My story of screwing up. Support? Ideas?

[Hopefully A Butterfly 42]

I am so sorry to hear about the passing away of your friend. I lost one of my best friends years ago, right before I put on 50 pounds.

The good news is, you didn't gain this weight back from doing nothing. So it's a good thing that there is a reason; and that reason is when you stopped doing what made you lose the weight in the first place. It's actually not hard to gain 61 pounds in 7 months. I gained 50 pounds in 3 months because of oral steroids for sinus issues, and from the loss of my good friend.

You turned to food for comfort and you stopped working out because the sadness you felt drained the ambition you needed to keep trying.

You are already doing better, so that's great! Keep doing what you're doing. I also think it's a great idea to see a therapist.

I think what you need is support and friendship. You have a friend in me. So if you need any advice, or just someone to talk to, feel free to message me.

Thank you, that's very kind. I'm sorry to hear about your loss as well, and the weight gain you experienced.

I appreciate the offer of messaging you, I may just do that.

[Hopefully A Butterfly 42]

I think it's great that you know the issue. Makes it a lot easier to address. Sounds like you have the proper motivation, so now it's about making the right food choices.

I'm surprised that you were able to drink and eat at the same time, and eat much larger amounts without it being physically painful. Was it physically painful?

I think you have the right mindset moving forward and you know exactly what you need to do to succeed...you've already done it once, so it's just a matter of getting back to it....best of luck!!

Honestly, once I was about a month post-op I rarely ever felt the full feeling that so many people have described. I just had to weigh my food and stop eating. I didn't feel ravenously hungry like I did before surgery, but I never had that feeling of fullness that would help me stop. I've joked with my friends before that maybe my surgeon just put me to sleep, poked a few instruments in laproscopic holes, and then woke me up.

Thank you for responding, each reply helps.

[Hopefully A Butterfly 42]

I think you're doing great in deciding now to take control back!!! Good job! Here's something I found that may be helpful for you and get you kicked off in the right direction.

http://www.5daypouchtest.com/plan/theplan.html

I haven't tried it because I just had my surgery on May 16th. But I've read about several folks who have and it sounds like a great first step.

Please keep posting here and keep us up to date on your progress. Know that we're all here cheering for you!!!

editing to try to fix the link that's not working...try this one.

http://www.5daypouchtest.com/plan/theplan.html If that doesn't work do a google search for 5 day pouch test........it's a plan to help you get back on track.

Thank you for the link. I will look into that!

[thisgirlhunts 94]

You've done a brave thing! It's hard for anyone to admit that they've gotten off track and that they need to reset themselves. I believe that you've recognized some of your triggers and now you are taking the steps to be successful once again.

Healing--physically, emotionally, and spiritually--from grief is hard! I wish you peace on this journey as you come to terms with the grief and the changes you need to make.

I believe you will be successful!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[Hopefully A Butterfly 42]

Please don't beat yourself up about it. Look, You've lost 20lbs! Be proud of yourself, remain vigilant and consistent, the weight will come off.

Try working up an extra minute each day on the treadmill so if you can only walk 10mins today, push for 11mins the next day and so on to build that stamina.

You can look into having the bypass if you choose to!

If you fall off the wagon, get up, dust yourself off and keep going. You can only lose if you quit! Good luck!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Thank you. I am really going to try focusing on the positive. I am also going to work on slowly increasing my exercise. For me, that was a real key to my losing before. Even though I was only eating about 800 calories a day, I wasn't losing weight much until I started walking on the treadmill. You'd think the lack of calories would have been enough, but it wasn't.

Keep going forward. Thanks again!

[Hopefully A Butterfly 42]

I think by getting some help and refocusing on your health you are on the right track to get back on track.

I lost my beloved father just over a month ago, and it has sure knocked me down. I understand how the shock and grieving can affect you in this process. I am just now beginning to come out of my grief induced fog - and just for snatches of time.

I think you go back to basics. walk or do some other exercise as often as you can. ramp it up a little at a time. Hydrate and make sure you are getting your Water and supplements - and focus on lean Protein first.

Find other ways to self soothe - music, epsom salts baths, mani/pedi. I am a stress cleaner so I tend to take out my frustrations on the bathroom or kitchen.

I don't think you can really stretch out your sleeve - a pouch yes - but not the sleeve - so it is right there waiting for you. You can learn to eat around it, which you may have. if so - you will have to learn how to eat by the rules again. but you can do it!

I'm so sorry that you lost your father. I can't imagine that pain.

