 'big enough'. One day I took all of my 15 pill bottles to work with me and lined them up on my desk.

Ever so slowly, people started walking by and questioning. I very patiently and politely explained to them that it's not always your SIZE or your BMI, but your health is taken into consideration for surgery too.

That was the last of the snarky comments.

[Josterme 1]

I was in the same boat, 5'5 at 232lbs I wanted to change my life not so much lose weight, diabetes has sucked the life out of my family and was hot on my tail so i don't care what people say and you shouldn't either.

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[Skydivemilena 1]

I suggest that you concentrate only in what is good for you now . I 'm having surgery 9/20/16 and only my hubby knows about it, sometimes the less people that know your business the better. Bless Up !!!

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[Smdnght28 69]

I get this a lot from my sisters and even my husband. I might not look it but health wise I feel it

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