I've never tried an epsom salts bath, that sounds interesting. I definitely will be looking at other ways to self soothe. God knows I could stand to do some cleaning

To add to the stress, I'm starting nursing school in a few weeks so I need to get myself pulled together and get on a schedule.

Thanks for the reply

[Hopefully A Butterfly 42]

Jeez, with support groups like that, who needs enemies????

You didn't ruin your sleeve. You temporarily lost your way, and now you're back on the right path.

I find it courageous that you came here and admitted what happened. Keep that courage and you will do great!

I never went back to that group, as you can imagine. I may look into another group, but I'm not sure.

Someone else mentioned that it's hard to "ruin" a sleeve, so I'm hoping that's true. I self paid for this sleeve! Someone else mentioned revising to a gastric bypass, I didn't think of that but I'm going to see how I do on just recommitting first. My new insurance does pay for bypass, but not sure if a revision to one.

Thanks for the encouragement. I really do appreciate it.

[Hopefully A Butterfly 42]

I am very sorry for your loss. That is a very emotional thing to go through you have to allow yourself to grieve but also I am sure your friend would want you to put your health first. That support group should never make you feel less about yourself. The one good thing is that you realize that there was a problem and you started to correct it. This is a lifestyle change and it will take time to adjust but you did it before and you're going to do it again. Keep posting here your progress so we can support you. All the best and you will be back on track again soon.

Thank you so much! I think I may need to just focus on 10 pounds at a time until I can get under 300 and then set up more goals. I'll have to see what the therapist comes up with tomorrow.

I really appreciate your encouragement and positivity!

[Hopefully A Butterfly 42]

Sending hugs your way.

First, I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. That has got to be devastating for anyone.

Second, congratulations on your weight loss. Even though you have recently gained, you are not where you started and have made a tremendous amount of progress, even with some setbacks.

I started at a much higher weight than you and I was sleeved. I think the right surgery for you is what you and your surgeon decide is right for you at the time. Second guessing that decision after the fact doesn't seem very productive in my opinion.

I am so glad you have an appointment with a therapist. I am a huge believer in using all of my resources. Therapy can be a significant resource, especially if you can find a good therapist who is right for you.

Support groups can also be tremendously helpful, even if individuals in the support group may not be that helpful. Hopefully, the group process will help you sort through the advice to find what is helpful for you.

You might also want to consider attending Overeater's Anonymous (or AA) meetings. You can find meeting lists, podcasts, and other resources online at OA.org. When it comes to learning to cope with life on life's terms, OA can be a great resource.

Have you met with your NUT lately? If not, why not make an appointment to talk about your goals and challenges?

Do you journal? Journaling can be a powerful tool, especially in conjunction with therapy and/or 12-step recovery.

Have you considered grief counseling? My old church had an excellent grief counseling program. You may want to consider something similar in your community. Unfortunately, especially as we get older, grief is something we all experience at varying degrees and at varying times throughout out lives.

In the meantime, try going back to basics. Track your food, focus on getting in your Protein and fluids, take your Vitamins and supplements as instructed, avoid starches, added sugars, and fried foods, practice eating mindfully, exercise (it is great you are getting back on the treadmill if that works for you, you may also want to look for ways to add extra movement to your day).

Also, we are here for you! Keep us posted on how you are doing.

Thank you! There's so much good information and so many good suggestions in this response. I am definitely going to explore some of these options, I was foolish to think I didn't need some kind of therapy before. I mean, who gets to 500 pounds without having some issues to work through?

Truly, I thank you for responding. I can't tell you how much this helps.

[Hopefully A Butterfly 42]

I'm very sorry for the loss of your friend. I'm an emotional eater that turns to food as comfort as well. It's so easy to let the bad habits start snowballing, especially if one has a food/sugar addiction. I know it's tough but going to back to Protein shakes for a week, sometimes with a very small meal for dinner, really helps me break those carb/fast food addictions when I slip. Once I get past a week or two the cravings for sugary stuff disappears and I feel so much better. Also, I find eating higher fat foods helps me to feel more full and satisfied - good, fatty cheese like Gouda, olives, avocados, almonds, fish. I know a lot of folk watch fat intake as well as carbs but I don't succeed on low carb/low fat.

As far as the exercising goes, I literally feel your pain. It's only been in the last month or two that I can walk/jog on my treadmill without the extra skin pulling painfully - stomach, thighs, butt - it was so uncomfortable and made me hate doing it. Have you tried wearing a shape wear-type garment? That really helped keep everything around the middle compressed and eased a bit of the discomfort.

Good luck to you

I look at your ticker and I'm amazed at your progress! That's fantastic.

Thank you for the great suggestions. I haven't tried a shape wear garment, but I'll have to look into those. Do you have a type or brand you like best?

[Hopefully A Butterfly 42]

Have you tried swimming? If it weren't for the pool, I would get very little exercise. The Water is so much easier on the joints, etc.

I had a gym membership and used to swim right before my surgery, but I've let my gym membership go. The gym is kind of far from my home, so I'm not too sure about joining again at this point. I'm starting nursing school in 3 weeks so I'm going to probably have to stick to my treadmill here at home, but I appreciate the thought. Oh how I wish I had a pool in my backyard!

[Hopefully A Butterfly 42]

@@Hopefully A Butterfly, thank you for posting. You already are a butterfly! I also chose butterfly in my name because caterpillars eat and eat and eat....until they do not need to eat anymore. Then they go into their chrysalis and focus on healing and changing and emerge a butterfly. Sounds like that is where you are.

Beyond the sharing of the name, I have and continue to struggle after the death of my brother 8 months post sleeve. I can really relate to your post. You are brave to post and face your challenges head on.

My biggest offering, besides sending you positive energy, is to be compassionate to yourself as you do this work. Develop a self-care plan to fall back on when grief strikes and when choices are a struggle.

As you know, grief comes in waves and while we may be balanced one moment, a thought, song, image, smell can take us back into our grief in a heartbeat. I hope you are having moments of happy memories of your friend among the pain of their absence.

Please be kind to yourself and stay on BP. There are good people here!

I see we picked our names for the same reason, I love that!

I'm so sorry for the loss of your brother. Grief is a terrible thing, and I hope that you're able to think of him with joy more than sorrow.

I'm really hoping that the therapist can help me come up with strategies that can keep me out of Taco Bell's drive-thru line. I'm going to keep chipping away at this weight, 10 pounds at a time as a goal.

Thank you, again.

[Hopefully A Butterfly 42]

You've done a brave thing! It's hard for anyone to admit that they've gotten off track and that they need to reset themselves. I believe that you've recognized some of your triggers and now you are taking the steps to be successful once again.

Healing--physically, emotionally, and spiritually--from grief is hard! I wish you peace on this journey as you come to terms with the grief and the changes you need to make.

I believe you will be successful!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Thank you so much. I admit to being a little afraid to come into this place and admit how much I screwed up, but I'm overwhelmed at the kindness people have shown.

[KristenLe 5,980]

You've done a brave thing! It's hard for anyone to admit that they've gotten off track and that they need to reset themselves. I believe that you've recognized some of your triggers and now you are taking the steps to be successful once again.

Healing--physically, emotionally, and spiritually--from grief is hard! I wish you peace on this journey as you come to terms with the grief and the changes you need to make.

I believe you will be successful!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Thank you so much. I admit to being a little afraid to come into this place and admit how much I screwed up, but I'm overwhelmed at the kindness people have shown.

We all know how easy it is to slip up (better than screw up). You will get alot out of therapy. Stay strong - you can do this! You've already lost so much weight and should be proud!

[Alex Brecher 10,516]

@@Hopefully A Butterfly,

I think you are right on track. Yes, you fell off and you regained some of your weight, but that’s really the only bad news. Here is the good news – and it’s a pretty substantial list.

-You didn’t stretch your sleeve. Sleeves don’t stretch, at least that’s what a lot of the experts agree on.

-You caught your weight regain way earlier than you could have. You’re only 40 lbs above where you were, and you’re on your way down.

-Hopefully you learned a lesson, or a lot of lessons. For example, that you have the power to choose, and it’s up to you to choose something you’re proud of and makes you happy.

Another lesson? That this is for life. You lost 260 lbs. amazingly fast, and gained back 60. You have plenty of time to lose back to 299, and to keep going, and hit goal weight, and maintain. Maybe it’ll take 5 years. Maybe 10. What difference does it make? The only important thing is that you make decisions that make you healthier each day. As long as you’re doing that, you’ll feel better and better, and the scale will go down as it should, even if it’s slowly.

-You’re doing great with those healthy behaviors. Giving up fast food and getting on the treadmill are wonderful signs. Losing weight is a wonderful sign. Reaching out for help on BariatricPal is a wonderful sign.

Don’t listen to mean or ignorant people who say you wasted the sleeve. What they think doesn’t matter. It doesn’t even matter whether you should have gotten the sleeve. It’s done. What does matter is that you make the best of it, which you are doing now.

Good luck, and keep us posted on your progress!